August 23, 2016

Greetings My Friend, After doing a few things aroud the house I decided it was time to rest and to write. When I am planning on writing I begin talking to God asking Him to lay upon my heart the message He wants me to write about. This morning I found myself thinking of comforting passages that have given me life when life was draining me out, such as depression, deep hurt and even anger. The only Bible Scripture I memorized as a child was the 23 Psalm, "The Lord is my Shephard." Today I only can quote maybe the first sentence or two and I find even this brings me comfort. "The Lord is my Shephard, I shall not want, He makes me lie down in....pastures?.... By the time I get to He makes me lie down in, I find peace and calmness filling the anxiety. Years later I learned that this is the Psalm that is read at funerals which I found strange because to me it gave me life and not permnanet rest in death. When I began my faith walk earnestly I found the love I was seeking in "He first loved us." There is more but the piece I remember spoke volumes to me. I felt accepted just the way I was. In Single Point I learned " I know the plans I have for you to prosper you" that verse told me that God has a plan for my life and work for His kingdom. Not only did God love me but He taught me my skills were unique and needed for the work of building His kingdom. The next passage I even know the address and quite a bit of it. "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, gladness....of such there is no law against it." When I discovered Galatians 5:20 I knew I had found the attitutdes I wanted to become part of my personality. I continue to work on this passage and my friend Debbie even painted me a picture of this passage which means I have a visiual reminder. I was a depressed angry woman when I started my journey and each time I read this passage I discovered that life of faith in God and Jesus as my Savior was to be a content and a joyful life. Getting out of being depressed was a lot of work throug counseling, Bible study and eventually I added medication to the mix. I discovered that the wiring system in my brain was broken so medication helped me maintain but when the medication left my system the wiring was broken again. I had one real bad anxiety attack when my gait started to dimish and I chose to focus on that I had to use the wheelchair. My PCP changed the medication and I am once more on target. I prayed asking God if I should go on the medication, I was leery finally I felt I should and today I am grateful for the assist. The political climate seems scary right now, my gait is weakening again and the anxiety is not in me today. I am able to pull out my comfort passages as each situation tries to overwhelm me. I have finally learned that learning passages is not about how many I know and can quote word for word but about the ones I remember in times of need. I learn that just a couple words can cam the storms in me and God is not impressed with all the quoting in the world. He does like the fact that I call on His Word with my heart and allow it to bring me comfort and peace. I learn my passages as I read the Bible and in prayer, sometimes God will remind me of a passage He knows I know and in that I find the strength to carry on. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet