December 20, 2016

Greetings My Friend, Today I went to see the surgeon about having a colonoscopy, he remembered me from when I had to have an emergency appendectomy a few years ago which felt nice. We have a silly rapport and the intern who was sitting in on the visit and his assistant were watching us in confusion. We are both hyper active and our chatter can go on rather quickly. Since he did my appendix I have chosen to go to him for my colonoscopies as well. Once we finished with our silliness we got busy with talking about my other reason for being there. Since starting on this new medication for my Parkinson's I am having a problem with constipation and recently I wound up in the ER because I felt a bulge on the lower left side which was highly uncomfortable. My PCP decided I needed to have this "hernia" looked at since that is the name the ER doctor's gave it. My surgeon prodded on the area and he kept saying it could not be a hernia, it was not in the place where hernia's develop. He went back to his office to check out the Cat Scan that was taken in the ER and came back to tell me it was not a hernia. He decided that the colonoscopy would be able to help him determine what the lump was. Then he said "how about having the colonoscopy next week?" I was surprised things were moving rather quickly and I was good with that, less time for me to think about the whole dreaded day before procedure. We were out the door and driving when it came to me "if it wasn't a hernia, then what could be the lump I feel and came on with my constipation?" I think Dr.D ushered us out before I had too much time to think so now I have to wait a week to get some sort of answer. The other thing that popped into my mind after I left was I had mentioned that I had been recently diagnosed with Parkinson's and right off he said he noticed a tremor. I don't always feel myself shaking and I did not feel it when I was in the office. I understand now that I may not be aware of tremors all of the time but they are there when I don't realize it. My heart sank a little and my mind asked if I am already starting the uncontrollable shaking that is part of PD. I had entered into the fight of I will be able to walk and do well due to all my efforts at being proactive. I think I felt if I was walking the shaking would not be noticeable for a long time. As I think on this I know somewhere deep that my tremor's are returning due to my mistakes keyboarding, I also shake when I sew and my writing is poor at times. I feel like I keep facing the reality of PD and reprocessing all the information so I can live with my disease. With the settling of my thoughts I realize I am going to be having a few more conversations with God. I know it is the only way I will cope, learn how to be proactive.May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet