May 1, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
Today, I am thinking about being content. It is something I have strived for. It has eluded me for a good portion of my life. I am now starting to be content. I am finding that “things,” don’t make me content. Relationships don’t either. For me contentment has truly come as I have learned to have a personal relationship with the Lord and as I learn to love God, I find I am able to love others in a deep way.
Philippians 4:11-13 is one of those passages that often speak to my heart. “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
I remember having the dream, “two kids, a station wagon, and a dog in the yard and a house in the suburbs.” I had that and still I was unfulfilled. I was sad, depressed a very discontented woman. Then I thought that owning a minivan would make me happy, nope, I wasn’t happy.
As a child, money was tight, very tight. We did not know at times where our next meal was going to come from. We often lived life on a day to day basis. It scared me. I had a constant fear that we would live on the street. I carried this fear into my adult life as well.
From age 23 to about age 46, I was in and out of counseling. I could not find peace. I wanted to idealize people too. I wanted to put them on a pedestal. I felt if I could find the “right” person and totally love them, then I would be loved, wanted and special. My love was an all consuming love.
I grew up in the church. I took my kids to church. I never had a problem believing that God existed. I could not figure out how to talk to God, to give God my heart. I would pray some. I would wake up in the middle of the night with deep fear gripping me. I would pray for my children from time to time. When my son began to get in serious trouble I learned to pray even more for him.
I was married for 24 years and then I was divorced. The marriage had been a roller coaster, still I thought we’d figure it out and then “get” it right. I thought we’d be one of those couples who in later years would come around and have a deep love and peace. It did not happen.
I moved in with my Mom just before we divorced. My goal was to clean up Mom’s house and prepare it for retirement. Mom and Dad did not keep an orderly home. My gift was to give Mom a cleaned up house. That year or so helped me so much. I cleaned up that house. I helped paint, my brother doing most of that. I cleaned out the basement. All that cleaning, lugging stuff to the curb helped me find peace.
I remember one of the nights lying in my bed. I prayed. I began talking to God. I talked to Him like He was my friend. I cried and told God how scared I was. I then asked God to allow me to be married again…something I had never wanted to do again. Marriage had been such hard work. I then started asking God for what I wanted in a husband. I wanted a man who had an education. I was not interested in a rich man. I did want our bills to be paid and enough money to pay those bills. I wasn’t looking for much more than a comfortable lifestyle…not fancy….extravagant. I wanted a healthy relationship. That was important to me. Then I asked God for a man who took his faith seriously. Oh, I asked for a man that I could look up to.
I went on with my life. I went to work. I went to church and continued on with being a youth advisor to the teens. I went to my counseling sessions. My counselor suggested I try a Divorce Recovery group. I went to that and found that helpful too. I even started to make friends, single friends. I was finding that I could move on. I was even enjoying myself.
Along the way I met Junior (a little too soon but hey it works). We have been married for 12 years now. Our marriage has been very satisfying. He is my best friend. I never believed a husband and wife could be best friends. We are. Junior takes his faith very seriously. He insisted that I put God before him. That was weird to me. I began talking to God and then reading my Bible.
The more I prayed and read my Bible, the more content I felt. Some of that is God makes me feel so special. The wonderful thing is God makes each one of us feel like we are very precious. As my faith has grown, I find I can face life. I can deal with people not loving me better now. I can accept that I am hard to love. I can love even if others don’t love me.
Somewhere along the way, I have learned that it isn’t fancy vacations, a showcase pretty house or lots of money that makes me happy. Today contentment is living each day for God. The more I am able to give God my heart, the more I find life not so hard and scary. If people don’t like me, I am able to move on. I am able to get up and face each and every day now. When I do stumble on occasion, God places help in my path. Last year I was grieving a relationship gone sour. I struggled and people close to me were concerned. I met with our Minister for several weeks. I am moving forward once more.
As I look back on my life I think I felt very unwanted. It is not something I realized as I went through life. It is something I see on hindsight. With Jesus though, I find life so sweet. I am happy more days than not now. Again it isn’t in the stuff. It is in knowing I am precious. With this love, I am able to face each day. I have a purpose which makes me feel good too. God has work for me to do and I love it. I am a writer, a friend, a wife (a job I adore), a mother, a grandmother and life is so very sweet.
As I end this, I have a question. What makes you happy?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, April 30, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
April 24, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
It seems to me that last year, I tended to look at relationships and that so far this year I am looking at my personality traits. I have had people try to direct me in my flaws and attempt to show them to me. Many of the attempts have been loving and tender, some haven’t.
I am again pondering “me.” I am in prayer a whole lot about “me,” as well. As I began my faith journey I remember praying to God and asking Him to be patient with me, help me grow and when I fell down, I asked that He would pick me up, dust me off and then send me on my way again. God has been faithful in helping me to “grow” into a woman after His heart. I wanted to “love” people. I wanted to “love” even if it hurt.
I have “loved” a whole lot since entering into my faith journey. I am able to love Junior and I believe that we have a fairly healthy relationship. I don’t think it was anything either of us was capable of on our own. We both have a track record of a failed marriage, a dysfunctional lifestyle. We pray often for our marriage, pretty much each day really. I believe that God teaches us to love, to deal with our flaws…the piece of the prayer that goes something like….”Lord Open my eyes and my heart to Junior,” has helped me to look past his strange to “me” ways
I don’t get angry like I used to get. Anger just does not well up inside of me anymore, do I occasionally get angry? Sure, I do. I just don’t have the depth of anger and to be honest, I can’t be the angry girl I was with my siblings, the angry frustrated wife I used to be in my other marriage. It is gone. God, I believe has taken that away from me.
I still have traits that are annoying. I wish they would go away. I pray asking God to take these flaws away from me. He reminds me from time to time that He may not take some things away. God told Paul that he would not take something away from him. God was made known with these struggles that Paul had. 2 Corinthians 12:7 – 9.
I keep seeing a picture, many times after I pray, I will see this. Is it God talking to me? I am starting to think maybe it is. I get this picture often. I see a clam. Then I see sand. I see that the sand is an irritant and then a pearl is formed. I also “hear” Junior. He often will tell people that he knows that he is not concerned when people are upset when he tells them about Jesus or that they may be headed to hell. He feels that pleasing God is more important. Junior also does not WANT anyone to go to hell, so if he was a little abrasive and they turn their heart to God…..well….
As people come alongside of me….I find I have courage. I find that many people will accept me, warts and all. God seems to accept me RIGHT where I am at. That really helps me. I am finding that if “each” of us will look at ourselves we will find….there are some flaws that are hard for others to deal with.
“M” has known me forever and a day. She is a precious friend. She knew me in my other life. She will often acknowledge that I have personality defects and then she says, “You’ve always been that way.” M has loved me for the heart of who I am. She loves me like God does. She loves me right where I am at. M has also helped me grow out of some of my defects too. She just loved, accepted me and rejoiced with me as I grew. That is how God loves us. He takes us right where we are at. For me that was wonderful. That right where I am at thing then leads to growth. When I found that God loves me “warts and all”…Wow! That is the point I was able to start to change. I couldn’t really change much until I was accepted AND loved.
In my walk with the Lord….I am able to love, to give and to grow. Until I met Jesus, my growth was slow. Since giving Jesus my heart….I am a different woman. I am a more content woman. I have a desire to give, to reach out and even do some hard to do things.
I am a “people pleaser.” I have wanted to find the right formula to love people. You know what? There isn’t a right formula. A lot of what I do to try to please people….really aggravates them. My heart at this stage is one that wants to please God. When I give God my heart, He is faithful and just. He helps me face life. He also reminds me that the people loved Jesus and then they hated him. They flocked to Him and then they had Him crucified.
When we walk with Jesus….we will have our trails. We will. Still I find a peace, contentment when I walk with Jesus. I find courage, a courage I never had before. I find a desire to please Him/God. I am also starting to be comfortable with the fact that “everyone” won’t like me. I am never going to make all people LOVE me. It won’t happen. I do find though, that when I give God my heart….I am able to love, even if my love isn’t returned.
Have you given God your heart? Is it time?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
It seems to me that last year, I tended to look at relationships and that so far this year I am looking at my personality traits. I have had people try to direct me in my flaws and attempt to show them to me. Many of the attempts have been loving and tender, some haven’t.
I am again pondering “me.” I am in prayer a whole lot about “me,” as well. As I began my faith journey I remember praying to God and asking Him to be patient with me, help me grow and when I fell down, I asked that He would pick me up, dust me off and then send me on my way again. God has been faithful in helping me to “grow” into a woman after His heart. I wanted to “love” people. I wanted to “love” even if it hurt.
I have “loved” a whole lot since entering into my faith journey. I am able to love Junior and I believe that we have a fairly healthy relationship. I don’t think it was anything either of us was capable of on our own. We both have a track record of a failed marriage, a dysfunctional lifestyle. We pray often for our marriage, pretty much each day really. I believe that God teaches us to love, to deal with our flaws…the piece of the prayer that goes something like….”Lord Open my eyes and my heart to Junior,” has helped me to look past his strange to “me” ways
I don’t get angry like I used to get. Anger just does not well up inside of me anymore, do I occasionally get angry? Sure, I do. I just don’t have the depth of anger and to be honest, I can’t be the angry girl I was with my siblings, the angry frustrated wife I used to be in my other marriage. It is gone. God, I believe has taken that away from me.
I still have traits that are annoying. I wish they would go away. I pray asking God to take these flaws away from me. He reminds me from time to time that He may not take some things away. God told Paul that he would not take something away from him. God was made known with these struggles that Paul had. 2 Corinthians 12:7 – 9.
I keep seeing a picture, many times after I pray, I will see this. Is it God talking to me? I am starting to think maybe it is. I get this picture often. I see a clam. Then I see sand. I see that the sand is an irritant and then a pearl is formed. I also “hear” Junior. He often will tell people that he knows that he is not concerned when people are upset when he tells them about Jesus or that they may be headed to hell. He feels that pleasing God is more important. Junior also does not WANT anyone to go to hell, so if he was a little abrasive and they turn their heart to God…..well….
As people come alongside of me….I find I have courage. I find that many people will accept me, warts and all. God seems to accept me RIGHT where I am at. That really helps me. I am finding that if “each” of us will look at ourselves we will find….there are some flaws that are hard for others to deal with.
“M” has known me forever and a day. She is a precious friend. She knew me in my other life. She will often acknowledge that I have personality defects and then she says, “You’ve always been that way.” M has loved me for the heart of who I am. She loves me like God does. She loves me right where I am at. M has also helped me grow out of some of my defects too. She just loved, accepted me and rejoiced with me as I grew. That is how God loves us. He takes us right where we are at. For me that was wonderful. That right where I am at thing then leads to growth. When I found that God loves me “warts and all”…Wow! That is the point I was able to start to change. I couldn’t really change much until I was accepted AND loved.
In my walk with the Lord….I am able to love, to give and to grow. Until I met Jesus, my growth was slow. Since giving Jesus my heart….I am a different woman. I am a more content woman. I have a desire to give, to reach out and even do some hard to do things.
I am a “people pleaser.” I have wanted to find the right formula to love people. You know what? There isn’t a right formula. A lot of what I do to try to please people….really aggravates them. My heart at this stage is one that wants to please God. When I give God my heart, He is faithful and just. He helps me face life. He also reminds me that the people loved Jesus and then they hated him. They flocked to Him and then they had Him crucified.
When we walk with Jesus….we will have our trails. We will. Still I find a peace, contentment when I walk with Jesus. I find courage, a courage I never had before. I find a desire to please Him/God. I am also starting to be comfortable with the fact that “everyone” won’t like me. I am never going to make all people LOVE me. It won’t happen. I do find though, that when I give God my heart….I am able to love, even if my love isn’t returned.
Have you given God your heart? Is it time?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, April 16, 2010
April 17, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
“In sickness and in health, in good times and bad, till death do us part.” Have you ever thought upon these words, these often used wedding vows? To me it is a huge statement, a declaration of committed love. I know that Junior and I often will spout them off to each other when we are being tried by the other one. Still, break it down and wow… what a commitment they can be.
I often refer to them in my faith journey with the Lord. Many times walking with Jesus, we tend to want the “good” stuff, not the hard work part of our faith journey. We want Jesus to “give” to us and we’d rather not have to do uncomfortable work, unpopular stuff, tell others how He has worked in our lives.
Jesus commands on his way back to heaven, “to go forth and make disciples of every nation and tribe.” For me, for the longest time, I did not want to offend, to be over ambitious in my “telling.” In the past many years, I’ve grown to love Jesus in a much different way. He has been at my side as I struggled greatly. I felt him there. He’d tell me I was precious as I felt beat up, an unwanted woman. He was there when I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to live financially after my divorce. As people close to me chose to reject me, Jesus taught me that he loves me, even if I have warts in my personality.
I then think about products. For instance, I love this rose face stuff from Avon. I love my “crocs” (knock off’s still I love them). I love our Explorer. I love many other brand name kinds of things. When we find something that we totally love….we talk about how it works for us. My niece loves her “coach” purse AND she is excited when she can pick one up on sale, even better at a thrift store.
Many of us even pick the “neighborhood” we live in because it is the “happening” place. It may have great schools. They remove snow wonderfully quick, stuff like that. We will tell people all about our choices and WHY we love what we buy, where we live etc. When it comes to why we “believe” well, you know….it isn’t polite.
How many of us love to wear tee-shirts with famous people, advertisements a political point of view? At work, we may even be allowed to wear some of that stuff, but we can’t wear our Christian beliefs. It may offend. To be honest…..I see plenty of offensive tee-shirts, like x-rated, a political view I don’t agree with. There are even the “put down” types, like bashing men, women etc.
Jesus….my life is different now. I have peace….wonderful peace…even when life seems to fall apart around me. Jesus seems to tell me, “Janet, I am here and I am not going ANYWHERE.” I want to tell of His wonderful love. I want to share the “hope,” I have. I have “hope” now, before, I did not have hope. I did not feel like my life really mattered. I felt that I was expendable. As people left my life…..I felt like a cast away. If I died, I felt no one really cared and all I did was take up space, valuable space.
That lady at the gym awhile back, the one that told me “I should have been aborted.” Wow, because I had some struggles meant that I should not “be.” Ouch! So Jesus, comes alongside of me, tells me, “Janet, I have something I need you to do.” Then I say, “Me, do you realize, I am annoying, not liked very much?” He says, “Yup, you, I need you to…..” Again I say, “Me? Do you realize that I am not popular, that I am annoying because I repeat myself?” Then Jesus says, “Yup, you are the one.” He has me write a blog, He has me take a friend to Celebrate Recovery. He has me go visit my Landlord because getting out of the house is hard for her. As I learn to “hear and then obey.” My life begins to seem to have a purpose, a reason.
So…..I am not supposed to “tell” because it might “offend.” The struggle I have is…..I have a NEED to tell. It’s like those cool shoes….I want to tell where I got them, how much I paid for them. I can’t “not” tell. It is bubbling up inside of me and for some reason….it can’t stay there.
Do I try to “over” talk my faith? NO! I try to be “me” and tell what I have learned, what I have found. I try hard to do it in my day in, day out way of life, matter of fact. I have also found as I have come to grips with being “strange” that some people will be offended no matter what you do, what you say. So…….I give Jesus my heart and let Him guide me and if in the process someone is offended…..there is not a lot I can do about it. It’s like the people who wear x-rated crud, they have the right, the need to……
May God Bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
“In sickness and in health, in good times and bad, till death do us part.” Have you ever thought upon these words, these often used wedding vows? To me it is a huge statement, a declaration of committed love. I know that Junior and I often will spout them off to each other when we are being tried by the other one. Still, break it down and wow… what a commitment they can be.
I often refer to them in my faith journey with the Lord. Many times walking with Jesus, we tend to want the “good” stuff, not the hard work part of our faith journey. We want Jesus to “give” to us and we’d rather not have to do uncomfortable work, unpopular stuff, tell others how He has worked in our lives.
Jesus commands on his way back to heaven, “to go forth and make disciples of every nation and tribe.” For me, for the longest time, I did not want to offend, to be over ambitious in my “telling.” In the past many years, I’ve grown to love Jesus in a much different way. He has been at my side as I struggled greatly. I felt him there. He’d tell me I was precious as I felt beat up, an unwanted woman. He was there when I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to live financially after my divorce. As people close to me chose to reject me, Jesus taught me that he loves me, even if I have warts in my personality.
I then think about products. For instance, I love this rose face stuff from Avon. I love my “crocs” (knock off’s still I love them). I love our Explorer. I love many other brand name kinds of things. When we find something that we totally love….we talk about how it works for us. My niece loves her “coach” purse AND she is excited when she can pick one up on sale, even better at a thrift store.
Many of us even pick the “neighborhood” we live in because it is the “happening” place. It may have great schools. They remove snow wonderfully quick, stuff like that. We will tell people all about our choices and WHY we love what we buy, where we live etc. When it comes to why we “believe” well, you know….it isn’t polite.
How many of us love to wear tee-shirts with famous people, advertisements a political point of view? At work, we may even be allowed to wear some of that stuff, but we can’t wear our Christian beliefs. It may offend. To be honest…..I see plenty of offensive tee-shirts, like x-rated, a political view I don’t agree with. There are even the “put down” types, like bashing men, women etc.
Jesus….my life is different now. I have peace….wonderful peace…even when life seems to fall apart around me. Jesus seems to tell me, “Janet, I am here and I am not going ANYWHERE.” I want to tell of His wonderful love. I want to share the “hope,” I have. I have “hope” now, before, I did not have hope. I did not feel like my life really mattered. I felt that I was expendable. As people left my life…..I felt like a cast away. If I died, I felt no one really cared and all I did was take up space, valuable space.
That lady at the gym awhile back, the one that told me “I should have been aborted.” Wow, because I had some struggles meant that I should not “be.” Ouch! So Jesus, comes alongside of me, tells me, “Janet, I have something I need you to do.” Then I say, “Me, do you realize, I am annoying, not liked very much?” He says, “Yup, you, I need you to…..” Again I say, “Me? Do you realize that I am not popular, that I am annoying because I repeat myself?” Then Jesus says, “Yup, you are the one.” He has me write a blog, He has me take a friend to Celebrate Recovery. He has me go visit my Landlord because getting out of the house is hard for her. As I learn to “hear and then obey.” My life begins to seem to have a purpose, a reason.
So…..I am not supposed to “tell” because it might “offend.” The struggle I have is…..I have a NEED to tell. It’s like those cool shoes….I want to tell where I got them, how much I paid for them. I can’t “not” tell. It is bubbling up inside of me and for some reason….it can’t stay there.
Do I try to “over” talk my faith? NO! I try to be “me” and tell what I have learned, what I have found. I try hard to do it in my day in, day out way of life, matter of fact. I have also found as I have come to grips with being “strange” that some people will be offended no matter what you do, what you say. So…….I give Jesus my heart and let Him guide me and if in the process someone is offended…..there is not a lot I can do about it. It’s like the people who wear x-rated crud, they have the right, the need to……
May God Bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, April 9, 2010
April 10, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
I’m sure you have heard the statement from women mostly, “I am a skinny person inside a fat body.” I am sort of like that with my house. “I am a neat person within a clutter lifestyle.”
My life has been strange in the aspect of cleanliness. I grew up in a cluttered and often very un-kept house. In my first marriage, I was the messy compared to my husband. After we were divorced, I often heard people at work say, what a neat person I was. That surprised me. I thought I was a slob. At home growing up I was the neat freak. My room was ALWAYS picked up. I tend to pick up after myself well. I do not know how to “manage” those in my household to be neat.
When Junior and I first were married, I pretty much kept the house clean, picked up. In fact I was working from 10-7 which meant I had time to pick up before leaving most mornings. I loved this and to be honest, it was the only time in my life that my home (this one and my previous one) felt “just” right. When Junior retired, he took over a lot of the house work. Right after he retired, I had cancer and to be honest, I have struggled the last several years with my energy level. Chronic Fatigue is something I am exploring with the doctor at this point.
As we have settled in, I have wanted to have “good” habits. I retired with the idea that writing was to be my “part-time” job. I also have dreamt that I would finally have the “picture perfect” clean house.
I quickly got my writing piece started with this blog. I have started writing a book now as well….only lately I’m trying to “do” more house work. I do a few things and Junior does a few. It works for us and he doesn’t really mind.
Through the years, Junior has commented that he likes that I am not overly neat. He lived that in another life and he doesn’t like it. I heard him and I did not hear him. I would go to different friends’ homes and I “loved” their extremely neat homes. It “felt” good way down inside of me. Part of me thought, I’ll give this “gift” to Junior.
I sent an e-mail recently to a friend stating that I did not have the “house work” piece down yet. She questioned me AND the light bulb finally went off in my head. I love
Genesis 3:16…Your desire will be for your husband…..” God was telling Eve that her heart will be for her husband….there was the problem of the great sin….still when I read this, I find myself thinking, “Yes, my heart is for my husband.”
If my heart is for my husband, then I need to give him what he is comfortable with. He is not comfortable with a picture perfect, “house and garden” beautiful house. He DOES not want it and has told me so many times. Our home is not filthy, it is a little cluttered and if we knew we were having guests, we’d be able to make it nice with an hour, maybe two hours of bust our butt’s action.
Now if I let go of thinking I need to “do more” housework, then I am free to write even more and the best part is I can quit feeling guilty that I don’t have a “house and garden” pretty home.
The question I have is……are you thinking about what your husband needs….not only what you want?
May God bless you and keep, make his face shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
I’m sure you have heard the statement from women mostly, “I am a skinny person inside a fat body.” I am sort of like that with my house. “I am a neat person within a clutter lifestyle.”
My life has been strange in the aspect of cleanliness. I grew up in a cluttered and often very un-kept house. In my first marriage, I was the messy compared to my husband. After we were divorced, I often heard people at work say, what a neat person I was. That surprised me. I thought I was a slob. At home growing up I was the neat freak. My room was ALWAYS picked up. I tend to pick up after myself well. I do not know how to “manage” those in my household to be neat.
When Junior and I first were married, I pretty much kept the house clean, picked up. In fact I was working from 10-7 which meant I had time to pick up before leaving most mornings. I loved this and to be honest, it was the only time in my life that my home (this one and my previous one) felt “just” right. When Junior retired, he took over a lot of the house work. Right after he retired, I had cancer and to be honest, I have struggled the last several years with my energy level. Chronic Fatigue is something I am exploring with the doctor at this point.
As we have settled in, I have wanted to have “good” habits. I retired with the idea that writing was to be my “part-time” job. I also have dreamt that I would finally have the “picture perfect” clean house.
I quickly got my writing piece started with this blog. I have started writing a book now as well….only lately I’m trying to “do” more house work. I do a few things and Junior does a few. It works for us and he doesn’t really mind.
Through the years, Junior has commented that he likes that I am not overly neat. He lived that in another life and he doesn’t like it. I heard him and I did not hear him. I would go to different friends’ homes and I “loved” their extremely neat homes. It “felt” good way down inside of me. Part of me thought, I’ll give this “gift” to Junior.
I sent an e-mail recently to a friend stating that I did not have the “house work” piece down yet. She questioned me AND the light bulb finally went off in my head. I love
Genesis 3:16…Your desire will be for your husband…..” God was telling Eve that her heart will be for her husband….there was the problem of the great sin….still when I read this, I find myself thinking, “Yes, my heart is for my husband.”
If my heart is for my husband, then I need to give him what he is comfortable with. He is not comfortable with a picture perfect, “house and garden” beautiful house. He DOES not want it and has told me so many times. Our home is not filthy, it is a little cluttered and if we knew we were having guests, we’d be able to make it nice with an hour, maybe two hours of bust our butt’s action.
Now if I let go of thinking I need to “do more” housework, then I am free to write even more and the best part is I can quit feeling guilty that I don’t have a “house and garden” pretty home.
The question I have is……are you thinking about what your husband needs….not only what you want?
May God bless you and keep, make his face shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, April 2, 2010
April 3, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
Sunday is Easter, my heart is thinking of Jesus. The more I open my heart to Him, the more I find Him to be amazing. As a young person, I felt following Jesus was too much work. It was too hard to do. As I went through my divorce, I wanted to be loved, accepted and wanted. Jesus met me where I was at.
The first thing I learned was that I needed to trust in Jesus and then when I did the Holy Spirit would help me to walk with Jesus. The thing about walking with Jesus is that He “helps” you turn your life around and start to live the way God the Father wants us to. God knows we are sinful and fallen and understands that. For me that has been the most wonderful lesson.
The cross is for me where I began to “get it.” Until I looked deeply at the cross, I tended to trivialize the gift of salvation and redemption. In my prayer time and I try very hard to make prayer time each day. For me I pray as I go to sleep, wake up in the night and finish before getting out of bed. It works for me. Some people pray as they drive. We each have to find that right time. Anyway in my prayer time I follow a format, say different words each day, use the same format. I have found A.C.T.S.S. works for me.
Right off with A.C.T.S.S. is “Accolades,” I start off praising God. As I have learned to praise God, I tend to want to please Him and make Him the center of my heart. Part of the praises is thanking Jesus and the Holy Spirit. God has had me look at the cross and what our Lord went through. The more I go through Jesus’ final hours, the more I see the need for a Savior, that sin is ugly to God and that Jesus is truly my Redeemer.
The more I go through the cross, the more I realize there is a “hell.” Hell is a scary, scary place and I don’t want ANYONE to go there. There will be a point that we ALL have to choose and that part is more and more the mission I have in life. I am desperately trying to open eyes and hearts to Jesus.
Many people find Christians to be offensive. They also are offended that Jesus is the only way to heaven. The other day I “googled” the Bible, to find out if it is indeed the oldest religious book AND it is. I’ve also learned through the years that the Bible translation is about 98% accurate from the original texts. That is better than Shakespeare, Aristotle and many other writers. These facts tend to make me want to believe even more so. I believe for that high rate of accuracy then that God has been the one to see it through thousands of years AND still make it relevant to us today.
I walked a good portion of my life as I chose to. I always believed that God existed; even that Jesus lived on earth. The Holy Spirit, I’ve only recently begun to understand. Anyway, I did not “get” being born again, giving my heart to Jesus. As I have learned to pray, read my Bible etc., I have learned that it is important to make a confession of faith. I needed to say to myself and out loud that Jesus is my Savior. As I do that I find myself growing in my faith. My faith cannot be “a, to myself” act. It needs to be confessed publically. I also needed to face the fact….I am a sinner, no matter how good I tried to be…I am still a sinner.
One of the most freeing moments came when I started to confess my sins. As I confessed them…I found myself for the first time in my life a freedom. This freedom is astounding. I started to let go of a lifetime of pain, bitterness etc. As I asked God to forgive me, I pray a general list, “Lord forgive me and help me to walk away from, pride, arrogance, impatience, intolerance, greed, envy, bitterness, jealousy, un-forgiveness, anger, fear and anxiety. I will also lift up situations as they arise where I need help. Along with this I have started asking God to teach me to love those I find difficult to love. I even list the people by name…this helps me so very much.
Another wonderful gift with A.C.T.S.S. is being thankful. When I begin to see what I do have….Wow…life isn’t so awful. Do I have moments yes I do. Somehow when I go to God though, He helps me face life. I begin to see even my toothbrush is a gift from God. My gift of writing is a gift from God.
As we felt led to move to VA, I often wondered….”Why Lord.” God doesn’t always reveal the “why” right away and sometimes you many never know. As we have settled here in VA though, my spirit has calmed down. I am where I need to be and I know it. God knows what we need and what we need to do. So again I learn to trust.
Each day I also lift up people for God to be with. I pray for our children, grandchildren, siblings, their children, grandchildren, friends, our neighbors, my old co-workers and I have a list of sick people I pray for as well. I also pray as we travel, if I see an accident, then I pray for the people involved in it and the emergency workers as well.
At this point you may wonder….what is A.C.T.S.S. It is accolades, confession, thanksgiving, service and supplication. This prayer format has had such a healing affect in my life. I have let go of a lot of junk and I am moving forward in my life now. I have had a couple of times where I needed an assist, a talk with a Minister for a few sessions. I no longer need month in and month out, in counseling like I did at one point in my life.
The questions comes to me again…..Do you know Jesus? Is He your Savior? Is it time?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
Sunday is Easter, my heart is thinking of Jesus. The more I open my heart to Him, the more I find Him to be amazing. As a young person, I felt following Jesus was too much work. It was too hard to do. As I went through my divorce, I wanted to be loved, accepted and wanted. Jesus met me where I was at.
The first thing I learned was that I needed to trust in Jesus and then when I did the Holy Spirit would help me to walk with Jesus. The thing about walking with Jesus is that He “helps” you turn your life around and start to live the way God the Father wants us to. God knows we are sinful and fallen and understands that. For me that has been the most wonderful lesson.
The cross is for me where I began to “get it.” Until I looked deeply at the cross, I tended to trivialize the gift of salvation and redemption. In my prayer time and I try very hard to make prayer time each day. For me I pray as I go to sleep, wake up in the night and finish before getting out of bed. It works for me. Some people pray as they drive. We each have to find that right time. Anyway in my prayer time I follow a format, say different words each day, use the same format. I have found A.C.T.S.S. works for me.
Right off with A.C.T.S.S. is “Accolades,” I start off praising God. As I have learned to praise God, I tend to want to please Him and make Him the center of my heart. Part of the praises is thanking Jesus and the Holy Spirit. God has had me look at the cross and what our Lord went through. The more I go through Jesus’ final hours, the more I see the need for a Savior, that sin is ugly to God and that Jesus is truly my Redeemer.
The more I go through the cross, the more I realize there is a “hell.” Hell is a scary, scary place and I don’t want ANYONE to go there. There will be a point that we ALL have to choose and that part is more and more the mission I have in life. I am desperately trying to open eyes and hearts to Jesus.
Many people find Christians to be offensive. They also are offended that Jesus is the only way to heaven. The other day I “googled” the Bible, to find out if it is indeed the oldest religious book AND it is. I’ve also learned through the years that the Bible translation is about 98% accurate from the original texts. That is better than Shakespeare, Aristotle and many other writers. These facts tend to make me want to believe even more so. I believe for that high rate of accuracy then that God has been the one to see it through thousands of years AND still make it relevant to us today.
I walked a good portion of my life as I chose to. I always believed that God existed; even that Jesus lived on earth. The Holy Spirit, I’ve only recently begun to understand. Anyway, I did not “get” being born again, giving my heart to Jesus. As I have learned to pray, read my Bible etc., I have learned that it is important to make a confession of faith. I needed to say to myself and out loud that Jesus is my Savior. As I do that I find myself growing in my faith. My faith cannot be “a, to myself” act. It needs to be confessed publically. I also needed to face the fact….I am a sinner, no matter how good I tried to be…I am still a sinner.
One of the most freeing moments came when I started to confess my sins. As I confessed them…I found myself for the first time in my life a freedom. This freedom is astounding. I started to let go of a lifetime of pain, bitterness etc. As I asked God to forgive me, I pray a general list, “Lord forgive me and help me to walk away from, pride, arrogance, impatience, intolerance, greed, envy, bitterness, jealousy, un-forgiveness, anger, fear and anxiety. I will also lift up situations as they arise where I need help. Along with this I have started asking God to teach me to love those I find difficult to love. I even list the people by name…this helps me so very much.
Another wonderful gift with A.C.T.S.S. is being thankful. When I begin to see what I do have….Wow…life isn’t so awful. Do I have moments yes I do. Somehow when I go to God though, He helps me face life. I begin to see even my toothbrush is a gift from God. My gift of writing is a gift from God.
As we felt led to move to VA, I often wondered….”Why Lord.” God doesn’t always reveal the “why” right away and sometimes you many never know. As we have settled here in VA though, my spirit has calmed down. I am where I need to be and I know it. God knows what we need and what we need to do. So again I learn to trust.
Each day I also lift up people for God to be with. I pray for our children, grandchildren, siblings, their children, grandchildren, friends, our neighbors, my old co-workers and I have a list of sick people I pray for as well. I also pray as we travel, if I see an accident, then I pray for the people involved in it and the emergency workers as well.
At this point you may wonder….what is A.C.T.S.S. It is accolades, confession, thanksgiving, service and supplication. This prayer format has had such a healing affect in my life. I have let go of a lot of junk and I am moving forward in my life now. I have had a couple of times where I needed an assist, a talk with a Minister for a few sessions. I no longer need month in and month out, in counseling like I did at one point in my life.
The questions comes to me again…..Do you know Jesus? Is He your Savior? Is it time?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, March 26, 2010
March 27, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
I can still hear my Parents telling me….”Janet, you are the oldest, you must set the example.” My Dad would also tell me, “You are not to blemish the Rogers name.” Many times my parents would leave and I was in charge. It is hard to be in charge when you are barely older than those you are to be in charge of. It is hard to be in charge when you are smaller physically than those you are in charge of as well. I am 11 months older than my sister and two years and four days older than our brother.
One time my parents left for the evening. I was to have my sister come in and get ready for bed while they were gone. She did not want to come in. She stood at the door and kept talking – outside. I told her, I yelled at her and then in frustration, I slammed my fist on the door. I wasn’t looking and put it through the window…had to have stitches.
One verse I read is, Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” This Scripture often speaks volumes to me. We are to imitate God. We are to love as God loves us. We are to be an example to an unbelieving world.
My example at home was not always clear. When I acted up, I usually got slapped, sometimes shoved down and slapped in the face with a knee in my chest. I was to set the example, the example I got was violent. If violence was done to me….I then used violence. My Dad would lecture me to no end about my violent temper and he never seemed to see that I learned my violence from him.
Another lesson I was given by my Dad was, “You are who you hang out with.” My Dad told me he did not want me to hang out at the creek. “Bad” kids did real bad stuff down at the creek. What “bad” was I am not sure, but I remember not going to the creek and hanging out. I also remember the bathrooms in high school. That’s where the smokers hung out. Kids who were smoking pot and doing drugs hung out there too. I was terrified of the bathrooms. I held my urge to go, till I went home, so I wouldn’t be in the bathroom. I was sure I’d be caught, get into trouble and a phobia about being bad was bred into me. I still struggle with being bad. I drive Junior crazy because I don’t want to get into trouble.
We were going to the bank on a Saturday and the bank was closed. He turned into the driveway the wrong way. In my head I could hear the sirens and see us getting a ticket. Junior was irritated with me. I was scared. My phobias are well ingrained at this point.
My sister and brother often called me “Goody two shoes.” I irritated them because of my compulsion to not be bad. I didn’t want to be bad and hopefully I would be saved from a beating. I did not like being hit, beat or making my parents upset.
Still, there was some truth to what Dad taught me. When I had kids, I tried desperately to set the example. I remember I wanted them to wear a hat in the winter. They wouldn’t, so I started to wear a hat. They then started to wear their hat without the struggle. Set the example…it worked.
Next I think about “We are who we hang out with.” That lesson is ingrained in me too. If I hung out with kids who stole, cheated, then more than likely, I would soon give into that type of behavior. In high school I met a guy and dated him. He was using drugs. He appealed to me. He had the nerve to go against the grain. I remember being at his house one day and he yelled at his mother…used the “F” word. Boy, if I had done that, I would have had my face slapped, then the other parent would have torn into me.
Within a couple of years of dating this guy…I tried drugs. I drank. I soon was doing some not “good” for me behavior. I even was getting sexually involved. I felt so grown up. When we married, I continued on for a while. I got pregnant and then my thinking was, if they see me using what I considered not bad drugs, would they then think heroin would be ok? That was my thinking. I stopped smoking pot. I wanted to “set” the example. I also found that when I used drugs, drank too much that I was doing stuff I didn’t like. I would not have done these things if I were straight. I didn’t like “me” that way. I gave up a lot of that behavior because I didn’t like the way it felt.
I never finished college. I did get a couple of years in, didn’t finish. As I entered the work force I found that many college educated people liked me. I always found that weird. Again, I began to see “we are who we hang out with.”
Junior was a real “bad” guy. He would have scared me had I known him in the day. As he began his faith journey, he changed his behavior. He didn’t care if he killed, beat someone up etc. Now, Junior is so tender, caring. He can have a gruff way of talking, but he is a tender hearted man, I know, I see it in action all the time. As Junior walked more with Jesus, his friends began to change. He now has very good friends, who respect him, love him. He is amazing. One of these days, I may write out his life story, his changes are that astounding.
In business, I remember being told that it was important to be seen with the “right” people. The “right” people were the ones who influenced the boss, etc. I decided to be the best I could be. As I developed my faith, I wanted to “work” as onto the Lord. I wanted God to be proud of me. I tried not to bring home pens, rubber bands etc. I tried to show up to work when I was to be there, not calling off all the time. At this point in my life, my goal is to make God proud of me.
My question is…..who are you hanging out with….are they good examples….are YOU a good example.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
I can still hear my Parents telling me….”Janet, you are the oldest, you must set the example.” My Dad would also tell me, “You are not to blemish the Rogers name.” Many times my parents would leave and I was in charge. It is hard to be in charge when you are barely older than those you are to be in charge of. It is hard to be in charge when you are smaller physically than those you are in charge of as well. I am 11 months older than my sister and two years and four days older than our brother.
One time my parents left for the evening. I was to have my sister come in and get ready for bed while they were gone. She did not want to come in. She stood at the door and kept talking – outside. I told her, I yelled at her and then in frustration, I slammed my fist on the door. I wasn’t looking and put it through the window…had to have stitches.
One verse I read is, Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” This Scripture often speaks volumes to me. We are to imitate God. We are to love as God loves us. We are to be an example to an unbelieving world.
My example at home was not always clear. When I acted up, I usually got slapped, sometimes shoved down and slapped in the face with a knee in my chest. I was to set the example, the example I got was violent. If violence was done to me….I then used violence. My Dad would lecture me to no end about my violent temper and he never seemed to see that I learned my violence from him.
Another lesson I was given by my Dad was, “You are who you hang out with.” My Dad told me he did not want me to hang out at the creek. “Bad” kids did real bad stuff down at the creek. What “bad” was I am not sure, but I remember not going to the creek and hanging out. I also remember the bathrooms in high school. That’s where the smokers hung out. Kids who were smoking pot and doing drugs hung out there too. I was terrified of the bathrooms. I held my urge to go, till I went home, so I wouldn’t be in the bathroom. I was sure I’d be caught, get into trouble and a phobia about being bad was bred into me. I still struggle with being bad. I drive Junior crazy because I don’t want to get into trouble.
We were going to the bank on a Saturday and the bank was closed. He turned into the driveway the wrong way. In my head I could hear the sirens and see us getting a ticket. Junior was irritated with me. I was scared. My phobias are well ingrained at this point.
My sister and brother often called me “Goody two shoes.” I irritated them because of my compulsion to not be bad. I didn’t want to be bad and hopefully I would be saved from a beating. I did not like being hit, beat or making my parents upset.
Still, there was some truth to what Dad taught me. When I had kids, I tried desperately to set the example. I remember I wanted them to wear a hat in the winter. They wouldn’t, so I started to wear a hat. They then started to wear their hat without the struggle. Set the example…it worked.
Next I think about “We are who we hang out with.” That lesson is ingrained in me too. If I hung out with kids who stole, cheated, then more than likely, I would soon give into that type of behavior. In high school I met a guy and dated him. He was using drugs. He appealed to me. He had the nerve to go against the grain. I remember being at his house one day and he yelled at his mother…used the “F” word. Boy, if I had done that, I would have had my face slapped, then the other parent would have torn into me.
Within a couple of years of dating this guy…I tried drugs. I drank. I soon was doing some not “good” for me behavior. I even was getting sexually involved. I felt so grown up. When we married, I continued on for a while. I got pregnant and then my thinking was, if they see me using what I considered not bad drugs, would they then think heroin would be ok? That was my thinking. I stopped smoking pot. I wanted to “set” the example. I also found that when I used drugs, drank too much that I was doing stuff I didn’t like. I would not have done these things if I were straight. I didn’t like “me” that way. I gave up a lot of that behavior because I didn’t like the way it felt.
I never finished college. I did get a couple of years in, didn’t finish. As I entered the work force I found that many college educated people liked me. I always found that weird. Again, I began to see “we are who we hang out with.”
Junior was a real “bad” guy. He would have scared me had I known him in the day. As he began his faith journey, he changed his behavior. He didn’t care if he killed, beat someone up etc. Now, Junior is so tender, caring. He can have a gruff way of talking, but he is a tender hearted man, I know, I see it in action all the time. As Junior walked more with Jesus, his friends began to change. He now has very good friends, who respect him, love him. He is amazing. One of these days, I may write out his life story, his changes are that astounding.
In business, I remember being told that it was important to be seen with the “right” people. The “right” people were the ones who influenced the boss, etc. I decided to be the best I could be. As I developed my faith, I wanted to “work” as onto the Lord. I wanted God to be proud of me. I tried not to bring home pens, rubber bands etc. I tried to show up to work when I was to be there, not calling off all the time. At this point in my life, my goal is to make God proud of me.
My question is…..who are you hanging out with….are they good examples….are YOU a good example.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Saturday, March 20, 2010
March 20, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
Each year as I read through the Bible I find myself intrigued with the creation of man and woman. Adam is so excited when God creates woman from his rib he declares, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man.” A little later God tells Eve, “Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.”- Which does not mean he can be mean, cruel etc. (Genesis 2:23 and Genesis 3:16). Right from the start, man and woman were created to be together, married if you will.
I remember early in my first marriage being told that marriage should be 50-50 and as long as one of you is working on it, it was going to work. As life has gone on, I find that marriage needs to be worked on by both husband and wife. The 50-50 rule doesn’t always work that way either. It sounds good; I haven’t seen where these are true.
I do find that relationships tend to need both parties to work to make the relationship go. It doesn’t matter if it is marriage, parent – child or friendships. Two people need to be involved to make the relationship move forward.
I used to have this dream….I am climbing a mountain. I have a rope tied to my waist and behind me a man is tied to the rope and he is in a wheel chair. I would climb up a ways, turn around and lift the rope with the man and his wheel chair. It was a long, tedious, treacherous journey. I never felt like I moved forward. I have had relationships that have felt like that dream. One of us was working, pulling up the other and….the relationship never really moved forward.
I need to say it again. It takes two to make a relationship work. One cannot love for the both of them; one cannot make both people involved love each other. It will not work.
I have also found that when a relationship splits up, many times both people believe that they each did all they could to make it work. Divorce Recovery helped me see that we both tend to think we did all we could to make the relationship work. Whichever party you talk with, will tell you they did all they could. Divorce Recovery also taught us to look at “our” part in the breakup of the marriage. I have found that people who go on to two, three, four marriages often times will not look at the fact that they themselves had fault in these relationships.
One of the things I found in my own life is that I allowed people to do things. I needed to say “no” more often. I needed to say I don’t like this. I wanted to please and then I became hurt, angry etc because I wouldn’t be up front about an issue. My last counselor taught me to not talk in round-abouts. He taught me to say what I was thinking, honestly and gently.
I have found that if two people do not Both stay in touch, soon that relationship tends to disintegrate. I find people in my own life who do not meet me part way are difficult for me to stay connected to. I have had people who I call and they aren’t available. Yes sometimes we aren’t, I’m talking about when it happens a lot next to all the time type of thing. That even happens with letters and such. If you don’t ever get a response, then it is hard to stay connected. It gets to a point that I don’t know their likes and dislikes. I find it harder and harder to “know” them. Then I find it harder and harder to “talk” with them. Soon I find that this relationship is now a thing of the past.
I have also found that relationships also need to have a measure of “grace.” We all have our eccentric ways. We all can be difficult to deal with. Still, the relationships I have seen that work, seem to accept that fact. It isn’t good to allow someone to abuse us. I continue to learn that abuse is not healthy and what abuse is. Still who among us is perfect?
For me, in my marriage to Junior, I have been given a prayer by God. It goes something like this: “Lord, teach me to be the wife, friend, and lover and companion my husband needs. Open my eyes and heart to him. Teach me to honor and respect him, to be sensitive to him (big strong muscles, soft tender heart) and teach me to seek his highest good.” As the years have gone on, I find that this prayer keeps me tuned into my husband. As Junior has done some things that I found hard to deal with, God began to soften my heart to him. As I mention often, it helped with the “curb side shopping” phase, with Junior’s need to have an opinion and share it. I also find times where I need to pray for Junior, his back, his “post-traumatic stress struggles or even if we move etc.
Prayer also helps me with family and friends. Sometimes I pray for needs. Sometimes I pray for the ability to see past their hard for “me” to understand ways. As I continue to pray, I find that I love people regardless whether they like me or not. That is a blessing too. Lately I have found that I have needed to reconnect with people who haven’t been in my life for some time. Because I have prayed for them, I have been able to reconnect and I haven’t been bitter or angry. At one point in my life….I would not have been able to reconnect without a lot of distress.
As I close, I’d like to ask…..”Is there someone in your life you need to accept….forgive?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
Each year as I read through the Bible I find myself intrigued with the creation of man and woman. Adam is so excited when God creates woman from his rib he declares, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man.” A little later God tells Eve, “Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.”- Which does not mean he can be mean, cruel etc. (Genesis 2:23 and Genesis 3:16). Right from the start, man and woman were created to be together, married if you will.
I remember early in my first marriage being told that marriage should be 50-50 and as long as one of you is working on it, it was going to work. As life has gone on, I find that marriage needs to be worked on by both husband and wife. The 50-50 rule doesn’t always work that way either. It sounds good; I haven’t seen where these are true.
I do find that relationships tend to need both parties to work to make the relationship go. It doesn’t matter if it is marriage, parent – child or friendships. Two people need to be involved to make the relationship move forward.
I used to have this dream….I am climbing a mountain. I have a rope tied to my waist and behind me a man is tied to the rope and he is in a wheel chair. I would climb up a ways, turn around and lift the rope with the man and his wheel chair. It was a long, tedious, treacherous journey. I never felt like I moved forward. I have had relationships that have felt like that dream. One of us was working, pulling up the other and….the relationship never really moved forward.
I need to say it again. It takes two to make a relationship work. One cannot love for the both of them; one cannot make both people involved love each other. It will not work.
I have also found that when a relationship splits up, many times both people believe that they each did all they could to make it work. Divorce Recovery helped me see that we both tend to think we did all we could to make the relationship work. Whichever party you talk with, will tell you they did all they could. Divorce Recovery also taught us to look at “our” part in the breakup of the marriage. I have found that people who go on to two, three, four marriages often times will not look at the fact that they themselves had fault in these relationships.
One of the things I found in my own life is that I allowed people to do things. I needed to say “no” more often. I needed to say I don’t like this. I wanted to please and then I became hurt, angry etc because I wouldn’t be up front about an issue. My last counselor taught me to not talk in round-abouts. He taught me to say what I was thinking, honestly and gently.
I have found that if two people do not Both stay in touch, soon that relationship tends to disintegrate. I find people in my own life who do not meet me part way are difficult for me to stay connected to. I have had people who I call and they aren’t available. Yes sometimes we aren’t, I’m talking about when it happens a lot next to all the time type of thing. That even happens with letters and such. If you don’t ever get a response, then it is hard to stay connected. It gets to a point that I don’t know their likes and dislikes. I find it harder and harder to “know” them. Then I find it harder and harder to “talk” with them. Soon I find that this relationship is now a thing of the past.
I have also found that relationships also need to have a measure of “grace.” We all have our eccentric ways. We all can be difficult to deal with. Still, the relationships I have seen that work, seem to accept that fact. It isn’t good to allow someone to abuse us. I continue to learn that abuse is not healthy and what abuse is. Still who among us is perfect?
For me, in my marriage to Junior, I have been given a prayer by God. It goes something like this: “Lord, teach me to be the wife, friend, and lover and companion my husband needs. Open my eyes and heart to him. Teach me to honor and respect him, to be sensitive to him (big strong muscles, soft tender heart) and teach me to seek his highest good.” As the years have gone on, I find that this prayer keeps me tuned into my husband. As Junior has done some things that I found hard to deal with, God began to soften my heart to him. As I mention often, it helped with the “curb side shopping” phase, with Junior’s need to have an opinion and share it. I also find times where I need to pray for Junior, his back, his “post-traumatic stress struggles or even if we move etc.
Prayer also helps me with family and friends. Sometimes I pray for needs. Sometimes I pray for the ability to see past their hard for “me” to understand ways. As I continue to pray, I find that I love people regardless whether they like me or not. That is a blessing too. Lately I have found that I have needed to reconnect with people who haven’t been in my life for some time. Because I have prayed for them, I have been able to reconnect and I haven’t been bitter or angry. At one point in my life….I would not have been able to reconnect without a lot of distress.
As I close, I’d like to ask…..”Is there someone in your life you need to accept….forgive?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
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