January 14 2013
Greetings My Friend,
As this year begins I find myself reading the Bible through for another year. I read
a few devotions from on line, I read my Sunday school study and find ways to keep learning
and growing in God's Word.
My brain feels challanged, I find that the more I immerse myself in God's life that the things
of this world aren't as important as they once were. I no longer need status symbols to show my
worth because God gives me my worth and frankly that feels real nice.
Junior has always been a thrift store shopper. As a young person he was so poor that having meat
was a luxuary. He learned to get by with what he had. As I married Junior I began to learn how
to thrift store shop and these days a good portion of my clothes come from thrift stores. We even
find furniture and the like to use within our home.
I am also a dollar store shopper these days. Malls aren't close by so the dollar store is my source
of shopping many days. I love walking up to the counter will an arm load of stuff and paying only $20
for it all. It is fun.
We have what we need in life. At our age we have collected a home's worth of stuff plus. We truly don't
need much like when we were younger and supporting our family. Once we get something these days it may
be months or years before we need that thing again. I still like to shop from time to time though so these
cheaper shopping outlets will feed the need to shop urge. It works.
The lesson I keep learning in learning how to wear slightly used clothes is that a name brand is only so
good for so long and then it is cast off. By learning to wear thrift store clothes I find myself walking
away from the need to impress. It has been a sobering lesson at this point though I don't mind.
On my own I think I would have found Junior to be a bit too much. With my prayers asking God to teach me
to be the woman Junior needs and a major part of my prayer is "open my eyes and heart to Junior" I would
have grown tired of this man. Each time God reveals Junior's heart to me though I find myself falling in
love with Junior. I find I don't really care if he seems strange to the people around me. I know Junior
only wants what God wants and my heart tends to re-foucus on Junior in a deeper way.
I have always been concerned with my looks and these days I find that if I am beautiful to Junior that is
truly all I care about. Junior's likes in women are older than my own likes. He is older and I am 7 years
younger so I tend to be more like a sixties child where he is more of a 50's child. As I continue to seek
Junior's best I tend to want to be what he likes in looks more than what I want. I am still me don't get
me wrong. Polishing my nails often is too tedious and I can't commit to it. Curling my hair is too much
work and I can't. I can get a perm with partialy curly hair and all I do is wash and wear it....that I can
give to Junior.He likes it and I am able to do this.
So more and more I find contentment in God and God teaches me what I truly need and in that life is full and
rich. Yup I like that.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Saturday, January 11, 2014
January 11 2014
January 11 2014
Greetings My Friend,
The ear infection is leaving me. My ear is still plugged and it is hard to hear but it is
better now than it has been. That is a relief. I am not so tired either so once more I begin to enter into
the day doing housework, cooking and the like. That feels nice as well.
Junior is working on a way for Alex our 18 year old cat to stay up out of the way of the dogs.
He is getting to where he won't even come down from his table to use his cat box....Junior
has started feeding him on his table and now Junior is bringing his cat box near him. I love
that Junior cares that much for my/our pets. Alex came to the marriage along with me.
Alex has been my comfort through divorce, cancer, and so much more. I love him like no
tomorrow. We are more distant these days due to the dog factor but I walk by and love on
him from time to time. My heart still loves this guy.
The two little dogs are now occupying my days. They are always near me or Junior but me more
so because I sit so much. Daisy won't go out the doggie door for a bathroom call but after
her call she comes in the doggie door. Silly girl. I find that letting her out is good for
me and I continue to need to care for her.
When I get up each morning she is so excited to see me. Junior gets up before I do and he takes
Daisy with him. Daisy will bark at the least sound if she stays with me so Junior gets her up
with him. When I do come out of the bedroom she is so excited to see me that I carry her around
for a few minutes, put eye drops in her eyes and such. When I settle down to do my computer time
both girls come to be near me. I feel loved and wanted and a whole host of other things.
As I continue on with this journey of faith I find even these little pet moments are a gift from
God. I can feel a God hug often when they are licking me or excited to see me. Sometimes I feel a
God hug when B is over for a few days and she makes me food to eat. I feel a God hug when Junior
seems extra touched by me when I've done something of no account. His smile melts my heart.
This year for Christmas my son called me first. I got up late due to my ear infection and I had not
called him yet. He called me and it felt great. He hung up and called back a few times as his son
kept asking him questions. It was precious.
Again I felt God's hand on me. As I kept taking my children to God through the years after the divorce
I began to wonder if they'd ever get over our divorce. The day has come and my son seems to understand
at last. My daughter is pulling away from not only me but the whole family. I hurt for her. I long to
comfort her and she pushes all of us away. So I pray, pray some more and in that I begin to let it be.
I sense this woman is hurt beyond measure. I hurt that she hurts so much. Still if she won't reach back
to me there isn't much I can do. I still take her to prayer though and that makes me feel like I am
touching my precious daughter.
It is God who continues to give me my sense of life. I feel His direction and take it. I feel His love
and find myself grateful. So often these days I find myself in thanfullness on and off throughout the
day. That feels awesome and again I learn to give "all" of me to God. The more I can the more life
tends to feel right and good.
Lately I feel thankfullness is as important as confessing my sins. I find giving God praise all day
throughout the day to be "good and right". Again I reflect on my ACTSS prayer format and each step
tends to find me growing closer to God.
As I continue on this faith journey I find moments that are real hard but with God walking beside me
through each struggle I find it ok. As my struggle comes to an end I find I am grateful for the lesson
learned. So I get up each day and begin my faith walk over.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
The ear infection is leaving me. My ear is still plugged and it is hard to hear but it is
better now than it has been. That is a relief. I am not so tired either so once more I begin to enter into
the day doing housework, cooking and the like. That feels nice as well.
Junior is working on a way for Alex our 18 year old cat to stay up out of the way of the dogs.
He is getting to where he won't even come down from his table to use his cat box....Junior
has started feeding him on his table and now Junior is bringing his cat box near him. I love
that Junior cares that much for my/our pets. Alex came to the marriage along with me.
Alex has been my comfort through divorce, cancer, and so much more. I love him like no
tomorrow. We are more distant these days due to the dog factor but I walk by and love on
him from time to time. My heart still loves this guy.
The two little dogs are now occupying my days. They are always near me or Junior but me more
so because I sit so much. Daisy won't go out the doggie door for a bathroom call but after
her call she comes in the doggie door. Silly girl. I find that letting her out is good for
me and I continue to need to care for her.
When I get up each morning she is so excited to see me. Junior gets up before I do and he takes
Daisy with him. Daisy will bark at the least sound if she stays with me so Junior gets her up
with him. When I do come out of the bedroom she is so excited to see me that I carry her around
for a few minutes, put eye drops in her eyes and such. When I settle down to do my computer time
both girls come to be near me. I feel loved and wanted and a whole host of other things.
As I continue on with this journey of faith I find even these little pet moments are a gift from
God. I can feel a God hug often when they are licking me or excited to see me. Sometimes I feel a
God hug when B is over for a few days and she makes me food to eat. I feel a God hug when Junior
seems extra touched by me when I've done something of no account. His smile melts my heart.
This year for Christmas my son called me first. I got up late due to my ear infection and I had not
called him yet. He called me and it felt great. He hung up and called back a few times as his son
kept asking him questions. It was precious.
Again I felt God's hand on me. As I kept taking my children to God through the years after the divorce
I began to wonder if they'd ever get over our divorce. The day has come and my son seems to understand
at last. My daughter is pulling away from not only me but the whole family. I hurt for her. I long to
comfort her and she pushes all of us away. So I pray, pray some more and in that I begin to let it be.
I sense this woman is hurt beyond measure. I hurt that she hurts so much. Still if she won't reach back
to me there isn't much I can do. I still take her to prayer though and that makes me feel like I am
touching my precious daughter.
It is God who continues to give me my sense of life. I feel His direction and take it. I feel His love
and find myself grateful. So often these days I find myself in thanfullness on and off throughout the
day. That feels awesome and again I learn to give "all" of me to God. The more I can the more life
tends to feel right and good.
Lately I feel thankfullness is as important as confessing my sins. I find giving God praise all day
throughout the day to be "good and right". Again I reflect on my ACTSS prayer format and each step
tends to find me growing closer to God.
As I continue on this faith journey I find moments that are real hard but with God walking beside me
through each struggle I find it ok. As my struggle comes to an end I find I am grateful for the lesson
learned. So I get up each day and begin my faith walk over.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Thursday, January 9, 2014
January 9 2014
January 14 2013
Greetings My Friend,
As this year begins I find myself reading the Bible through for another year. I read
a few devotions from on line, I read my Sunday school study and find ways to keep learning
and growing in God's Word.
My brain feels challanged, I find that the more I immerse myself in God's life that the things
of this world aren't as important as they once were. I no longer need status symbols to show my
worth because God gives me my worth and frankly that feels real nice.
Junior has always been a thrift store shopper. As a young person he was so poor that having meat
was a luxuary. He learned to get by with what he had. As I married Junior I began to learn how
to thrift store shop and these days a good portion of my clothes come from thrift stores. We even
find furniture and the like to use within our home.
I am also a dollar store shopper these days. Malls aren't close by so the dollar store is my source
of shopping many days. I love walking up to the counter will an arm load of stuff and paying only $20
for it all. It is fun.
We have what we need in life. At our age we have collected a home's worth of stuff plus. We truly don't
need much like when we were younger and supporting our family. Once we get something these days it may
be months or years before we need that thing again. I still like to shop from time to time though so these
cheaper shopping outlets will feed the need to shop urge. It works.
The lesson I keep learning in learning how to wear slightly used clothes is that a name brand is only so
good for so long and then it is cast off. By learning to wear thrift store clothes I find myself walking
away from the need to impress. It has been a sobering lesson at this point though I don't mind.
On my own I think I would have found Junior to be a bit too much. With my prayers asking God to teach me
to be the woman Junior needs and a major part of my prayer is "open my eyes and heart to Junior" I would
have grown tired of this man. Each time God reveals Junior's heart to me though I find myself falling in
love with Junior. I find I don't really care if he seems strange to the people around me. I know Junior
only wants what God wants and my heart tends to re-foucus on Junior in a deeper way.
I have always been concerned with my looks and these days I find that if I am beautiful to Junior that is
truly all I care about. Junior's likes in women are older than my own likes. He is older and I am 7 years
younger so I tend to be more like a sixties child where he is more of a 50's child. As I continue to seek
Junior's best I tend to want to be what he likes in looks more than what I want. I am still me don't get
me wrong. Polishing my nails often is too tedious and I can't commit to it. Curling my hair is too much
work and I can't. I can get a perm with partialy curly hair and all I do is wash and wear it....that I can
give to Junior.He likes it and I am able to do this.
So more and more I find contentment in God and God teaches me what I truly need and in that life is full and
rich. Yup I like that.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
As this year begins I find myself reading the Bible through for another year. I read
a few devotions from on line, I read my Sunday school study and find ways to keep learning
and growing in God's Word.
My brain feels challanged, I find that the more I immerse myself in God's life that the things
of this world aren't as important as they once were. I no longer need status symbols to show my
worth because God gives me my worth and frankly that feels real nice.
Junior has always been a thrift store shopper. As a young person he was so poor that having meat
was a luxuary. He learned to get by with what he had. As I married Junior I began to learn how
to thrift store shop and these days a good portion of my clothes come from thrift stores. We even
find furniture and the like to use within our home.
I am also a dollar store shopper these days. Malls aren't close by so the dollar store is my source
of shopping many days. I love walking up to the counter will an arm load of stuff and paying only $20
for it all. It is fun.
We have what we need in life. At our age we have collected a home's worth of stuff plus. We truly don't
need much like when we were younger and supporting our family. Once we get something these days it may
be months or years before we need that thing again. I still like to shop from time to time though so these
cheaper shopping outlets will feed the need to shop urge. It works.
The lesson I keep learning in learning how to wear slightly used clothes is that a name brand is only so
good for so long and then it is cast off. By learning to wear thrift store clothes I find myself walking
away from the need to impress. It has been a sobering lesson at this point though I don't mind.
On my own I think I would have found Junior to be a bit too much. With my prayers asking God to teach me
to be the woman Junior needs and a major part of my prayer is "open my eyes and heart to Junior" I would
have grown tired of this man. Each time God reveals Junior's heart to me though I find myself falling in
love with Junior. I find I don't really care if he seems strange to the people around me. I know Junior
only wants what God wants and my heart tends to re-foucus on Junior in a deeper way.
I have always been concerned with my looks and these days I find that if I am beautiful to Junior that is
truly all I care about. Junior's likes in women are older than my own likes. He is older and I am 7 years
younger so I tend to be more like a sixties child where he is more of a 50's child. As I continue to seek
Junior's best I tend to want to be what he likes in looks more than what I want. I am still me don't get
me wrong. Polishing my nails often is too tedious and I can't commit to it. Curling my hair is too much
work and I can't. I can get a perm with partialy curly hair and all I do is wash and wear it....that I can
give to Junior.He likes it and I am able to do this.
So more and more I find contentment in God and God teaches me what I truly need and in that life is full and
rich. Yup I like that.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
January 7 2014
January 7 2013
Greetings My Friend,
My girls are near me as I sit in my recliner and write. This is one of those sweet
moments for me. Junior went to church without me since it was 11:00 before my eyes
saw the light of day.....2 am was the time I finally fell asleep. It is what it is.
I soak in the quietness and reval in it. I long for a new computer that won't die within
a couple of weeks of getting it. We are researching a better brand and hopefully soon it
will come to pass. I miss my editing buttons.
We had another blast of warm weather and of course I relished it. It is now getting colder
again and it is what it is. These months will pass and spring and summer even fall will be
here and I will soak up the warmth. For now I focus on the warm fuzzies I get with a fire
in the fireplace, a warm snuggle blanket and warm fur children.
My mind focuses on "remembering" again. I strive to remember the good things in life to ponder
them and to enjoy those pleasant things. I strive to remember the times God has drawn near and
walked with me through a struggle.
As God walks with me through struggles I find myself remembering His guidance, His love and His
paitience. When life is boring, hard and such the remember game is sure to soon bring those happy
moments. I remember accomplishing things I never knew I could accomplish. I remember a hug or a
kind word. The more I am able to remember happy moments I find that the very painful moments of my
life tend to stay in the past.
This remembering the good times, the times God stood beside me has been a long hard journey but these
days I can remember the good stuff and I am able to keep the bad stuff in the past. If I do walk into
a bad moment I do not stay there very long any more. I like that.
I can even look at Junior and remember more good stuff than annoying stuff about him. At first I started
leaving him a note each day as I left for work. He came home a few hours before I did so this was my
hug to him when he came home.
Each day I tried to tell Junior all the wonderful stuff he did. I marveled at his patience with me and his
artistic abilities. I marveled at his intellengence. If he was annoying me I tried hard not to notice those
moments and slowly I found myself not focusing on his annoying habits.
It isn't like I don't know they exist it is I'd rather see the good in him. When he steps over the line once
too often I will point out the fact. Junior is a good man and will "hear" what I have to say and then strive
to stop. I respect that in him. The more he is able to "hear" my struggle I find that I want to meet him
half way and I strive to walk away from my annoying to him traits.
God gives me confidence in "who" I am. Between God and Junior I find that I am truly a good person. Gone are the
days where I feel lower than low and just taking up space in life. I matter. My feelings matter and as I find
that I matter I find myself walking away from a need to be seen and heard. I am seen and heard and in that I
find value and worth.
These days I tend to go to God first. He has always been at my side encouraging me and stroking me when I need
it the most. These days my goal is to please God first and in that I find confidence, joy and peace. We were
watching a film with Jody Foster in it the other night. Junior told me he thought that I looked an awful lot
like Jodie Foster. He loves my long nose, my long neck. I have always felt ugly with them but Junior finds
those traits very attractive.
He does that often for me, makes me feel beautiful. I even joke with people that Junior married me because I look
good on his arm and that is what he wanted. I feel that pretty. Junior also likes my brain. He is not intimated
when I have a thought or two. He often will go with my thought and maybe even expand on it from time to time. I
love it.
These days I feel beautiful and smart and accepted for the person I am....in the Lord. As people respond to my
writings I tend to not hear my families message that I am a dork. I don't believe them anymore either. I find
a special place in the world and life could not be sweeter.
That is something I noticed way back when and often times I find myself reflecting back on it. I remember in high
school that there were some real dorky kids. They weren't liked much. As I watched them though they seemed content
in their personhood. They had friends and hung out with people. I was on the outside looking in often but I was not
on the fringe either. I was somewhere in the middle. Little Sister has pointed out what a dork I was from time to
time. I remember liking the kids I hung out with and feeling content. I look at little Sister and see she hung out
with the kids who smoked, did drugs in the bathroom and the like. I felt that those kids were not the ones I wanted
to be in life. They were ok to talk too and such but they were not my good friends. So Little Sister thought I was
strange because I hung out more with the "middle class" type kids. I would go back to that crowd in a heart beat
so if I was strange....I'd rather be strange than hanging out with the smokers and druggers. Is one right and the
other wrong....well if that is what they wanted to be that is their choice to an extent. It is not who I wanted to
be and for the first time I find that I am ok with the crowd I hung with. I even made the same choices as I graduated,
married and had a family.
Little Sister continued on with her crowd of people. One day she seemed to change and started doing life in a different mode.
She and I still live in different realms. It is what it is. I keep finding that we each find our own way. For me my
way is coming from God. Little Sister has met the Lord and she relates to those that relate to her life style and the
same goes for me. Yup I am content where I am these days even if it is different than some.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
My girls are near me as I sit in my recliner and write. This is one of those sweet
moments for me. Junior went to church without me since it was 11:00 before my eyes
saw the light of day.....2 am was the time I finally fell asleep. It is what it is.
I soak in the quietness and reval in it. I long for a new computer that won't die within
a couple of weeks of getting it. We are researching a better brand and hopefully soon it
will come to pass. I miss my editing buttons.
We had another blast of warm weather and of course I relished it. It is now getting colder
again and it is what it is. These months will pass and spring and summer even fall will be
here and I will soak up the warmth. For now I focus on the warm fuzzies I get with a fire
in the fireplace, a warm snuggle blanket and warm fur children.
My mind focuses on "remembering" again. I strive to remember the good things in life to ponder
them and to enjoy those pleasant things. I strive to remember the times God has drawn near and
walked with me through a struggle.
As God walks with me through struggles I find myself remembering His guidance, His love and His
paitience. When life is boring, hard and such the remember game is sure to soon bring those happy
moments. I remember accomplishing things I never knew I could accomplish. I remember a hug or a
kind word. The more I am able to remember happy moments I find that the very painful moments of my
life tend to stay in the past.
This remembering the good times, the times God stood beside me has been a long hard journey but these
days I can remember the good stuff and I am able to keep the bad stuff in the past. If I do walk into
a bad moment I do not stay there very long any more. I like that.
I can even look at Junior and remember more good stuff than annoying stuff about him. At first I started
leaving him a note each day as I left for work. He came home a few hours before I did so this was my
hug to him when he came home.
Each day I tried to tell Junior all the wonderful stuff he did. I marveled at his patience with me and his
artistic abilities. I marveled at his intellengence. If he was annoying me I tried hard not to notice those
moments and slowly I found myself not focusing on his annoying habits.
It isn't like I don't know they exist it is I'd rather see the good in him. When he steps over the line once
too often I will point out the fact. Junior is a good man and will "hear" what I have to say and then strive
to stop. I respect that in him. The more he is able to "hear" my struggle I find that I want to meet him
half way and I strive to walk away from my annoying to him traits.
God gives me confidence in "who" I am. Between God and Junior I find that I am truly a good person. Gone are the
days where I feel lower than low and just taking up space in life. I matter. My feelings matter and as I find
that I matter I find myself walking away from a need to be seen and heard. I am seen and heard and in that I
find value and worth.
These days I tend to go to God first. He has always been at my side encouraging me and stroking me when I need
it the most. These days my goal is to please God first and in that I find confidence, joy and peace. We were
watching a film with Jody Foster in it the other night. Junior told me he thought that I looked an awful lot
like Jodie Foster. He loves my long nose, my long neck. I have always felt ugly with them but Junior finds
those traits very attractive.
He does that often for me, makes me feel beautiful. I even joke with people that Junior married me because I look
good on his arm and that is what he wanted. I feel that pretty. Junior also likes my brain. He is not intimated
when I have a thought or two. He often will go with my thought and maybe even expand on it from time to time. I
love it.
These days I feel beautiful and smart and accepted for the person I am....in the Lord. As people respond to my
writings I tend to not hear my families message that I am a dork. I don't believe them anymore either. I find
a special place in the world and life could not be sweeter.
That is something I noticed way back when and often times I find myself reflecting back on it. I remember in high
school that there were some real dorky kids. They weren't liked much. As I watched them though they seemed content
in their personhood. They had friends and hung out with people. I was on the outside looking in often but I was not
on the fringe either. I was somewhere in the middle. Little Sister has pointed out what a dork I was from time to
time. I remember liking the kids I hung out with and feeling content. I look at little Sister and see she hung out
with the kids who smoked, did drugs in the bathroom and the like. I felt that those kids were not the ones I wanted
to be in life. They were ok to talk too and such but they were not my good friends. So Little Sister thought I was
strange because I hung out more with the "middle class" type kids. I would go back to that crowd in a heart beat
so if I was strange....I'd rather be strange than hanging out with the smokers and druggers. Is one right and the
other wrong....well if that is what they wanted to be that is their choice to an extent. It is not who I wanted to
be and for the first time I find that I am ok with the crowd I hung with. I even made the same choices as I graduated,
married and had a family.
Little Sister continued on with her crowd of people. One day she seemed to change and started doing life in a different mode.
She and I still live in different realms. It is what it is. I keep finding that we each find our own way. For me my
way is coming from God. Little Sister has met the Lord and she relates to those that relate to her life style and the
same goes for me. Yup I am content where I am these days even if it is different than some.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Saturday, January 4, 2014
January 4 2014
January 4 2014
Greetings My Friend,
The coffee is starting to take effect and I am waking up and thinking a bit
clearer. It has been a morning where the waking up process has been hard. I
struggled figuring out the coffee pot. I thought it was plugged in and started
it a few times and when I looked it looked like it was plugged in. Cold water
came out each time I tried to pour a cup. Junior came in and attempted to plug
the pot in only to have more cold water.
We finally got the pot plugged in fully and the coffee brewed and slowly I was
able to start my wake up process. I then posted my blog on Hoot Suite only to
find that I'd keyed in the blog address wrong. So I deleted all the posts and
started over.
I guess today's lesson is starting over and keeping at it untill I get it. I have
and now things are moving along. I have not gotten angry and thrown things, swore
and the like. I must say I felt challanged and being paitient was a bit hard but
I managed to keep a civil tongue and and attitude.
Now that things are falling into place I am able to begin to function as I normally do.
I am anxious to start my day of writing, housework, excercise and Bible study along with
my prayer time.
We went shopping yesterday and I am anxious to put up the curtain rod I got for the front
and back door along with the valances. I am anxious to see if I will like this look or
not. I get to decorate again and as always I love that part of house up keep.
We drove out to Kingsport to the Best Buy so I could get my new computer back and use it
again. We drove 2 hrs there to find out that it could not be fixed and they refunded us our
money back. We looked around and are thinking of using Apple instead of Windows but there
wasn't a lot to choose from. We went to lunch and have decided that we can wait a week or
so and hopefully pick up a good sale. We will see.
Most nights lately find me thanking God for the joy I feel. With all the years of depression
leaving me and the realization that Junior wants to really stay with me till the end I find
joy inside of me. I again notice that our lives are mundane and I love it to no end. I love
the way we do day to day life without all the drama of years ago.
I even find myself thanking God throughout the day as well. So my morning struggle was a surprise
to me. That said I am so proud that I did not resort to the old anger I would have at one time
in my life.
Those moments continue to point to me that because of this faith journey I am a "new creation in
Chirst." I like that feeling a lot. As an abused child and wife I remember years of feeling so
hopeless and that I had no controll in my life. I was thrust into divorce and went screaming and
kicking. Years later I am so thankful for my 2nd chance at life.
Lately I find myself admitting that I did love my ex at one time. It has taken me years to admit that
I even loved this man. These days I admitt that I loved him and then I also thank God that I am out of
that war zone.
As I married Junior I learned that married life, life in general does not need to be filled with battle
after battle. We have our moments where we don't agree with each other. We are able to work our way through
these moments though and in that I don't mind that we argue on occassion.
Junior has always allowed me to tell him to "stop." He will stop his behavior that I ask him to and that feels
real nice as well. As he quits his behavior I find that I want to meet him and change those things about me
that tend to drive him nuts.
The more I am in this faith journey Agape love tends to become my standard goal. I feel Agape love from God
and then I find myself attempting to Apape love others in my path. It seems that the days of anger found others
who were angry and we fed off of each other. Today finding ways to love others tends to find others who are
willing to love me right where I am and then I learn to go deeper.
I also learn to move on when I am not received with love. That was my problem before. I wanted to prove to people
that I truly cared. I did but some people don't want to be loved and it is not my job to hit them over the head
with my love. I need to give it and if it is received well and good. If not then I need to let go and move on.
My "move on" model is from Jesus. As I read Scripture I see that He did not save everyone He met. As I realize that
He did not save everyone then I find myself realizing I don't have to save everyone. I also am an enabler and that is
not how God loves me. God does not give me all I want in my flesh. As I learn to love God my idea of what is right
and good begins to change and then I want the things God wants. Yup I like that more so these days.
I find myself not agreeing with the "world's" concept of "right" thinking. I disagree with a lot of the "politicaly
incorrect" thinking that is out there today. I also don't think that it is right to go around beating people up
for thinking differently than I do. They can have their thoughts and I can have mine.
I may be told that I "have" to be a certain way. Outwardly I may have to act a certain way. No one can change the way
I feel though. Same goes for those who think differently than I do. To me this seems the fair way to be accept people
where they are at....I don't have to agree but I also don't have a right to beat them or have a superior attitude. God
teaches me right from wrong and He is my standard. If another person disagrees that is their right but don't force "your"
ideas on me and I will let my "ideas" be known and then I will move on. I am not going to be "what others think" I should be
for the sake of it all anymore. I am "me" you are "you" and we move through life.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
The coffee is starting to take effect and I am waking up and thinking a bit
clearer. It has been a morning where the waking up process has been hard. I
struggled figuring out the coffee pot. I thought it was plugged in and started
it a few times and when I looked it looked like it was plugged in. Cold water
came out each time I tried to pour a cup. Junior came in and attempted to plug
the pot in only to have more cold water.
We finally got the pot plugged in fully and the coffee brewed and slowly I was
able to start my wake up process. I then posted my blog on Hoot Suite only to
find that I'd keyed in the blog address wrong. So I deleted all the posts and
started over.
I guess today's lesson is starting over and keeping at it untill I get it. I have
and now things are moving along. I have not gotten angry and thrown things, swore
and the like. I must say I felt challanged and being paitient was a bit hard but
I managed to keep a civil tongue and and attitude.
Now that things are falling into place I am able to begin to function as I normally do.
I am anxious to start my day of writing, housework, excercise and Bible study along with
my prayer time.
We went shopping yesterday and I am anxious to put up the curtain rod I got for the front
and back door along with the valances. I am anxious to see if I will like this look or
not. I get to decorate again and as always I love that part of house up keep.
We drove out to Kingsport to the Best Buy so I could get my new computer back and use it
again. We drove 2 hrs there to find out that it could not be fixed and they refunded us our
money back. We looked around and are thinking of using Apple instead of Windows but there
wasn't a lot to choose from. We went to lunch and have decided that we can wait a week or
so and hopefully pick up a good sale. We will see.
Most nights lately find me thanking God for the joy I feel. With all the years of depression
leaving me and the realization that Junior wants to really stay with me till the end I find
joy inside of me. I again notice that our lives are mundane and I love it to no end. I love
the way we do day to day life without all the drama of years ago.
I even find myself thanking God throughout the day as well. So my morning struggle was a surprise
to me. That said I am so proud that I did not resort to the old anger I would have at one time
in my life.
Those moments continue to point to me that because of this faith journey I am a "new creation in
Chirst." I like that feeling a lot. As an abused child and wife I remember years of feeling so
hopeless and that I had no controll in my life. I was thrust into divorce and went screaming and
kicking. Years later I am so thankful for my 2nd chance at life.
Lately I find myself admitting that I did love my ex at one time. It has taken me years to admit that
I even loved this man. These days I admitt that I loved him and then I also thank God that I am out of
that war zone.
As I married Junior I learned that married life, life in general does not need to be filled with battle
after battle. We have our moments where we don't agree with each other. We are able to work our way through
these moments though and in that I don't mind that we argue on occassion.
Junior has always allowed me to tell him to "stop." He will stop his behavior that I ask him to and that feels
real nice as well. As he quits his behavior I find that I want to meet him and change those things about me
that tend to drive him nuts.
The more I am in this faith journey Agape love tends to become my standard goal. I feel Agape love from God
and then I find myself attempting to Apape love others in my path. It seems that the days of anger found others
who were angry and we fed off of each other. Today finding ways to love others tends to find others who are
willing to love me right where I am and then I learn to go deeper.
I also learn to move on when I am not received with love. That was my problem before. I wanted to prove to people
that I truly cared. I did but some people don't want to be loved and it is not my job to hit them over the head
with my love. I need to give it and if it is received well and good. If not then I need to let go and move on.
My "move on" model is from Jesus. As I read Scripture I see that He did not save everyone He met. As I realize that
He did not save everyone then I find myself realizing I don't have to save everyone. I also am an enabler and that is
not how God loves me. God does not give me all I want in my flesh. As I learn to love God my idea of what is right
and good begins to change and then I want the things God wants. Yup I like that more so these days.
I find myself not agreeing with the "world's" concept of "right" thinking. I disagree with a lot of the "politicaly
incorrect" thinking that is out there today. I also don't think that it is right to go around beating people up
for thinking differently than I do. They can have their thoughts and I can have mine.
I may be told that I "have" to be a certain way. Outwardly I may have to act a certain way. No one can change the way
I feel though. Same goes for those who think differently than I do. To me this seems the fair way to be accept people
where they are at....I don't have to agree but I also don't have a right to beat them or have a superior attitude. God
teaches me right from wrong and He is my standard. If another person disagrees that is their right but don't force "your"
ideas on me and I will let my "ideas" be known and then I will move on. I am not going to be "what others think" I should be
for the sake of it all anymore. I am "me" you are "you" and we move through life.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
January 4 2014
January 4 2014
Greetings My Friend,
The coffee is starting to take effect and I am waking up and thinking a bit
clearer. It has been a morning where the waking up process has been hard. I
struggled figuring out the coffee pot. I thought it was plugged in and started
it a few times and when I looked it looked like it was plugged in. Cold water
came out each time I tried to pour a cup. Junior came in and attempted to plug
the pot in only to have more cold water.
We finally got the pot plugged in fully and the coffee brewed and slowly I was
able to start my wake up process. I then posted my blog on Hoot Suite only to
find that I'd keyed in the blog address wrong. So I deleted all the posts and
started over.
I guess today's lesson is starting over and keeping at it untill I get it. I have
and now things are moving along. I have not gotten angry and thrown things, swore
and the like. I must say I felt challanged and being paitient was a bit hard but
I managed to keep a civil tongue and and attitude.
Now that things are falling into place I am able to begin to function as I normally do.
I am anxious to start my day of writing, housework, excercise and Bible study along with
my prayer time.
We went shopping yesterday and I am anxious to put up the curtain rod I got for the front
and back door along with the valances. I am anxious to see if I will like this look or
not. I get to decorate again and as always I love that part of house up keep.
We drove out to Kingsport to the Best Buy so I could get my new computer back and use it
again. We drove 2 hrs there to find out that it could not be fixed and they refunded us our
money back. We looked around and are thinking of using Apple instead of Windows but there
wasn't a lot to choose from. We went to lunch and have decided that we can wait a week or
so and hopefully pick up a good sale. We will see.
Most nights lately find me thanking God for the joy I feel. With all the years of depression
leaving me and the realization that Junior wants to really stay with me till the end I find
joy inside of me. I again notice that our lives are mundane and I love it to no end. I love
the way we do day to day life without all the drama of years ago.
I even find myself thanking God throughout the day as well. So my morning struggle was a surprise
to me. That said I am so proud that I did not resort to the old anger I would have at one time
in my life.
Those moments continue to point to me that because of this faith journey I am a "new creation in
Chirst." I like that feeling a lot. As an abused child and wife I remember years of feeling so
hopeless and that I had no controll in my life. I was thrust into divorce and went screaming and
kicking. Years later I am so thankful for my 2nd chance at life.
Lately I find myself admitting that I did love my ex at one time. It has taken me years to admit that
I even loved this man. These days I admitt that I loved him and then I also thank God that I am out of
that war zone.
As I married Junior I learned that married life, life in general does not need to be filled with battle
after battle. We have our moments where we don't agree with each other. We are able to work our way through
these moments though and in that I don't mind that we argue on occassion.
Junior has always allowed me to tell him to "stop." He will stop his behavior that I ask him to and that feels
real nice as well. As he quits his behavior I find that I want to meet him and change those things about me
that tend to drive him nuts.
The more I am in this faith journey Agape love tends to become my standard goal. I feel Agape love from God
and then I find myself attempting to Apape love others in my path. It seems that the days of anger found others
who were angry and we fed off of each other. Today finding ways to love others tends to find others who are
willing to love me right where I am and then I learn to go deeper.
I also learn to move on when I am not received with love. That was my problem before. I wanted to prove to people
that I truly cared. I did but some people don't want to be loved and it is not my job to hit them over the head
with my love. I need to give it and if it is received well and good. If not then I need to let go and move on.
My "move on" model is from Jesus. As I read Scripture I see that He did not save everyone He met. As I realize that
He did not save everyone then I find myself realizing I don't have to save everyone. I also am an enabler and that is
not how God loves me. God does not give me all I want in my flesh. As I learn to love God my idea of what is right
and good begins to change and then I want the things God wants. Yup I like that more so these days.
I find myself not agreeing with the "world's" concept of "right" thinking. I disagree with a lot of the "politicaly
incorrect" thinking that is out there today. I also don't think that it is right to go around beating people up
for thinking differently than I do. They can have their thoughts and I can have mine.
I may be told that I "have" to be a certain way. Outwardly I may have to act a certain way. No one can change the way
I feel though. Same goes for those who think differently than I do. To me this seems the fair way to be accept people
where they are at....I don't have to agree but I also don't have a right to beat them or have a superior attitude. God
teaches me right from wrong and He is my standard. If another person disagrees that is their right but don't force "your"
ideas on me and I will let my "ideas" be known and then I will move on. I am not going to be "what others think" I should be
for the sake of it all anymore. I am "me" you are "you" and we move through life.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
The coffee is starting to take effect and I am waking up and thinking a bit
clearer. It has been a morning where the waking up process has been hard. I
struggled figuring out the coffee pot. I thought it was plugged in and started
it a few times and when I looked it looked like it was plugged in. Cold water
came out each time I tried to pour a cup. Junior came in and attempted to plug
the pot in only to have more cold water.
We finally got the pot plugged in fully and the coffee brewed and slowly I was
able to start my wake up process. I then posted my blog on Hoot Suite only to
find that I'd keyed in the blog address wrong. So I deleted all the posts and
started over.
I guess today's lesson is starting over and keeping at it untill I get it. I have
and now things are moving along. I have not gotten angry and thrown things, swore
and the like. I must say I felt challanged and being paitient was a bit hard but
I managed to keep a civil tongue and and attitude.
Now that things are falling into place I am able to begin to function as I normally do.
I am anxious to start my day of writing, housework, excercise and Bible study along with
my prayer time.
We went shopping yesterday and I am anxious to put up the curtain rod I got for the front
and back door along with the valances. I am anxious to see if I will like this look or
not. I get to decorate again and as always I love that part of house up keep.
We drove out to Kingsport to the Best Buy so I could get my new computer back and use it
again. We drove 2 hrs there to find out that it could not be fixed and they refunded us our
money back. We looked around and are thinking of using Apple instead of Windows but there
wasn't a lot to choose from. We went to lunch and have decided that we can wait a week or
so and hopefully pick up a good sale. We will see.
Most nights lately find me thanking God for the joy I feel. With all the years of depression
leaving me and the realization that Junior wants to really stay with me till the end I find
joy inside of me. I again notice that our lives are mundane and I love it to no end. I love
the way we do day to day life without all the drama of years ago.
I even find myself thanking God throughout the day as well. So my morning struggle was a surprise
to me. That said I am so proud that I did not resort to the old anger I would have at one time
in my life.
Those moments continue to point to me that because of this faith journey I am a "new creation in
Chirst." I like that feeling a lot. As an abused child and wife I remember years of feeling so
hopeless and that I had no controll in my life. I was thrust into divorce and went screaming and
kicking. Years later I am so thankful for my 2nd chance at life.
Lately I find myself admitting that I did love my ex at one time. It has taken me years to admit that
I even loved this man. These days I admitt that I loved him and then I also thank God that I am out of
that war zone.
As I married Junior I learned that married life, life in general does not need to be filled with battle
after battle. We have our moments where we don't agree with each other. We are able to work our way through
these moments though and in that I don't mind that we argue on occassion.
Junior has always allowed me to tell him to "stop." He will stop his behavior that I ask him to and that feels
real nice as well. As he quits his behavior I find that I want to meet him and change those things about me
that tend to drive him nuts.
The more I am in this faith journey Agape love tends to become my standard goal. I feel Agape love from God
and then I find myself attempting to Apape love others in my path. It seems that the days of anger found others
who were angry and we fed off of each other. Today finding ways to love others tends to find others who are
willing to love me right where I am and then I learn to go deeper.
I also learn to move on when I am not received with love. That was my problem before. I wanted to prove to people
that I truly cared. I did but some people don't want to be loved and it is not my job to hit them over the head
with my love. I need to give it and if it is received well and good. If not then I need to let go and move on.
My "move on" model is from Jesus. As I read Scripture I see that He did not save everyone He met. As I realize that
He did not save everyone then I find myself realizing I don't have to save everyone. I also am an enabler and that is
not how God loves me. God does not give me all I want in my flesh. As I learn to love God my idea of what is right
and good begins to change and then I want the things God wants. Yup I like that more so these days.
I find myself not agreeing with the "world's" concept of "right" thinking. I disagree with a lot of the "politicaly
incorrect" thinking that is out there today. I also don't think that it is right to go around beating people up
for thinking differently than I do. They can have their thoughts and I can have mine.
I may be told that I "have" to be a certain way. Outwardly I may have to act a certain way. No one can change the way
I feel though. Same goes for those who think differently than I do. To me this seems the fair way to be accept people
where they are at....I don't have to agree but I also don't have a right to beat them or have a superior attitude. God
teaches me right from wrong and He is my standard. If another person disagrees that is their right but don't force "your"
ideas on me and I will let my "ideas" be known and then I will move on. I am not going to be "what others think" I should be
for the sake of it all anymore. I am "me" you are "you" and we move through life.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Thursday, January 2, 2014
January 2 2014
January 2 2014
Greetings My Friend,
It is finally here, the New Year so I begin a new again. To me that is a great feeling
starting over with a clean slate. With my energy level more on the rise I find myself
wondering where my journey will take me this year.
Will I be able to go on a mission trip? Will I find a volunteer opportunity? As I get older
having the desire to be doing feels awful nice. I feel connected and useful. I find love
grows in my heart and in love I continue to grow. Yup being old isn't as scary as I once
thought it would be.
Old age teaches me many lessons as well. I learn to slow down and to move at a pace where
I can accomplish things. Gone are the hurry up and wait days. These days I tend to do my
day in slow motion and it works out real nice.
I find moments that I "see" things I never saw before. I see spring from the begining to
the end. Summer flowers come and go and I marvel at the next batch of colors that tend
to burst forth.
As a young person I found many spring days turned into summer before I realized it. I saw
winter as a long long season of despair. Here in VA the winter's aren't as harsh as they
are in MI so I tend to not mind winter. I even find beauty in the snow, the trees with no
leaves and the crunchy looking leaves on the ground in the woods.
As I slow down I also find prayer time to be more frequent. As I keep talking to God I find
peace and an acceptance of who I am. Yup life is sweet in my older years like I never knew it
could be.
This winter arthritis is showing its ugly side all over me. My arm will hurt and bad words form
at the back of my mind. Next I feel it in my foot and those bad words try to come back louder. My
Chronic Fatigue comes out after a day of running and I find myself sitting and napping. I can't help
the sleep it is on me before I know it. I need the sleep so I learn to go with the flow and soon I
will be up and about again.
It has been several months now since my last trip and fall moment. I do find myself being more wobly even
with my cane. It does not scare me though, I accept that I will have moments of where I will fall and it
will hurt and I will move on.
My arthritis in my neck hurts from time to time as well. Who ever said getting old was easy? As my good friend
says "getting old is not for sissies." I think that statement is so right.
As the house comes together after renovating and order once again reins I find housework to be pleasant. I find
my old decorating style and comfort sets in as I view my style again. We live in our 90 year old home and I
marvel at how awesome it is.
When we moved in the original kitchen wood burner stove was still here. I wish it weren't so big because I would
have loved to keep it but we gave it to a niece of the orignal owener. I am happy it is in the family still. We
are trying to keep the look to the look back in the day. For some reason this place feels so nice to me.
It is a good home to grow old in. there is one small step to get on the porch and into the house. Again for our
older years this works real nice. With the wrap around porch there will be plenty of outside space if one of us
is in a wheel chair.
God told us to move from MI to VA and we did. Not a day goes by that I am not thankfull. I marvel at God's amazing
understanding of us and our needs. Junior did not want to retire but his back finally gave out. Out here we could
not find any contractors that wanted to work so Junior began the renovating process on his own. He has loved it as
I have as well. The work is hard for him but as he finishes a project I have such awe and wonder of my man.
Junior is getting to the point that he is tired and the constant renovating needs to slow down. I am not sure if he
will find someone to finish the work or not. We will see. He has had a job for many years now and he has been very
content in his work.
I am not sure where our next project or ministry is going to take us. I know though that my heart is asking God for
His will and somehow we will be moving in His direction not ours and I find comfort in that. What will this year bring
us? I am anxious to see.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
It is finally here, the New Year so I begin a new again. To me that is a great feeling
starting over with a clean slate. With my energy level more on the rise I find myself
wondering where my journey will take me this year.
Will I be able to go on a mission trip? Will I find a volunteer opportunity? As I get older
having the desire to be doing feels awful nice. I feel connected and useful. I find love
grows in my heart and in love I continue to grow. Yup being old isn't as scary as I once
thought it would be.
Old age teaches me many lessons as well. I learn to slow down and to move at a pace where
I can accomplish things. Gone are the hurry up and wait days. These days I tend to do my
day in slow motion and it works out real nice.
I find moments that I "see" things I never saw before. I see spring from the begining to
the end. Summer flowers come and go and I marvel at the next batch of colors that tend
to burst forth.
As a young person I found many spring days turned into summer before I realized it. I saw
winter as a long long season of despair. Here in VA the winter's aren't as harsh as they
are in MI so I tend to not mind winter. I even find beauty in the snow, the trees with no
leaves and the crunchy looking leaves on the ground in the woods.
As I slow down I also find prayer time to be more frequent. As I keep talking to God I find
peace and an acceptance of who I am. Yup life is sweet in my older years like I never knew it
could be.
This winter arthritis is showing its ugly side all over me. My arm will hurt and bad words form
at the back of my mind. Next I feel it in my foot and those bad words try to come back louder. My
Chronic Fatigue comes out after a day of running and I find myself sitting and napping. I can't help
the sleep it is on me before I know it. I need the sleep so I learn to go with the flow and soon I
will be up and about again.
It has been several months now since my last trip and fall moment. I do find myself being more wobly even
with my cane. It does not scare me though, I accept that I will have moments of where I will fall and it
will hurt and I will move on.
My arthritis in my neck hurts from time to time as well. Who ever said getting old was easy? As my good friend
says "getting old is not for sissies." I think that statement is so right.
As the house comes together after renovating and order once again reins I find housework to be pleasant. I find
my old decorating style and comfort sets in as I view my style again. We live in our 90 year old home and I
marvel at how awesome it is.
When we moved in the original kitchen wood burner stove was still here. I wish it weren't so big because I would
have loved to keep it but we gave it to a niece of the orignal owener. I am happy it is in the family still. We
are trying to keep the look to the look back in the day. For some reason this place feels so nice to me.
It is a good home to grow old in. there is one small step to get on the porch and into the house. Again for our
older years this works real nice. With the wrap around porch there will be plenty of outside space if one of us
is in a wheel chair.
God told us to move from MI to VA and we did. Not a day goes by that I am not thankfull. I marvel at God's amazing
understanding of us and our needs. Junior did not want to retire but his back finally gave out. Out here we could
not find any contractors that wanted to work so Junior began the renovating process on his own. He has loved it as
I have as well. The work is hard for him but as he finishes a project I have such awe and wonder of my man.
Junior is getting to the point that he is tired and the constant renovating needs to slow down. I am not sure if he
will find someone to finish the work or not. We will see. He has had a job for many years now and he has been very
content in his work.
I am not sure where our next project or ministry is going to take us. I know though that my heart is asking God for
His will and somehow we will be moving in His direction not ours and I find comfort in that. What will this year bring
us? I am anxious to see.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet
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