September 22, 2012 . Greetings My Friend, Last Friday was about the most perfect day as a retired woman. Well really we took off to Roanoke for an overnight earlier in the week and I discovered that even though we’ve been married 14 years we still need some time away from the routines in life. We had fun and enjoyed exploring a new to us city. Anyway, Friday I got up and Junior drove me to the church so I could help fold bulletins and straighten the pews. When I finished working at the church Junior and I found ourselves stopping at the yard sales that were open in the open lots around town. We found a real nice floor lamp and picked it up for next to nothing. That was fun. On the way home we thought we’d stop by Johnny’s and we visited him. He then told us about his daughter having some lawn mowers that her grandfather left behind and she wanted to get rid of them. We have a neighbor who fixes them and re-sells them so we went to check out the lawn mowers. It was so much fun. Oh yes we stopped at the DMV so I could get a new driver’s license since I’ve lost mine. After that we headed to Pizza Hut for lunch. Junior got his pizza fix and I got my pasta fix. When we finished with that we headed on home. At home we went for a walk. I do love my walks and out here I almost daily marvel at the beauty that surrounds us. Once we got home Junior began working on putting in a new front door. I now have a pretty kitchen door which is mostly window. The front door is mostly window that is fancy glass. This door has been a quicker process, Junior learned on the kitchen door. I am so happy that this project has gone easier for him. He bought the pre hung doors and that process was new to him. For me I cleaned the bathroom and that was about all I could get done. Some days are like that. I am learning to do what I can when I can and be content. The day though was about as perfect as it gets for me. We hung out with each other doing what we love. We also got to visit people we love. Yup it was about as wonderful as life gets for me. We also had time to work. Junior did not want to retire but since his back gave out on him he had to. With the renovating Junior feels like he has a job and is very content in that. For me I am grateful I am retired. I have friends who are worn out like I am and they have to work because they cannot retire right now. I am able to sit when I need to and I can work when I can. I love the finished projects as Junior completes various projects. From the day we found this house till now, I have felt a peace I have never known in a home. It fits us so nicely. It is who we are and I am amazed at God pointing the way to Virginia and then to this house. I also am amazed because the temperatures out here fit us so well. We are both extreme opposite in our weather tastes. He like the cold, I hate the cold. I like warmer weather and he hates it. I can’t do heat as well as when I was younger but it does not get overly hot out here. I even see Junior and I being in this house until we leave for heaven. Today I’ve had one of my stomach struggle days. I haven’t had one in a long time but today my stomach is on a roller coaster. With the aid of Prozac I acknowledge my discomfort. I watch DIY, journal and at present I am writing a blog. I really grow through my struggles if I can write what I am dealing with. I love journaling. I love writing my blogs. To me the blogs have become my part time job and I am so happy when I can write a page with my thoughts. Again with the aid of Prozac I don’t give myself the internal talks I did in the past. When I can accept that I am what I am that helps me so much. I begin to do things when I can and when I can’t I don’t. It is such a hard lesson for me to learn and finally I’ve got it. Throughout this process we are starting to see the fruit of Junior’s labors. I love our home, the work he has done for me. Each day I marvel that my man wants to do what he does just for me. I am learning in a very deep way that my husband truly loves me. I still struggle with the feeling if I am not what I once was that I’m then given up on. Nope, Junior lets me know that I am very important to him. I even sense that if I were to die he’d really truly miss me. Junior has learned to let go of relationships and I felt for the longest time that if I was not there he’d move on without much struggle. Nope, I am learning that he will miss me in deep ways. It feels good to know that I matter a bunch to my guy. I have also learned that if Junior were to go home to the Lord that God will hold me. I have been afraid of Junior passing on before me. I even pray that we can die with each other, or near the same time. I truly don’t like the thought of doing life alone anymore. If God takes Junior first though I have comfort to know that God will guide me. May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine on you. Love Janet