November 18 2014

November 18 2014 Greetings My Friend, I want what I want when I want it and how I want it. I’m still learning that what I want may not always be the best for me. I am still learning to “let go let God.” When we upset our whole life’s routines and moved not once but two times in two years I found myself wanting to feel the warm rhythms of a routine day to day life again. As we found the house we bought I wanted to renovate for a certain amount of time and then I wanted it to be done with. Oh then the disabilities were glaring me in the face and I wanted to do the right steps to get back to that point that I once was AND that did not happen. Slowly though life began to settle and routines again found their way into my rhythm of life. Each day was awesome again even the hard days were so worth living and dealing with. I felt the familiar again and found myself moving and doing and loving life. I was in awe of God and His hand in prompting us to move to a place we’d never even thought of moving to. I saw how it is “just right” for us. I saw that all the changes opened my eyes to doing things in a new and different way. I felt so secure once more. Then God asked me if I was relying on Him or on my routines and the rhythms of life. I felt I was giving my “all” to God and trying hard to live His way. I was and I was not. For me routines define me. I don’t mean for them to but they do. With a mind that can spider web, go into all kinds of distractions and such routines help me keep order and to accomplish things. Without order and routines I am a rabbit going off on any trail that pops into view. So Monday’s I tear apart the furniture to clean behind them, Tuesdays I clean the bathroom and my week goes along in its routines. Our home is looking good these days, there is order, meals are being made regularly and I am even growing in my faith. It feels real good to be honest. Then one day God seems to say “Can you change the time frame of writing and doing household chores?” Now I don’t just answer sure I begin a discussion on “It is working and I like the feel and what harm am I doing….” God says again “Can you change the time frame?” I repeat what I just said and all of a sudden I am in a writing time frame and no words are coming and I feel panicky and I get up and tear apart an area that just isn’t working out right yet. I work at this, make lunch, eat lunch, take a nap and say some prayers. I wake up refreshed and ready to write. Surprisingly the “words” begin to fly as I type and I am amazed at changing the time I write with the time I do some housework. Routines are good in fact they are great but for me anyway I can get too caught up almost obsessive compulsive about them. I inadvertently begin to rely more on my routine than I do God and here goes a new lesson to learn. God took all my comfort levels away and I found life to work out and then He gave me my comforts again. This time though I learned to “stop” a bit quicker even though I went through the “questioning” I did stop and do what I was directed to do. Hopefully the next time God wants me to do something new and different I can “just do it” without all the back and forth. If not God is patient and will stick to His reasons and I know that in the end I will do what He tells me to do. He only wants my highest good. Sometimes my highest good means change directions even for a moment or forever. God is always right and in the end that is such a comfort. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet