Greetings My Friend,
My year end, start of the New Year reflection takes me once more through "Am I closer with Jesus at the end of the year than at the start of the year?" My answer is "Yes, I am". God has helped me with my disease, to cope, the diagnosis gave me the something to fight instead of wondering, worrying why my gait kept getting worse. God has guided me towards the medications, supplements, exercises even the food I eat and in some ways I feel healthier than I have felt in years. In the last few weeks God has shown me the healing I have from the abuse I endured for 40 years and how our move from Michigan to Virginia allowed me to heal. God also has shown me how my son is healed from his Dad's and my divorce, his divorce, he is in a good relationship with a woman, his anger has settled. I have finally learned that ministry outside of church is still true ministry. God gave me patience with Brenda when I found myself being irritated with her, God showed me how she was told what to do for 45 years and when her mother died she has been lost trying to fend for herself. I have been able to draw closer to Brenda because God showed me how to be with her. God also pointed me to see that Brenda's faith is growing, one tiny step at a time, just like my faith grew one tiny step at a time. I am now more patient, I understand more fully and I love Brenda more deeply. Junior's PTSD anger got a bit much to deal with, God gave me the words to have a serious talk with Junior that "enough was enough", he needed help a stronger dose of his depression medication. Junior listened, heard my concerns and asked his doctor for a stronger dose. His doctor has been wanting him to switch medications, take a stronger dose and she agreed that he needed it. Today Junior knows his limits better, does not work through his pain as much, which makes him a whole lot easier to deal with, his pain levels are not off the chart because he works smarter not harder. Christmas Eve God revealed for me to step beside someone else to offer support and encouragement. My prayer now is that God will give me all that I need to be the friend this person needs. I have learned the lesson of go when I can stop when I can't. Christmas Eve lasted until well into the night so Christmas Day I did not get up and go with Junior to volunteer to help with the church community dinner. I moved about as I was able to, rested when I needed to. God has used me, loved me, healed me, not all at one time but one day, one step at a time. I go into the New Year knowing that God has more work for me to do, people to love and my marriage strengthened. I love the gift Junior has been in my life, the love he allows me to give him and God's guiding hand on this marriage. I am excited about where my faith journey will take me this year, the lessons I will learn and the opportunity to love God more. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
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