April 22, 2013 Greetings My Friend, I am having one of those mornings. We are trying to get ready to leave for a trip and nothing is going according to plan. I could not get to sleep last night till real late, I woke up after a few hours of sleep so I thought I would get up and start the day to begin reading my Bible and fall asleep again. Yesterday we went to the Chiropractor which is a 3 hour journey. We got home then I took the car to town 20 minutes from our house bought a few items for the trip came home ate lunch and I found I could not move if I wanted to. So I sat. My packing is mostly done and I will finish that soon. Junior is up and around he has mopped the kitchen floor, washed dishes and frankly he is a bit cranky this morning. I don’t know what I did to upset him, but I do know I am under his skin already by being my usual self. He barked back at me when I asked a question. I silently slunk off, sat down at my computer while I ate breakfast and then a blog thought happened….so I share my day. Junior did not get his afternoon nap yesterday. He slept through the night a whole 8 hours but I guess he is still tired. With his back and PTSD he sleeps strange to me anyway. He has nightmares and has gotten in the habit of waking up after 6 hours. This way he won’t have as many nightmares. It has been his habit for decades now. He gets up, reads his Bible, does a few back exercises and then he generally will go back to sleep for a couple of hours. It works. He still needs an afternoon nap for his back. The back pain wears him out so the nap. I keep trying to find my medicine for my acid reflux disease and I can’t find the next bottle. I thought I had called it in last week to find I did not. I had got another prescription instead….so I call it in. By the time we leave we should be able to swing by and get it before leaving for our trip. This trip is getting off to a late start. When I got home I was wasted for the rest of the day from the trip to town and the Chiropractor I found I couldn’t move if I had wanted to. I received a phone call and it took all my energy to go outside to tell Junior. I hate having this struggle but I can get upset or accept it. I choose to accept it at this stage of the game. Junior is going about his work in a very quiet way. He is doing what he does like mop the floor, wash the dishes etc. I am waking up and after I finish this I will finish getting myself ready. We will get in the car and we will leave. I know that we will be friends in short order. I may need to be quiet for a bit longer but in short order we will be friends. I love that about him. He has a lot of pain and won’t tell me. He doesn’t want to bother me with the fact his back is hurting because it hurts all the time. Through the years I figure it out when he is hurting more than usual. It is when he is short with me for no reason that I can figure out. I love Junior to pieces so I will be quiet and wait this out. When we were at the Chiropractor yesterday Junior did his usual fall asleep routine as soon as he sat down in the waiting room. I took a picture of him with his hat down over his eyes. When we got into the room I showed him and he chuckled at my antic. To me he is precious when he sleeps, that is part of my guy and sometimes I think he is so cute I find myself snapping a picture of him. We will giggle about this a time or two today. I marvel at Junior’s cuteness. To me he is the most handsome guy in the world. I remember when we were driving back from getting married looking at him and thinking that he wasn’t the most handsome man. I remember thinking though that I loved his gentle but strong ways. I remember I liked his humor and frankly looks weren’t in the equation. The longer we are married I marvel at how handsome he has become to me. I marvel at how compatiable we are. I love this man’s very boring lifestyle beyond words. I love that we don’t fight about everything. We do get on each other’s nerves from time to time. I like that when we do I know that in short order we will be friends again. That is a huge comfort. For me in my life a fight was always loud and more often than not fists went flying. Everything was drama. I grew up this way, lived this way and it was all I knew. At some point though I grew tired of this type of lifestyle and I went into counseling to learn how to not resort to the drama all the time. It took me a long time but I began to walk away from that craziness. I was divorced, met Junior and frankly I love our life. Junior is the first tender touch I have ever known prior to him. He is the first person who said lets work out our differences instead of resorting to lots and lots of anger. It took me a while but I began to not say mean things when he upset me. We both promised to not use sarcastic humor on the other one. We don’t drink, he is an alcoholic so drinking is not an option. We don’t smoke. We don’t party. We hang out and live quietly. I love it. God has taught me to Agape love – seek another’s highest good. I attempt this type of love on Junior each day. The more I seek his highest good the more I find I don’t need to be the center of attention. I find my love, my patience growing and it is wonderful. May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine upon you. Love Janet I