Greetings My Friend,
No matter whether you are healthy or unhealthy/disabled you have to make choices in life, some will be good and some not so good. That is what I am processing in my thoughts. When I first knew I was disabled I had decided to make being in church on Sunday morning and evening a priority in my life, I also made a decision to not work or volunteer, I did not have the energy to be busy outside of our home but to use that energy to cook, clean, write along with doing some sort of crafting. I could make time to go to the gym, except the membership fee is not worth joining because I wear out too soon to use a gym. Last Friday we decided to go to the Johnson City Mall because we heard that there was an Apple store there. That is a 3 hour drive one way so when we head that way we know up front that it is an all day commitment, we never found the mall but we did find out that Best Buy could help me with my problem so I dropped my iPad off with the plan to pick it up on Saturday. I was too tired to make the trip and I wanted to attend church services so the plan was to head back on Monday. I found myself tired but we managed to get out of the house and onto JC again. My iPad had been recovered but the Geek Squad could not help me, I had hit another snag in getting my iPad up and running. All of these snags found me discouraged, it would have been easy to get angry but that would do no good and people are not as inclined to be helpful to an angry woman. I had pushed myself beyond my endurance, I am lucky that my Parkinson's symptoms did not start getting worse like my tremor's shaking harder or muscles tightening up. Many times when we with PD push ourselves to do too much we pay a price. I am struggling with Chronic Fatigue more so, usually I am able to manage Chronic Fatigue by spacing out my running errands, taking daily naps or resting for a couple of hours at a time between being active for a couple of hours. Since I have been divorced from my 1st husband I have developed a close walk with Jesus, through the years I have learned to spend time with the LORD each day, since retirement my study time has settled to the first 2 hours I am awake each morning. This time allows my mind to wake up, orient myself to start my day. In learning to do this I find myself accepting my chronic illness with peace. As I was first uncovering all the things wrong with me like allergy induced asthma, GERDS, insomnia and eventually PD I thought maybe God would heal me completely all at once. As time went on I am glad He did not heal me completely, I find that relying on God to be so helpful in keeping my faith strong. I come back to being grateful for choosing Jesus day by day. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
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