April 17, 2013 Greetings My Friend, If someone would have told me that I’d turn into a night owl I would have laughed. I have always loved going to bed early and being up early. It is what I have done for most of my life. Even as a young party person I often found myself falling asleep before midnight. I am a person who likes living life during the daytime hours. This afternoon I got up at 2:00. I woke up at 8:00 and ate breakfast. I went back to bed and got up at 2:30. I do seem to need to eat at my regular times and I wake up only to go back to bed to finish my night’s sleep out. I even woke up with a headache this afternoon because it was time to eat lunch again. I have found that if I keep to a routine time in eating I don’t get the headaches like I did at one point. The bad thing is I need to quit drinking caffeine by about 1:30 in the afternoon if I want to get to sleep at a decent hour. I don’t know what I was thinking for New Year’s Eve this year. I drank a chocolate chip frappinico late in the day. I told myself it was New Year’s Eve and why not. Well with that drank I was up till 4ish. I knew better but my taste buds won that battle and I paid the price. I have the same struggle with eating too many carbs late in the day. It affects me much the same way caffeine does. The sugar keeps me going far longer than I’d like to be going. I have learned to get up and do my routines no matter what time I get up and that helps me not get upset constantly. I do my routine of looking on FB then reading my Bible passages on my e-mail taking the computer over to the comfy chair to journal and finally I pray. After that if there is running around that needs to be done we do that or I begin watching my programs until the news is over and nothing is on till my evening programs begin. At that point I am doing some sort of housework routine. My husband wouldn’t mind if I got back to making dinner again. I hope to start that routine soon again. I am so excited that Junior is working on the kitchen more and more. With that done we’d have a house pretty much in shape and done. That will be awesome. There is still a master bedroom he wants to make for us and that dream is awesome to me. I’ve never had a master bedroom with all the bells and whistles so it appeals to me a ton. I love the thought that the last big area after the master bedroom would be our porch area. With the new one it will be off of our master bedroom. I can see us having a coffee pot near the porch and maybe a small fridge so we can eat breakfast out on the porch. It is separate from the other porches and the furry children won’t be able to get on it as easily as they do the other porches and frankly I like that a lot as well. I think the constant clutter of finds they bring to the porch won’t be out there and then I won’t have to deal with each child wanting me to pet on them. I love those kids a ton but sometimes I’d like to not deal with them as I sit outside. I can see me and my laptop hanging out on the porch. I can see me writing more and yup it is a dream I am having often. That is what I’ve loved about this house. I begin dreaming of what I can do with each project and I get excited. I begin to dream how I will use that space and find myself so happy. I also see that in not too long of a time now that we will live in this house and I see it being a rather pleasant place to live. It will have all the dreams I’ve ever dreamt about in a home and that is exciting to me. Homes will always need some sort of work done and I think there will be enough to keep Junior busy for many years. I like that he will get into gardening again. I’d like to help with that but allergies seem to keep me from being out in the garden. I can sit and enjoy Junior’s handiwork though. I love that we have dreams even at this age. These dreams are what fuel us and give us a reason to keep going and frankly they feel real nice. I have hope these days. If you would have asked me years ago I would have told you I had hope. I think I really had wishing at that point. These days my real hope is Jesus. I find that Jesus accepts me the way I am and then God begins to change me and I enjoy the changing part of me. I am not alone and that always feels safe and wonderful. I have felt alone for a good portion of my life and now I have that feeling I am never alone and I love it. My husband truly loves me. That is hard for me to grasp. I thought he thought I was cute and he’d tire of me and I’d be on my own and that is the feeling I felt for years. As I went through the accident of falling and passing out I learned deeply that Junior loves me enough to stay no matter how difficult I can be at times. I try hard not to be difficult but frankly sometimes I am. I feel safe these days because I truly know that we will stay together no matter what. I also am a loved wife and that feels nice. It is not about my looks and he thinks I am beautiful with or without make up on. I rarely put make up on these days and Junior is still looking at me like I am beautiful. I have allergies and make up is hard to wear anymore. My husband has my heart. Now I know that I know that I have his heart. Yup life is sweet these days. May God bless you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet