January 9, 2010

Greetings My Friend,

Character flaws are in everyone some way, somehow. I have had the opportunity to study mine recently….at times it has been painful. In my study of my character flaws I was taken back in time….where most of them began.

I have always had a tremendous desire to figure things out. Puzzling through thoughts is almost like a hobby for me. I can come up with three different scenes in a matter of minutes. It tends to annoy people a whole lot, which usually makes me very sad that I bother people that much. Part of the puzzling through process is asking questions….again this drives people crazy. To be honest…..I don’t even know I ask so many questions.

I started this behavior early on. At home as a child, I would come to the dinner table with questions. I remember getting the “sex” talk. They taught us the sperm cell and the egg cell had to unite. I thought about this and I thought on this for a long time. I could not figure out how the cells came together. I got fearful of the toilet. I imagined that my Dad’s or my brother’s sperm cells might leak out; I’d sit on the toilet and……. Finally I could not take it anymore, so I waited till dinner, it seemed like a good time to ask a question…. And I asked how the two cells got together. I looked up and saw jaws drop a mile, heard spoons clanking as they fell to the plates. Mom got up and left the table and Dad was sitting there with this look….. He eventually told me about the dogs in the yard and asked if I’d ever seen them come very close…..the light bulb went off and I was happy.

Another time I had a question. My girlfriend told me a joke and I could not get it. She used the “F” word. I did not know what that meant, never heard it before. So, I go home. At dinner I asked…..again I saw jaws drop a mile, heard silverware clatter. My parents started yelling and saying I was NEVER to play with this friend again. No one was telling me what it meant. I informed my parents that it can’t be a bad word because I did not know what it meant and repeated it several more times. Mom got up and walked out leaving Dad there with me AGAIN! Dad finally gave me an explanation that I could wrap my brain around. Again, when I learned what it was, I was happy and left the table to go on with my day.

One other story also comes to mind I was a newly married. I had a job as an insurance biller in a hospital. Part of the job entailed reading the doctor’s report so we’d know how to bill accordingly. I got one where a man was circumcised. I looked up and asked, what is circumcision? I heard pens drop, looked up and saw jaws dropped. They muttered that I needed to go home and ask my husband. I did and he showed me…….

As a little girl my Dad taught me that if I asked questions, I was showing I was interested in people. It was a polite thing to do. Sometimes I rattle off a half dozen questions and to be honest……I don’t even know that I do this. I am surprised when people tell me I am asking too many questions. As a writer…..I have a tendency to contemplate a lot of things. Again, I like to puzzle things through, and then I share what I learned. It really excites me to learn and to share.

Couple this with, I have an opinion and I love sharing what I believe and what I know and now you have an even more annoying person. Again, I don’t want to be offensive, rude or a pain in the neck…..but I am finding out that what I am trying not to be is exactly what I am

One of my life verses….I tend to have several….is Galatians 5:22-26”But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desire. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited provoking one another, envying one another.”

As I tried to figure out how to “overcome” these defects….very ingrained defects, I asked my husband if he would help me. It didn’t work; I was still being “me.” I talked to our Minister and he gave me a way to go. My goal at this point is to be quieter….don’t try to have a comment “all” the time. This will be hard, I love to talk. I have thoughts and I love sharing what I find. So….if I am quieter…..not as talkative…..you know my goal. Again, I am very sad when I am hard to deal with. As I continue to grow in the Lord, He is faithful and just in helping me be “all” that I can be.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

Jan 2, 2010

Greetings My Friend,

I wrote 2010 and it seems so…..weird. Anyway, it is January 2 and my thoughts take me to New Year’s resolutions. As I have entered into my faith walk with Jesus, I find that making a New Year’s resolution something I tend to do throughout the year as I sense God prompting me to make changes in my life.

As I waded through my emotions after my divorce, I found an outlook that helped me. I began to see new beginnings all over the place. There was Sunday, the first day of the week. There was morning of each day. There was a new day, a new week, a new month, a new minute, a new year. As I wrote in my journal I found that each new page was an opportunity to start fresh again.

I was 42, divorced and felt old in many ways. Each decade tends to make me think I am old, getting beyond being able to learn something new, to be able to do new things. My divorce drove home the point that we can begin a new each and every day. I may not be able to do what I did as a teenager, a twenty something, a thirty something, a forty something…..I am finding that I still have many opportunities to learn and to grow. That gives me so much hope.

Our Sunday School Teacher in Michigan often asked us, “Is your walk closer to the Lord than at the beginning of the year?” This has become the gage I use in my life. At this point in the year….I tend to reflect on this. For the past many years, I have found that I have indeed grown. I also begin to see or to remember when God has been very close. Remembering has been another wonderful lesson. In the past I remembered the painful hurts. Now though, I try to remember when God drew close to me. As I learn to look back, to remember, I find myself growing. I find myself being able to “let go, Let God.”

What has God done for me in the past year? In November of 2008 after the elections we found ourselves very discouraged in our home state. Michigan had voted to experiment on the unborn that were to be aborted. We started talking about moving. It just flowed out of our conversations. At one point we felt that we were to REALLY move. We began with prayer. We continued to prepare the house to be put up for sale. As we were preparing, the house in Haysi came up for rent. My sister lived in that area and we had loved visiting it. We prayed again and felt that we were to take it, each step of the move process we felt God’s hand and guidance on us.

After I retired in 2008 I struggled with many health issues. As I look back, I struggled with pain. I had headaches to the point of vomiting and my neck had arthritis which led to major pain as well. The pain would make me want to sleep a lot. God taught me to eat every 4 hours for my hypoglycemia and aspirin helped me through the pain of arthritis. As I began to implement these habits I found my energy level returning. As I lay in bed day after day discouraged, my cat Alex would come in and snuggle me. His warm purring body was a huge comfort. A lot of the healing really took root in Haysi, where I could relax and think.

The front porch, here in Haysi was a huge comfort to me all summer. As I sat out there day after day….I felt God’s hand, God’s love upon me. Humming birds feeding off of the feeders were awesome. One hummingbird was a talker. It was fun to hear his chatter as he flew in for a drink. Sometimes they flew close to us, like they were trying to get eye ball to eye ball with us. Sometimes we saw deer coming down for a drink at the river.

I sense another change is coming. I don’t know what, where, when, I just feel that I will be moving in a new direction. I am prayerful as to what changes are to be made. I believe that if I quiet my spirit, then I can “hear” God. One of my favorite passages says, “Be still and know that I am God.” Since I struggle with being still enough to hear….I ask God to help me. I love retirement because I am able to make more time for Bible Study and prayer. As I sit on the couch reading, learning, I am able to discern, to grow and then to go out and do. That is my goal in retirement – “go out and do.” I don’t want to use these last years of my life in a vegetative state. I want to be productive, useful for God.

Happy New Year. What is your goal for this year? Is it time to begin your walk with the Lord? All you have to do is confess your sins – God will take you right where you are at and then ask Jesus to be the Lord and Savior in your life.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

December 26, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

Christmas has been celebrated, now we wait to celebrate the New Year. My thoughts are turning to relationships. This week in between holidays is a reflective week for me. As I have attended marriage seminars, read books etc, I find there is a vast difference between males and females.

It may be obvious to you – to me….I have had to learn through the years. Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones for a while would dress like he was neither a man nor a woman. I remember being infatuated with that. I thought that the only difference was our equipment. As I have journeyed through this life starting with being a Mom of a son, I have learned that men ARE different than women. Not only with our equipment but also with the way we view things, approach life etc.

A woman in general is about soft, pretty, nurturing and basically girl stuff. A guy in general likes to be what a woman considers rough, they call each other names and find it fun, will hit each other on the shoulder rather than hugging. We also approach life differently. I love a book by the name of “Men are Waffles and Women are Spaghetti.” Men have a bunch of boxes and will operate in only one box at a time. Women are very global and will touch on everything and everything seems connected.

Men want respect. Respect to a man translates into love. Ephesians 5:33 “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” When I first learned this passage, I remember a light bulb going off in my head. Again, I had thought that my husband wanted hugs, wanted what I wanted. I am on a journey to find out what respect means to a man. To be honest….there are times where I am totally clueless.

I get it right often. Sometimes though, Junior will say that I am disrespecting him. I am crushed at that point. The last the last thing I Want to do is disrespect my husband. For the past many years our society has been concerned with the woman and we have become very female oriented. That does not help because there are two sexes out here.

I believe we need to “hear” Ephesians 5:21 “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This does not say that either one is more important. We are often taught the next verse without “hearing” the last one, “Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” I believe we start off with verse 21 and Then verse 22 makes more sense to me.

In business, in the military, even in the church we find that there is a hierarchy. In the church, Jesus is the head. In business, the boss is the head and even in that there is a hierarchy. At the bank we had a supervisor, a manager, a vice president, a president, a first vice president….you get my drift.

I have also learned through the years that the husband should be the “head” of the family. That does not mean he gets to run rough shod over everyone. A true leader is one who is a servant. If you look at Jesus’ life, He came as a servant. He came to very poor parents. He was born in a stable. When He was in ministry, He had no possessions, other than His clothes. One of the most touching moments for me is when Jesus washed the disciple’s feet. This was a very “low class” job. Jesus was teaching Agape love. Seek another’s highest good. That is what a leader’s job should be – in my opinion.

When I am respecting Junior, I have a very content man on my hands. So what does respect look like? I can give a few ideas. Each man as each woman has their own type of love/respect. Junior loves when I notice his muscles – he works out and he likes when I notice his muscles. He likes when I compliment him on what he has accomplished – projects, going to work – when he worked. When we were dating, he loved when I told him he was a stud muffin. As the years have gone on for us, some of the things he liked at first are not as important now. That’s hard at times to figure out. For Junior, he has learned on a deep level that I am not interested in any man but him. As he has come to feel safe, he does not need me to tell him he is a stud muffin, he knows it, and so he does not need to hear it anymore.

I have learned from our many marriage seminars that we should study our spouses. When we do that, we begin to then have a truly rewarding relationship. I have been praying for our relationship since our honeymoon. Prayer is important to all aspects of our lives and our marriages are as important. Prayer often opens my heart to Junior’s needs, to what I am doing that needs to be changed. When Junior was in his “curb side shopping” mode – I started praying for God to open my eyes and heart to Junior. God began to show me that Junior had a heart for the “poor”. My husband would find bags of clothes. He would wash them and then take them to Salvation Army – so someone else could have clothes. I learned to accept this behavior and find it so touching.

As we start a new year, may I suggest that we begin to study the men in our lives, to figure out what they need? Maybe this is the year we quit being all about females and begin to notice that there are men out there as well.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

December 26, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

Christmas has been celebrated, now we wait to celebrate the New Year. My thoughts are turning to relationships. This week in between holidays is a reflective week for me. As I have attended marriage seminars, read books etc, I find there is a vast difference between males and females.

It may be obvious to you – to me….I have had to learn through the years. Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones for a while would dress like he was neither a man nor a woman. I remember being infatuated with that. I thought that the only difference was our equipment. As I have journeyed through this life starting with being a Mom of a son, I have learned that men ARE different than women. Not only with our equipment but also with the way we view things, approach life etc.

A woman in general is about soft, pretty, nurturing and basically girl stuff. A guy in general likes to be what a woman considers rough, they call each other names and find it fun, will hit each other on the shoulder rather than hugging. We also approach life differently. I love a book by the name of “Men are Waffles and Women are Spaghetti.” Men have a bunch of boxes and will operate in only one box at a time. Women are very global and will touch on everything and everything seems connected.

Men want respect. Respect to a man translates into love. Ephesians 5:33 “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” When I first learned this passage, I remember a light bulb going off in my head. Again, I had thought that my husband wanted hugs, wanted what I wanted. I am on a journey to find out what respect means to a man. To be honest….there are times where I am totally clueless.

I get it right often. Sometimes though, Junior will say that I am disrespecting him. I am crushed at that point. The last the last thing I Want to do is disrespect my husband. For the past many years our society has been concerned with the woman and we have become very female oriented. That does not help because there are two sexes out here.

I believe we need to “hear” Ephesians 5:21 “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This does not say that either one is more important. We are often taught the next verse without “hearing” the last one, “Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” I believe we start off with verse 21 and Then verse 22 makes more sense to me.

In business, in the military, even in the church we find that there is a hierarchy. In the church, Jesus is the head. In business, the boss is the head and even in that there is a hierarchy. At the bank we had a supervisor, a manager, a vice president, a president, a first vice president….you get my drift.

I have also learned through the years that the husband should be the “head” of the family. That does not mean he gets to run rough shod over everyone. A true leader is one who is a servant. If you look at Jesus’ life, He came as a servant. He came to very poor parents. He was born in a stable. When He was in ministry, He had no possessions, other than His clothes. One of the most touching moments for me is when Jesus washed the disciple’s feet. This was a very “low class” job. Jesus was teaching Agape love. Seek another’s highest good. That is what a leader’s job should be – in my opinion.

When I am respecting Junior, I have a very content man on my hands. So what does respect look like? I can give a few ideas. Each man as each woman has their own type of love/respect. Junior loves when I notice his muscles – he works out and he likes when I notice his muscles. He likes when I compliment him on what he has accomplished – projects, going to work – when he worked. When we were dating, he loved when I told him he was a stud muffin. As the years have gone on for us, some of the things he liked at first are not as important now. That’s hard at times to figure out. For Junior, he has learned on a deep level that I am not interested in any man but him. As he has come to feel safe, he does not need me to tell him he is a stud muffin, he knows it, and so he does not need to hear it anymore.

I have learned from our many marriage seminars that we should study our spouses. When we do that, we begin to then have a truly rewarding relationship. I have been praying for our relationship since our honeymoon. Prayer is important to all aspects of our lives and our marriages are as important. Prayer often opens my heart to Junior’s needs, to what I am doing that needs to be changed. When Junior was in his “curb side shopping” mode – I started praying for God to open my eyes and heart to Junior. God began to show me that Junior had a heart for the “poor”. My husband would find bags of clothes. He would wash them and then take them to Salvation Army – so someone else could have clothes. I learned to accept this behavior and find it so touching.

As we start a new year, may I suggest that we begin to study the men in our lives, to figure out what they need? Maybe this is the year we quit being all about females and begin to notice that there are men out there as well.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

December 19, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

Wow! Christmas is next week. Can you believe it? So my thoughts have been running along the same lines as last week…..Jesus…..being born in a stable…..humble start and humble life. This week my thoughts are toward the gift giving- parts of Christmas.

Part of the charm of Christmas is the Wise Men coming along and giving Jesus gifts. Through the years I have learned that the Wise Men more than likely showed up two years into Jesus’ life. They did not show up in the stable along with the Shepherds like we see portrayed all the time.

The Wise Men brought three gifts we know of. They brought gold, incense and myrrh. These gifts were of no value to a two year old. He could not play with them; his diapers were not able to be changed by them, no bottle to feed him. Mathew 2:13-15 states, “When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.”

God provided for this family. That’s what the gifts did. It gave them a means to support themselves in a foreign land. Somewhere along the way to modern times we have come to believe that Christmas is not really about Jesus. It is now given another name such as…..Holiday celebration….Winter Solstice and totally nothing with Jesus in the celebration.

My mind keeps going back to the gifts that were brought to Jesus. God provided for this family – what they needed, not fun, not showy, fancy etc. I also remember when the Israelites’ were led away from Egypt on their way to the Promised Land. God provided for His people there too. He placed it on the Egyptians hearts to give the Israelites’ gifts. They were given silver, gold and clothing. This is what the gifts were for; silver and gold were used as money to support the community. Clothes were given for people to wear. Again the gifts were “humble” gifts, not showy, fancy or piled high for the sake of a “ton” of gifts that would be forgotten and not used within hours or days.

Another time of gifts comes to mind. In the desert God provided “manna” for the people to eat. They had food provided by God for 40 years. Each morning when they woke up “manna” was on the ground for them to eat. Again, the gift was not fancy, showy or about gifts given for the sake of a ton of presents.

When my children were little…..I didn’t really buy a ton of gifts for them to open each Christmas. They had 7 aunts and uncles who gave gifts to them. They had two sets of grandparents who bought for them and a Great Grandma. I could not justify piling the room high with gifts. My love language is not about being given gifts, so I had a hard time with it. I still have a hard time with a whole lot of gifts. I like to open a few – very few – still I do like opening gifts on Christmas and on my birthday.

I am starting to believe that this giving a ton of gifts mentality is not good. I am starting to believe when we give so many gifts we may be creating a mindset that we are to be “given” everything in life. We are to be handed life on a silver platter and we don’t have to work for what we get. I don’t believe that is what God had in mind. He teaches in Scripture again…. 2Thessalonians 3:10 “For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule, ‘If a man will not work, he shall not eat.”

God needs to be the one we rely on. When we are at the end of our rope, it should be to God we seek help, refuge. When my father’s parents walked out on my family after my Dad had polio, God gave my mother’s mother the heart to take us in. Our church provided food and clothing. My Mom went to work and we were given an income, later Dad went to work. God always provided for us. Sometimes he gave us people who took us under their wings and sometimes He gave my parents a job. Eventually though, we were to work. We were not on the hands of those who gave to us forever.

I believe that our gift giving should be “humble” not showy or fancy or even expensive for the sake of expensive. I believe we need to re-focus on Jesus and name Christmas as Christmas and if we do, I believe that our lives will truly be rich. Merry Christmas.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

December 12, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

It is December already, Christmas is around the corner. As I wrote about Christmas last year, I thought about how Jesus was born. He was born in a stable, laid in a manger which is a feeding trough for the animals. He was born to very poor parents and his mother was a teenager. Even now I have that Wow feeling. Then I like to ponder…..Jesus was a baby, he needed his diapers changed, he needed to be fed, and eventually he needed to be toilet trained. The Lord and Savior of our lives came to poor parents, to a teenage mother, and was a baby who needed to be loved, cared for. Another Wow!

I remember when my children were young; I wanted to create a Christmas like the ones on TV. I set myself up to fail. I wanted to bake, to have wonderful aromas wafting through our house. I wanted to have a picture perfect tree, each and EVERY year. It did not help that I had two very different children. My daughter loved tiny little things. My son loved giant things. We never could settle on the Right Christmas tree. Decorating the tree was impossible. When the kids were little, they put all the decorations in One spot and the rest of the tree was bare.

As an adult, the first few years after our divorce were hard. How do we celebrate? Many years Junior and I celebrated holidays on our own. We tried to pick different dates to celebrate, like the week before or after. Junior’s daughter soon settled into a holiday tradition with us. That was nice; we spent Christmas day at her place. Junior and Amy love to watch “A Christmas story.” My husband can watch that program over and over and he will laugh each and every time. I think I watch it just to watch as Junior gets all tickled. My son and his family had started to celebrate Christmas Eve day with us.

We are in Virginia now. We will learn some new ways to celebrate again. My sister has already included us with all their celebrations that they have. We will also need to figure out how we will do MI.

The years we learned to celebrate holidays on our own have taught me much. It is about Jesus. We always go to church – that will not change. It helps us to focus on Jesus – the real reason for the season. If I don’t have Jesus in the right spot in my heart….well the holiday then is not real.

I have also learned it is not the picture perfect house, the amount of presents under the Christmas tree; it is not the wonderful aroma of baked goods. What makes Christmas so special to me now is Jesus came into our SIN filled world. He came to teach us how much God the Father loves us. In love, well, for me when I finally figured out that I am loved, I have so much more calmness, courage and I feel like I truly matter. I have also learned that Jesus came as a baby, he grew into a man and ultimately died for me, my sins (anyone who will accept this gift).

As I close, I’d like to ask you…..Do you love Jesus. Have you met Him, invited Him to live in your heart? Is it time……

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

December 5, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

My heart is thinking about this blog. In recent months, I’ve been asked by my very good friend, “who is your audience, what is your goal” in writing. Some other friends are concerned for me. I thought I would put down what I want to accomplish.

I have wanted to write letters have a conversation with women. Overall, I feel that I am doing what I felt I was led to do. For some years now, I believe God has been teaching me how to write, how to not be so prideful. I wanted a lot of recognition for a very long time. I felt inferior in many ways and was looking to “arrive.” As my writing grew stronger, I found that I did not need to be “special” anymore.

Junior loved my letters to him. He encouraged me to write. God sent my friend J to teach me. We got together for a year or two and I grew under her leadership. Next He sent S and I helped to write a newsletter for our Sunday school class.

As I was preparing to retire, I felt led to write letters to women in my life. My Scripture I have for this as I try to write is Titus 2:3-4 “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” I also use Ephesians 5:21 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” And Ephesians 5:33 “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

In generations past multiple generations lived with each other. They helped each other with everyday life. Women had older women to guide them in child rearing, help with the child rearing. The older women helped the younger women understand what was going on in their bodies etc. For the past several generations, that has not happened. Our society became very mobile and parents raised their children on their own. Older people also began to go their own way.

My goal is to name things, feelings, etc and to offer my “older” woman’s advice. Sometimes I find that I struggle too. Many of the “feelings” I talk about, are feelings I have dealt with in my lifetime, not necessarily right now. It is my prayer, that by naming these feelings I may help someone on their life’s journey. I also want people to meet Jesus. Jesus has been such a great healer in my life and I want to share Him with others.

God has taught me to look at myself, to tell what I find in my journey through life. This can be mistaken and thought of as “it is about Janet.” In one way it is…..in another it is about trying to introduce Jesus’ love. My goal, my dream is that I make walking with Jesus a “real” day to day walk and in that He becomes real and someone to trust.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet