April 11 2015

April 11 20 2015 Greetings My Friend I pushed myself hard this past week and I am paying a price for it. At the same time I am glad I did push myself too. Today I rest because I can’t go much more. Part of my slowing down has been lots of naps. The nice thing is I was able to do a few little things. We have a mirror on the wall that is large. I have started hanging various kinds of crosses on it and yesterday I was able to fill in a lot of the empty spaces. I may add more or I may not but the fullness is pretty to me at this point. I have learned I can balance well on a step stool and if I stretch out my arm and hold onto the wall I can maneuver fairly well. Junior has taught me to squat and my mantra is “squat down” each time I need to do something on the ground. I sense that dizziness is a part of me these days and I am somewhat aware and not so aware of it. I’ve learned those trigger moments that tend to induce the dizzy spells and work around it, like squatting instead of bending from the waist. Some days I think it is gone only to realize it is not I just work around it as I do many of other disabilities. Spring warmth has been spurring me on to do extra things and at the end of the week I know I’ve pushed myself too much. Still it feels good to see the porches cleaned off, the debris picked up out of the yard and to feel the warmth of the sun on my body. Through the years I have learned my limits and then I work within them so too I will learn to work within my limits with my outside activities. I want to spend more time outside so I will scale back on the day to day housework I’ve done all winter in order to be outside more. I am grateful I did a lot of spring cleaning when the weather kept us indoors for a few weeks. The inside has had a good cleaning and won’t tug on me. All this work gives my day dimension and I also know there are days we will run errands or even have some “play” days. Another piece to my life is starting to take shape as I hear from my son more often these days. I hear about his kids more and there is a fullness to life for me. The hard work of life after divorce seems to be settling down and an understanding of the “why” makes sense these days. I wish I had understood the warnings signs before I entered into an unhealthy relationship. I did not but when faced with a second chance the goal was to be much smarter about my choices. I give God the credit for helping me to choose this time and it has been a blessing. I can understand the gift of marriage to a good man these days and I am so thankful. Agape love seems to play an important role in our marriage. Instead of being self centered or seeking to only seek my mates goods at my expense today we both work at seeking each others highest good and in that I find a wonderful contentment. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet