June 19 2014

June 19 2014 Greetings My Friend, We have had lunch on our porch for the last two afternoons. It is awesome to sit in the quietness listening to birds sing, watch our dogs mill around and feel the gentle breeze. Yesterday we gave up and turned the air on. Afterwards I noticed that I had been using my as needed inhaler more and more. It occurred to me that the heat is hard on my lungs so I’m grateful we have the air conditioning. The ceiling fans tend to keep the house comfortable but by evening even those aren’t helping so now we have the air to turn on and cool things down. It works. For a good portion of the day we don’t need the air but by late afternoon it tends to come on and it works till evening when things cool down. I was tired after my morning walk so I laid down and took a mid morning nap. I must say it felt real nice and I was refreshed when I woke up. With that refreshed feeling and the air I am doing a good amount of housework. I like that as well. Knowing God’s will seems to be the theme on my mind this week. My Letters From Janet F B page has been working through “am I hearing God’s will and doing God’s will.” That lesson was so hard for me to grasp at the start of this journey and is at times today. I wanted to help fold bulletins and did so for a couple of years. The ladies changed the time frame. I have gone through spells of not being awake in time and such. When it seemed like my sleep routine settled down I asked about joining the ladies again only to find I was not awake or able to get out and around so early. I finally asked God and I heard an answer I did not want to hear. I attempted it anyway. When Friday rolled around I could not go once more. It dawned on me that God was telling me “no.” It was hard to do what God wanted me to do because I felt I was not doing anything wrong. God said “no” several more times before I got the point and quit trying. Many Friday mornings I find we need to do some of our errand running and such. We need to get an early start especially if we are headed to TN. I am grateful because we can leave and I am not absent from my helping duties. We enjoy getting back to VA earlier and we miss the heat TN has. They are about 10 degrees warmer than we are on our mountain. My intentions were good but at this time the Friday morning commitment simply doesn’t work. I am not leaving the ladies in a lurch since I am not routinely showing up anymore. I still want to contribute to my church family and so far nothing is working. I am writing and spending several hours each day writing. I am cooking and cleaning again like I did before my health struggles took over. I am ready to leave with Junior more often than not. I like that as well. God knows the big picture and I need to trust Him. Even when my requests seem to be of good intent. Many times the people in the church that make it run are the ones that are involved all the time with the running of the church and other members aren’t willing to help. That is how I feel these days. God does know all the times I helped the church I was at even if these people don’t. This is my season to work on the work God is giving me to do and so I learn to wait on the Lord. As I pull back and write, start some craft projects with Junior and keep house I find a calmness residing within me. It is when I try to buck God that I find tension within myself. So I let go and let God again. I say the refrain I’ve learned to say “Your will Lord, not my will.” I learn to say, to absorb it and to mean it truly. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet