February 8, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Brenda spent the night with us this past week. Earlier in the week she sent me a text and I wanted to give up, God does not allow me to give up on her but I was tired of the same argument about why she can't go back to her house. She hates the apartment she is living in, it is not the best people to live near, in Michigan we called some apartments like hers "sin city." She moved into the apartment because her house is in need of major repairs, she has hoarded so badly that she can hardly move from room to room. She was trusting Jesus more and more then she was off on her own trying to handle her life. She wears me out to say the least add to that her bi polar mental problems can be very trying. I sent her a text telling her to go ahead, get a tent to put on her property, that would be healthy while undergoing chemo, then I proceeded to tell her about her lack of faith. We ignored my outburst when she came to visit, this time Junior told her Jesus loves her, I told her if she does not get right with Jesus she will procrastinate herself right into hell. This time Brenda was back to listening, talking coherently and she was very sober. Brenda understands more fully she more than likely is dying that her cancer is spreading although she hopes she has a couple of years yet. I told her she needs to forgive a few people, she is proud how she went off on a neighbor when he did not show up to help her. This neighbor through the years has done the most for Brenda but she is angry because he did not show up and she believes he has killed a few of her pets. Brenda at one point had 35 cats, her dog was untrained and she had several sets of babies at times the momma dog and her puppies formed a small pack of wild dogs. I told Brenda that these neighbors may have picked on her when she was in school but as an adult in her home she inherited from her mother the neighbors have often helped her when she asked, it was time to forgive them. I also mentioned to her that her words also hurt her son, Junior and I. She gets over her anger and thinks we also have let go of her outburst. Brenda sat listening, talking and this is the woman I long to connect with and stay connected to. She heard what I had to say, understood what I was telling her and when she left, I once more thought "maybe" she will finally turn her life over to Jesus. Brenda has said that her son Jeremiah is starting to drink too much like his uncle, her brother. I told her the best thing she could do for him is to begin to change her life, walk with Jesus because then he may see the change and turn his heart to Jesus. My prayer is that I am doing what God wants me to do, He keeps Brenda in my life for a reason, I pray I am doing what He wants me to do. I pray she grasps the need for Jesus. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet