May 2, 2017

Greetings My Friend, The last few days I have been taken back to the comfort of familiar things I learned as a child in Sunday school. I started remembering the Lord's Prayer and being upset because I had forgotten parts of it. I kept going over it, looked it up in the Bible and I am now able to remember it more fully. As I was going through this exercise in remembering I also recalled the 23rd Psalm. I don't know that I ever memorized the entire Psalm I know I memorized the 3 versus and it always brought me peace when I needed to quiet my thoughts down. I loved the imagery of the Shepherd keeping a watch over me and the green grass where I could lie down and watch big fluffy clouds float by. Next I saw myself beside the still waters feeling restored in my mind, body and spirit. This Psalm is generally read at funerals and I do find comfort thinking of those that have gone before me in this Psalm as well but I prefer to think of this in the land of the living, here and now as I read it. As I read into the next set of imagery once more I am reminded of a few things that God provides me, It starts off with "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil." I find myself not so afraid of the unknown and scary moment in life. After my divorce I turned to the great Shepherd, Jesus and right away I felt Him guiding my steps and learning to trust and obey. I felt myself walking away from the fear and evil I had known most of my life, I was learning how to change from a frightened woman who had no control to take control of my life so that I would not find another destructive relationship again. For me the main imagery ends with this stanza while the last versus' intrigue me, I find I don't understand fully the table that is prepared for me or the oil is poured over my head and what is meant by the word "anoint." After I have read it through again I find myself attempting to memorize it only to find I stop where I always stop. "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures,. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his names sake." This is the part I know the most and repeat the most in my thoughts. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil," I shudder less these days at the thought of "valley of death", that deep dark unknown void where I find myself feeling like I am falling down a deep hole with no bottom. I am starting to see that death is not as frightening as when I was a child, I see now that to close my eyes in this life will find me opening them to Jesus. I still desire to see this life through the ups and downs and at the right time I wait to go to Jesus. I believe as we get older we don't fear death like we did when we were younger if we are in a good relationship with Jesus. "your rod and your staff they comfort me." I have always felt that the rod is the rod of correction and the correction is a loving correction. The staff for me is like the shepherd's hooks we see on plays and such where they reach out and pull someone away from something, I see that as pulling me away from something that may hurt me. "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows." I love the imagery here but I do not fully understand what it is teaching me. "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever." I like learning to please God with these last words because as a child I believed if I could please my parents life would be wonderful and I often relate to God as my parent whom I want to please and desire to be in His presence always. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet