Greetings My Friend,
On of the things my disability of Parkinson's is teaching me is that God does not want me to be so over active that I don't have time to be quiet with Him. I find a lot of the work of the church to be challenging, interesting and fun. I also am learning that even too much of the "good" ways of serving can hamper true ministry, by being so over loaded that you don't give your full attention to be able to be to fully develop the task to its fullest potential. One of the lessons God showed me as I did a review of my life from abuse was one of the ways I coped was to be over involved with church work. My thought was if I am not home there is not as much time to get into fights. Part of my lack of energy since retirement has been trying to keep moving not slowing down to be quiet, to seek the direction where God wanted me to go. I also have been very sad not being involved at church since retirement, I lack the energy to be dependable so I don't volunteer. God has made it clear that my work for Him will no longer be in the church proper but on my own, mostly at home. I am able to write as my energy allows for writing, out shopping I can be silly for a cashier, have my dog Daisy with me which always draws one or two people to stop and talk. I minister to my husband by having the house in order as he renovates, keeps the truck running, fixes on the house like when the pipes froze up etc. I can be a good friend, a listening ear to someone or I can be in prayer for people on social media etc. I used to think the busier I was the more I gave of my time the more my heart was focused on God. That is not true unfortunately because as I reflect back I was seeking attention, recognition and to be needed. The more I have slowed down the less pressed I feel to preform. I am learning to be just "me", to work at a pace I can handle and be proficient at what I am doing. This winter I have been able to find my niche in quiet time activity I am able to do cross stitch fairly well and I am relearning how to make dishcloths, I am able to focus a bit better again so I am able to redo the dishcloths until I make them right. I am making progress at making them square again although I still need to learn where I go off track so I don't have to unravel so many rows. These activities relax me, help me write better making my tremors not so apparent. The thing with the dishcloths is I can also give them away for gifts, to someone who could use a pick me up in life. With the cross stitch I prefer to make pillow cases, doilies and I am hoping to work on a lap quilt in the near future. These for now are mainly for me although I may find a way to give these as gifts as well, who knows. The lesson I take out of this is that God is not calling me to good works for the sake of good work, but to works that I am gifted at, can do at a decent pace with deeper love because I am in quiet time with Him more. In this I feel the love I have craved forever and I find I desire the approval from man less. God knows best. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
No comments:
Post a Comment