September 3 2015

September 3 2015 Greetings My Friend Before I begin my day, prayer time even Bible study time I ask God to “open my eyes, heart and soul to Him and His will.” This consistent prayer helps me to stay focused on God and helps me to let go of my self centered ways. Without this I am sure I would still look at life through my own selfish heart. I am starting to add “Not my will but Your will.” I have come a long way through the years and I also know I am no where near where I want to be at the same time. I also ask frequently “put me this day and my life to Your Holy use.” With these prayers and with other prayers I find myself walking away from what seems right in my mind and I allow God to set my heart on His work for me. As a people pleaser for a good portion of my life I kept finding out that no matter how hard I tried to be agreeable, to be what I felt others wanted of me I did not endear myself to others as I thought I could. Actually I irritated people more than anything. These prayers are teaching me to please God and seek His will in my life. The more I able to let go of my own desires and learn to listen to God’s will I am finding a quiet peace within me. I am learning to accept my flaws and along the way the flaws are not flaws but God has created me in a unique way. In my special unique way God has given me my own calling to reach a certain group of people. As I began my writing career I felt I would reach out to the abused the most. The more I interact on Facebook I find I reach different types of hurting people along with the abused. With the discovery of my birth defect Chiari Malformation I understand the devastating effects of an invisible chronic illness. God has gifted me with the ability to put into words the things I am struggling with. I find that as I write about the things I am learning is also reaching another group of people. Many chronic illness’ share a few things in common one of which is Chronic Fatigue. This disease can seem like we are lazy looking trying to get out of obligations and such. In fact the fatigue can overwhelm us and moving away from it is a huge job. Through the years I have learned to work within my limitations and to be as proactive as I can. I am now taking Vitamin b12 for energy. With this I am able to function more so again. I also know that to many days of activity will throw me into a deep exhaustion. If I stop and allow my body to regroup I will be back to my new normal in short order. Along with balance issues, shakiness and occasional neck pain, mastoid pain and digestive upsets I have ways to cope through the moments and even keep them at bay with essential oils, supplements, medications, eating right and exercising within my limitations. I also struggle with asthma which has been recently diagnosed so I am learning how to cope, to find my triggers and to stay as healthy as I can. I also know I can be proactive up to a point and that recovering is going to take time. I sense God teaching me and I am sharing this journey and other journeys with others. In this I find support, give support and love. My God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet