April 8, 2017

Greetings My Friend, I know that my improvement in symptoms is about the best I will get since I have been on Parkinson Disease medication for 5-6 months now. Even though I know this somewhere deep inside of me I have a few days where I am doing better, I have increased my exercises and I see that my gait is better. The other day I walked out on the porch to clean it, went off the porch to the carport next to the porch to plant flowers without my walker and I did pretty good. Sunday at church I almost felt like I could walk without my walker, I felt that confident. My mind starts wondering if I should try not using my walker, maybe go back to my walking stick. I even tell Junior I want to although I am not positive and he says he does not think it would be a good idea. When I have these days soon after I have a reality check, I spend time on my feet cleaning the house and after about 2 hours my lower back is killing me. I walked around very well with no hesitation or stumbling but my back hurts something bad. When I sit for a couple of hours I am ready to get up once more sometimes for another 2 hours or so, at the end of this 2 hours I am winded and my back hurts worse than it did earlier. These reality checks reminds me that I will only get worse not better. I fuss at myself for thinking I will get better, I have been having these delusions for a few years now. I don't go through them as often these days but I still have them. Sometimes I want to beat myself up for having these what I consider silly thoughts. Other times I reflect on my Dad and Junior and how they were able to make themselves go further in their disability. Dad was sure he could teach himself to walk when no doctor felt he could. Dad felt if he could train his back muscles to carry him so he could walk. Our church got Dad a back brace and while we were at school and Mom was at work Dad worked hard at teaching himself to walk and eventually he did. He walked strangely like he was drunk but he walked. When Junior lost his foot in Vietnam he taught himself to walk without a limp. He eventually was able to walk without a limp, most people are amazed when told he is an amputee. With these 2 examples I find myself striving hard to push past my limitations only to find I am not improving.My hope is the efforts I am making will delay the next stage of my disease which gives me a better quality of life for longer. I like this thought a whole bunch, Mom was my example to strive to be as healthy as I am able with diet and exercise,Mom was a heavy smoker, and she did not live smartly with her health. At age 64 Mom could not walk from the front room to the kitchen anymore. She refused to use oxygen due to her vanity and her quality of life was poor for many years. I vowed I would try to live a more healthy lifestyle. I never smoked, drank very little and I exercised moderately for most of my life. This summer I will be 64 and over all I am in as good of shape I can be given I have a chronic illness. With this illness I am still striving to live as healthy a life as I am able to live. I still do exercises, now I know the ones that will benefit me the most, I am eating next to no processed food and I am resting as my body is telling me to rest. For awhile I rested for a few minutes until a PT taught me to rest longer. Today I rest for a couple of hours at a time. Doing this I find I can work longer between rest periods. God has placed these people in my life to give me their examples, gave me PT so I could learn how to exercise with my disease and teach me longer rest periods was smarter for me. My faith in Jesus sustains me. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet