April 16 2016

April 16 2016 Greetings My Friend, I was having a rather hard day the other day. I hand stitched a tee shirt quilt a while ago for Junior. By the time I finished my hands were shaking too much so I have wanted to use a sewing machine to put the back of the quilt on. Many years ago I did some sewing and gave it up when I sewed my wedding dress inside out (for my 1st wedding). I tried a few more times and totally gave up sewing until the last few years. I started off with cross stitch and loved that and then the tee shirt quilt idea struck and off I went into the unknown again. I have been trying to remember how to thread the machine and finally was able to figure that out. Reading directions are hard for me, I do better when I see someone show me. Next I needed to thread the bobbin and that is where I have been stuck for a few months now. It came to me to use Youtube as a way to learn and it is helpful. After a few videos I realized I took out the entire casing instead of just the bobbin and getting it back together is a huge challenge for me. I had worked a good 3 hours trying to figure it all out when I gave up completely. I wrote of my woes on Facebook something about when life gives you lemons make tuna casserole (my comfort food). I went on about how my home economics teacher would be so ashamed of me and my total disdain. Add to the irritation of my sewing escapade one of our beloved dogs got ran over too. I was attempting to sew to distract myself from the pain of loosing another pet. Our 2 cats who were 17 and 20 have died in the last few months so a young dog was a hard one. In my younger years I would have found something to slam or throw to let off my steam. With God's help today I don't need to break dishes, strike my fist into a pillow or throw things across the room. I do feel the irritation though while I don't get tied up in knots like have in the past. My physical reaction to anger started to disappear when I married Junior. When I struggled with an issue he listened to me and validated my feelings. He has never raised his fists in anger with me which also helped me to move out of reacting to anger with throwing and such. In my first marriage anger was pretty much a daily experience. Anger generally was resolved with aggression. The more I moved away from so much anger the Proverbs teaching on anger made sense. Anger begets anger. It is wise to walk away from an angry person than to stay with them because you will end up responding in like manner. This is so true, I see it now. The Bible also teaches us to not be unequally yoked. I hear it as a believer not marry a non believer. For years this did not make sense to me as well. Today I understand a bit more, it is like the anger issue figuratively, if you are married to an unbeliever and you are a believer the unbeliever will over ride your belief somehow. We are to reach out to an unbelieving world for sure but we also need to immerse ourselves with other believers where we can build each other up so when we go out to the unbelieving world we will remain strong in the Lord. I again see this in my own life. I was a marginal believer at best and I walked away from my faith. When I divorced I asked God for a believing husband and when I met Junior I knew he was a believing and living his faith kind of a man. Our marriage is strong not because of what we do but because we attempt to make Jesus the center of our marriage. Learning to listen to the Holy Spirit teach us to be what each other needs keeps us open to God's will in our lives. God has worked on our issues and as we have heard we have walked away from much of the dysfunction of our past. We are " a cord of 3 strands that are not easily broken."