November 2 2013

November 2 2013 Greetings My Friend, Another blog that is being rewritten since my computer with the saved blogs is in the shop. Today is the first day home from our trip to Colorado and I have been falling asleep on and off all day. I am awake so I am going to Hoot Suite and attempting to learn the new things I learned last week. Alex my cat is in my lap. He has been with me for 18 years now. He has been at my side through divorce, remarriage, cancer, gall bladder surgery and appendix surgery along with a fall and breaking a vertebrae. I love him a bunch. I also love the other dogs and cats and some of them are more or less my pet and I like that as well. Today we went to the grocery store to get a few groceries. I took Daisy with us. I loved it as people stopped by to love on her and adore her. One lady taught me to use baby shampoo to wash her with and showed me the chain we had was causing her neck to break out. We picked up a new collar for her. Alex is aloof and Daisy is always excited to be near me. I get Alex when he is ready to be loved on and doesn't want any loving otherwise. He tends to know when I am struggling so he will come to me more. That part always warms my heart. Mindy is the baby of the bunch. She often sits in my lap much like a toddler does. They tend to back into your lap knowing you are there and they think that is what I am waiting to do to let them sit in my lap. Precious. As I wake up the warm glow of the last week comes over me again. I marvel that my cousin and I are so similar even our looks as teenagers. She was the teacher I needed. She understands my learning style and teaches me in a way I learn best without getting all flustered with me. That was awesome. When we first talked about a visit a couple years ago I thought I'd be running and meeting family and such. The years have passed and I realized that we share the same type of ministry for the Lord. We both are writers and write in a different style but we both write for the Lord. I have a need to share my faith journey the day to day walk. She tends to pull topics together from research and shares what she finds. I find sometimes her stuff to hit a spot in me that opens my eyes to God on a deeper level. We visited D's mom a few times. We ran to the computer store once but for the most part it was a week of learning how to further my ministry for the Lord. I realized that I indeed have a ministry for the Lord and not some no nothing job. As I gain more energy I saw me getting into a ministry within in the church or the community and after my lack of energy today I realize I am in the ministry God wants me to be in. I find a settled feeling in my being as I enter into this new phase of ministry. I have more writing and the time I need does not allow me for the time being anyway to get involved in much else. I also know that each day my energy will come back a bit more until I can go back into my routines more comfortably. It used to panic me that I'd never be able to do things again. The help with depression with my physical struggles has brought me back to a measure of energy. I also realize I am older woman and my work style needs to change. I am implementing this new style and work is being accomplished again. When I was first divorced after 24 years of marriage I turned to God. I began a deep and serious walk with Jesus. As the days seemed like they'd never be calm again I slowly felt God's hand on me and life to take on a new dimension. As I struggled with depression, gall bladder surgery, cancer, a sense of exhaustion as I retired I have found time and again God guiding me. I like to be social and active. My body can't go like it once did. I have a birth defect that has upset my balance within my body. I stumble and fall more these days. I need a cane to get around with and I can't begin to walk as far and as long as I did a few short years ago. I believe God has allowed me to slow way down so that I will sit down and write. The more I write the more peace I have and my struggles don't seem so big. I have learned that I don't have to be on the run each and every day. I have learned to settle into a quiet life and leave drama behind. I like that a lot. Junior teaches me how to be more content in the "nothingness" of our days. I love it now. I also see how God has brought me to this point in my writing. At first I was not sure of what to write and how to share what I wrote. He sent a very special lady into my life and for a year or so she mentored me in writing. I helped with our Sunday school newsletter for a while and slowly my writing style has formed. I wrote a book as well. I am hoping with my new writing tools to be able to sell the book I wrote. The neat thing is I haven't been able to sell any in a while now and the first day I was on the new system I sold one book I know because I got an email stating they bought a book. I had a thought recently that I would go to when I was first divorced. I feel it fits my life right now again. My thought goes something like " each second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year are all new" I may be older but I have each of these moments to start all over again. That really helps me to have hope. I believe I have hope because of Jesus. I used to have wishing but now I have real hope with Jesus. May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you. Love Janet