December 4 2014

December 4 2014 Greetings My Friend I took the vacuum bucket out to the porch to empty it. Junior is working on the roof to the wheelchair ramp. I hear his hammering and my heart feels warm listening to him do his work. I walk down the porch and feel the extension on the width even more so. I was happy enough with the smaller width but now I am thankful that I have learned to be quiet and let Junior do Junior. Our home renovation has gone way differently than I would have liked and in the process I have learned to sit back, watch and be in awe of what is taking shape. My kitchen is functional but finished it is not. I don’t have nice counter tops even laminate ones. I have glass cutting boards lined up all over the place to work on. These days I do have a stove top and so I manage to keep us fed fairly well. I marvel at God teaching me to not voice each thought I have to Junior. I marvel that in this very long process that God has taught me “my way” isn’t the only way. Patience, I would have thought I was fairly patient until I met learning what being patient really means. In the quiet I have learned to build up my man, to let him take the lead on how to do the work he wants to do for me without irritating him into stopping all together. Little by little as the house has come together my health has gotten better and I am once more learning to be the clean woman of my younger days. I now do work in spurts and somedays those spurts can last up to a half hour or 45 minutes straight before I sit and rest. Other days I start all over again and work 5 sit 5 until I build up my stamina once more. In my heart I believe that we are in our forever home. No more moving unless to assisted living which I hope won’t have to be. In this house we are setting up our life routines. Our friend B who comes to stay from time to time laughs at our routines. She finds it cute really. Junior’s work starts rather early most days. He is up and doing an hour or more before my feet hit the floor. He does breakfast on his own. I do breakfast on my own and our day begins to intersect. We have lunch together most days. When the mail comes Junior looks through the mail and falls asleep for an hour or so. We sit in our recliners side by side chatting during his and my breaks. When break is over we both go back into our own work. We have tried hard to stay involved with each other’s day while giving each other time to be alone on our own. Our work has paid off rather nicely. I feel like Junior’s helpmate. I don’t have to know how to use man tools and he is happy with it. I do get to attempt to make our home comfortable for him to come in for breaks and at the end of the day. He beams with the house in order, not spotless but in order. When my children were very small I stayed home for a few years. At that point in time when I told people that I was a stay at home Mom, people seemed to think I was not very bright. It was popular to work, care for our home and family. Due to financial need I did go back to work. Today I see that there is a price for doing and being all things to everyone all the time. When I started into counseling I kept learning that in order to take care of others I had to first take care of me. I needed to rest, to have some interests of my own etc. I felt selfish but the more I learned to take those time outs the more I understood the need for self care. God teaches us to take time outs too. He created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th. I also see Jesus went into the garden alone too. He took time to be quiet with God and then He would enter back into day to day ministry. For the longest time I thought that once I accepted Jesus as my Savior that I had to run and God would give me energy to run like a wild woman. Today though I see God slowing me down a lot. For me it has been health challenges. In these challenges I have had to learn there are many different facets to ministry. Sometimes ministry is to my family, to sit and learn, grow and then go and do. God does not require me to be “on” all the time. If I were then when would I spend quiet time with God learning His wants and desires for my life? May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet