February 14 2015

February 17 2015 Greetings My Friend In this marriage God has taught me to look at what Junior does and in that I see a very caring man. My focus is no longer on how backwards it seems Junior does things the end result is something fantastic. I am an organizing freak and Junior is a person who works the best in the midst of clutter and chaos. Once more I see the journeys God has taken me on with hindsight and marvel at God’s all knowing ways. For six years Junior kept his need for collecting stuff under control then he retired and was lost and went back to his old collecting ways. I was horrified and in the end God showed me I would rather learn to live with Junior and his chaotic ways than in a perfectly organized manner. God took our lesson even further with 2 moves in 2 years. Today I organize as Junior builds. I have gotten our renovated cluttered home under control. Junior realizes my confusion in clutter and periodically cleans up his projects for me. He sees that due to balance issues I am stumbling more so he keeps walk areas clear of debris for me. Both Junior and I have learned to utilize each others talents and we’ve become an even better team. Junior respects my abilities and I respect his even if we are foreign in our approaches to life and each other. I have found that I prefer to sit in the TV room and do a lot of my writing, crafting and such so Junior has made my area more like an office and it is perfect. In my first marriage as I did the look back I saw how I lost respect for my husband and as I lost respect I found it hard to see any good in him. Somewhere deep in me I realized that I needed to focus on the good qualities in my husband and not focus on their less desirable qualities. I could not do this on my own so God has taken me on a journey of keeping focused on Junior’s good qualities. At first I left Junior a note each work day telling him what I admired about him. He loved it and through this I learned that we all have our unique ways of doing things. When Junior retired I was still working so he took care of the day to day things I used to take care of. Right away I learned that what I felt was picked up was not what Junior felt picked up looked like. I admit that many nights I was so discouraged I could spit nails but I took my frustration to God instead of to Junior. God soon helped me to accept his way of doing things and our house was clean underneath his clutter. When I did not fuss at Junior he began to meet my need. I had to relearn this lesson as Junior renovated our home. Sometimes Junior does not see that I struggle with clutter and my balance struggles so I’ve learned to tell Junior in a gentle way. Junior complies and removes the clutter. Right now I am asking Junior to have the back deck cleaned up for this spring and summer. Junior is working at removing all the things he stored there so I will have a work area outside. He knows I am itching to decorate both the back deck and the wrap around porch so he is cleaning that up. We are discussing how we want these areas to look. As our home has come together I marvel at Junior’s talents. He is appreciating my “home making” abilities more these days. He lets me know how much he appreciates what i do to make life comfortable for him. This journey of learning to appreciate my husband’s talents is continuing on and in it I am ever grateful to God for such a good man. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet