Greetings My Friend,
It was Wednesday and I wanted to go grocery shopping before Junior left for Michigan for a few days, on the way to the grocery store we realized that it was Wednesday and we wanted to start going to prayer meetings at church on Wednesday. This was the 2nd week of attempting to make Wednesday night part of our weekly schedule and we forgot until we got into town. Luckily we were early so we did our shopping and then went over to the church and was able to pray along with the other people who come to the prayer meeting. One of the things I get discouraged with my chronic illness is that I am not dependable anymore. It takes me longer to get up and get moving these days, some days I am extremely tired so I need to sleep more and making a commitment is difficult. I do feel I am able to handle Wednesday night prayer meetings now and I am attempting to go with Junior, I value the opportunity to be with other believers and to stay close to God in my faith walk. I socialize on line quite a bit and prayerfully my faith walk comes through in my interactions online. The next place I am these days is shopping mainly grocery shopping so I pray that my words, the interaction with Junior are a light that shines for God's glory. I can't travel well anymore so I can't be a witness to God's love to others and volunteering or working are not possible either so I use what avenues I have available to me to be a witness for Jesus. I can feel God's hand on me as I struggle with Parkinson's, He is teaching me how to manage my symptoms, to keep a positive outlook instead of giving into depression even if it means that my anxiety medication needs to be adjusted from time to time. Having PD anxiety is a part of the disease, somehow dopamine depletion in my brain affects the ability to handle stress, anxiety what have you. In the back of my mind recently I ponder a bit too much on why my legs/gait are continuing to give out on me. I am exercising, on my feet as much as possible but my ability to stand, be balanced continues to decline and sets off my anxiety. Right now God helps me to stay focused on what I still have, the abilities to do things and even learn keeping me from a major shut down in my emotions. Realizing that I may be in a wheelchair at some point I felt God leading me to learn new things like decopauging and sewing, along with doing a cross stitch project again. These things are engaging my mind making me think through my brain fog so that I am experiencing brain fog less often these days. My church family is coming alongside of Junior and me while he is out of town. Debbie and Terrie are checking in with me while he is gone and at the prayer meeting Junior requested prayer for travel mercies and for me while he is gone, that felt good. Since I don't drive anymore, I feel connected to others and not alone up on our mountain. These little things are what I am able to share about how God sustains me and in sharing I also bring attention to the fact that God is willing to be intimately involved in everyone's life. Being loved, valued even though I am disabled makes getting up and moving a wonderful reason to smile and love again another day. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
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