August 21 2014

August 21 2014 Greetings My Friend, I find so much encouragement from a little question Junior asked me as we were thinking to marry. At the time I fluffed it off because I had felt it was an obvious fact. It is one I subscribed to only I never put it in words and now he was. “Will you take this marriage seriously and there will be no ‘outs” was his question. As each year passes though I realize the depth of that question and I appreciate it. My ex and I never committed to this idea and frankly we divorced after 24 years. In my mind as we hit the decade and then into our 2nd decade I thought we had bought into the “no out” idea. We fought before we married, fought on our honeymoon and was fighting all the way to the end so how I came up with this idea I’m not sure. It did end and we were the statistic of two teenagers who married young. It took a while but it did end. These days I find myself relishing the idea we aren’t going to give up on each other. I relish that Junior loves Jesus and tries to love me as God loves him. I have learned to love Junior as God loves me. I continue to pray my prayer asking God to teach me. I love the “teach me” part a whole lot. In asking God to “teach me,” I learn what Junior needs. I start off with “Teach me to be the wife, friend, lover and companion Junior needs, not what I want to be for him. When I am seeking to be what Junior needs I am able to hear that small voice that says “not that way but this way Janet.” As I do it I see contentment on Junior’s face. Next I pray “open my eyes and heart to Junior.” This part is amazing. In my preconceived thinking a strange to me habit is not so strange and I even see love mixed in for others. I learn to focus on what Junior’s good points are and not on all his strange to me ways. I ask God also to “teach me to honor and respect Junior.” So what does honor and respect look like? About the time I think I know I find out Junior sees what I am doing as disrespectful. So God helps me here also. “Teach me to be sensitive to Junior and to seek his highest good,” comes next. I have a mouth that can berate someone in a heartbeat. As a woman I often move on as if nothing was wrong. I learned early on that a statement like that cuts Junior to the quick. These days I ask God to teach me to temper my words and show me how to focus on uplifting comments. Seeking Junior’s highest good also keeps the thoughts in a positive direction. As I pray I see Junior in my mind and find I marvel at this man God has placed me with. Each day I grow more in love with him. I am in awe of Junior as well. When Junior feels wanted he feels safe. In all of this I see a man in love with me. I finish up with “Protect us, hold us close. Teach us to be faithful and fruitful, first to You and then to each other. Lead us guide us for Your kingdom and glory. INJN I know that Junior too seeks to be the husband I need as well. As I struggle in life and Junior quietly but firmly insists I sit and rest or get out of the heat or such I feel a deep love from him. I find times where Junior studies me and reaches me in my love language. I learn Junior’s love language is words of encouragement. I am an encourager by nature but I know to add encouragement in all I say and do for him. Junior knows I need lots of attention. The more attention I know I will get I find I am quite comfortable with alone time these days. We’ve been married for 16 years now and frankly I’m not even close to thinking I’ve got this thing mastered. My goal is to pray until the end. I know that it is easy to break down a lifetime of work one day at a time, one step at a time so the goal is to keep praying as long as we live. May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine on you. ‘ Love Janet