January 11 2014

January 11 2014
Greetings My Friend,
The ear infection is leaving me. My ear is still plugged and it is hard to hear but it is
better now than it  has been. That is a relief. I am not so tired either so once more I begin to enter into
the day doing housework, cooking and the like. That feels nice as well.
Junior is working on a way for Alex our 18 year old cat to stay up out of the way of the dogs.
He is getting to where he won't even come down from his table to use his cat box....Junior
has started feeding him on his table and now Junior is bringing his cat box near him. I love
that Junior cares that much for my/our pets. Alex came to the marriage along with me.
Alex has been my comfort through divorce, cancer, and so much more. I love him like no
tomorrow. We are more distant these days due to the dog factor but I walk by and love on
him from time to time. My heart still loves this guy.
The two little dogs are now occupying my days. They are always near me or Junior but me more
so because I sit so much. Daisy won't go out the doggie door for a bathroom call but after
her call she comes in the doggie door. Silly girl. I find that letting her out is good for
me and I continue to need to care for her.
When I get up each morning she is so excited to see me. Junior gets up before I do and he takes
Daisy with him. Daisy will bark at the least sound if she stays with me so Junior gets her up
with him. When I do come out of the bedroom she is so excited to see me that I carry her around
for a few minutes, put eye drops in her eyes and such. When I settle down to do my computer time
both girls come to be near me. I feel loved and wanted and a whole host of other things.
As I continue on with this journey of faith I find even these little pet moments are a gift from
God. I can feel a God hug often when they are licking me or excited to see me. Sometimes I feel a
God hug when B is over for a few days and she makes me food to eat. I feel a God hug when Junior
seems extra touched by me when I've done something of no account. His smile melts my heart.
This year for Christmas my son called me first. I got up late due to my ear infection and I had not
called him yet. He called me and it felt great. He hung up and called back a few times as his son
kept asking him questions. It was precious.
Again I felt God's hand on me. As I kept taking my children to God through the years after the divorce
I began to wonder if they'd ever get over our divorce. The day has come and my son seems to understand
at last. My daughter is pulling away from not only me but the whole family. I hurt for her. I long to
comfort her and she pushes all of us away. So I pray, pray some more and in that I begin to let it be.
I sense this woman is hurt beyond measure. I hurt that she hurts so much. Still if she won't reach back
to me there isn't much I can do. I still take her to prayer though and that makes me feel like I am
touching my precious daughter.
It is God who continues to give me my sense of life. I feel His direction and take it. I feel His love
and find myself grateful. So often these days I find myself in thanfullness on and off throughout the
day. That feels awesome and again I learn to give "all" of me to God. The more I can the more life
tends to feel right and good.
Lately I feel thankfullness is as important as confessing my sins. I find giving God praise all day
throughout the day to be "good and right". Again I reflect on my ACTSS prayer format and each step
tends to find me growing closer to God.
As I continue on this faith journey I find moments that are real hard but with God walking beside me
through each struggle I find it ok. As my struggle comes to an end I find I am grateful for the lesson
learned. So I get up each day and begin my faith walk over.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet