March 26, 2011

Greetings My Friend,

Today I’m thinking about my faith journey. As I ponder my brother’s faith journey, I again puzzle. I did not know he had a strong faith. He told me that he felt that it was not something you discussed. As I was growing up I remember being taught that you should never discuss religion and politics.

As I have accepted Jesus as my Savior, I find a huge need to share what I’ve learned. I have a need to give a defense for what I believe. Living most of my life with no hope was so rough. As I have accepted Jesus, I have found hope. I have struggled with wanting to be noticed, to be loved and a whole host of other things. With Jesus, I have found that empty spot within me. He holds my hand, He guides me and in that I have a need to share what I’ve been given, a second chance at life. The Bible also instructs me to “give a defense for what I believe.”

What do I believe? I believe that our Lord Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit. I believe that He was born by the Virgin Mary. I believe He suffered under Pontius Pilot. I believe He was crucified died and was buried. I believe our Lord was raised from the dead on the third day. To me at this point I find hope residing within me. Our Savior conquered the grave. In that I find such hope. Our God allowed our Savior to come live among us, to die for us and cleanse us from our sins. I believe when I die, for me I’m on my way to heaven. If I had not accepted the cross, Jesus’ death, then hell would be waiting for me. I believe this with all my heart.

This is the hope I have and the hope I want to share. For me being quiet about it is hard. At times I am so sad that it took me 40 plus years to get the point. Still I am grateful that I have learned this lesson and now I want to share what I have learned. A very few will discover Jesus on their death bed. For me, I’m ever grateful that I learned of Jesus’ love way before my death bed. I love going around loving people as God has loved me. I love sharing my hope with others. I love watching “me” grow. It is strange and exciting at the same time.

I have been able to remarry and have a healthy marriage. I have been able to write a book. On my own, I would have never written it. I feel God is behind most of what I write. I am able to let go of relationships when I find I am not wanted. Does it hurt- yes it does. I am able to feel God’s love and to move on. On my own, I’d probably be very broken, unable to function. God helps me to find joy in life, even when life is very hard. I am able to walk out that front door and face life. I am also able to enter into counseling and allow the counselor to guide me away from the pain that has held me captive for some time now.

As I was coming to my faith, I had several people tell me their story, their testimony. I puzzled at times when I heard these people give me their testimony. I remember going to an Amway convention one time and hearing about a man who was pretty scary until he began his faith journey. He left his own mother in a pool of her blood, the blood he shed due to anger. A lady had knocked on his door and handed him a track. He pounded on her and sent her away. Later he read this track and began a faith journey. He started a ministry to street gangs. He began giving hope to young boys who were on a fast track to being murders, thugs etc. My Junior is an amazing story. He at one time had no value of human life. He’d kill you without much provocation. Has he murdered, it is not something I ask him. As he accepted Jesus though, wow! He is a great husband. He is a great friend and I feel ever so safe with him.

I believe we cannot leave our old lives behind on our own. I could not let go of deep pain on my own. I could not let go of bad relationships by myself. With Jesus, I am able to let go. I am able to get up and go out into my world and love as I have been loved.

Learning to Agape love has been wonderful. I seek another’s highest good. I like that. I have always wanted to love people and God has taught me the best thing I can do is seek their highest good. I don’t like telling people “no.”I want to be a “yes” kind of person. Being a constant “yes” person isn’t always the right thing to be. When I weigh the best for the person, then I will have to say “no” sometimes for their good. People don’t automatically love me just because I say “yes.” In fact they often are irritated with the constant flip flopping. I learn the “good” by reading God’s Word and by prayer. On my own, I can’t discern that.

As I end I want to ask, do you know Jesus? You know a faith journey is fairly easy to enter into. You have to believe, to accept Jesus’ death and resurrection. You have to admit that you are a sinner (that one was hard for me). If you do that then you can begin a faith journey as well. Tell someone, it helps cement your life in Jesus. Then I would suggest a church family, reading your Bible and prayer. These help you “hear” to grow.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine upon you.

Love
Janet