August 7, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
I’ve been pondering this for a while and I want to explore it more fully. Remember the geeks in high school? Remember how strange they were? Often times they were very smart, but boring. Listening to them was a chore to get through. They could be nice, but you know, they were boring. They didn’t like to have fun, like we liked to have fun. Bill Gates comes to mind. He must have been very into computers when everyone else was into football games, weekend parties and such.
In my more mature years, I find this problem still exists. Some people think going to church pot lucks are so boring. Some people don’t get “not drinking”. Fewer and fewer people in my age range can carry on like this anymore, so it is going away some. Still, there are other ways that people find us boring. To be honest I still run into this type of thinking amongst people in my age range and of course the younger generation often thinks that the older lifestyle is totally boring.
Another struggle I am having is people who think you are way out in left field. They don’t like the way I tend to use supplements. They may not like a financial decision I have made. They may not even like certain people I am involved with. This is a struggle for me to work through. To be honest, I have lost confidence in the medical profession at times. When I had cancer I was given a drug. It was supposed to help me not get cancer again in the breast. This drug began playing havoc on my uterus. I was displaying every side effect for uterine cancer, which was supposed to happen in less than 1% of those who used the drug. I asked the cancer doctor about going off and they recommended that I stay on the drug because my chance for breast cancer reoccurring was high. My head kept thinking “uterine cancer versus breast cancer, hmm, cancer is cancer.” I went off the drug, the side effects subsided and so far, so good. I am almost 6 years cancer free. Going to the oncologist, each visit I gave three little tubes of blood. The only thing they looked for was breast cancer. My family doctor always does a series of tests which look for many different things that could go wrong.
Supplements, prior to marrying Junior I was skeptical. When we first married and he started putting them before me as I ate, I was a little weary. When I went through radiation, I started to see a nutritionist. He recommended flax seed oil. I have been taking those capsules now for many years and Wow! My skin is extremely dry. Our mother had a birth defect. Her skin was so dry that it looked like fish scales. None of us kids and now grandkids has skin that bad. Our skin is extremely dry. It is miserably dry. As I went through menopause, it got worse. Flax seed oil has been wonderful. I did not burn badly with radiation and to this day my skin is not so dry.
When I first started taking supplements I noticed that my energy level evened out. I was the type where I had tons of energy or none. As I look at Junior it is hard to believe that he is 7 years older than me. His skin is good and he has a good amount of energy. He does tire due to pain. Junior has exercised regularly and taken supplements for decades now. He is doing great all because he takes supplements and life style choices. He quit smoking in his late twenty’s or early thirty’s. He has not drunk since then either. He rolled a beloved car due to his drinking and from that day on he has not had a drink. His life style choices have helped him to not be worn out or beat up in old age. Again his amputation and work that stressed his back do show themselves in his life.
Money, again I ponder. I knew someone who decided to get an education later in life. Good for her was what I thought. I was looking at retirement. I have wanted to write for years and years. That became my goal, write in retirement. This person began to develop an attitude toward me because they were going to be educated and I never finished my degree. Why does a college education mean you are better? I had people who thought I was off base, weird etc. As I listened to them, I found that the people they looked up to were…..not making the same choices I was making. One person pulled their money out of their 401k when the markets took a down turn. They bought a car. That person now has nothing or little saved for retirement. Another person that was looked up to a whole lot was going through a fourth divorce. Hmmm, I’m weird. I don’t get it. Junior and I sought the help of a financial planner, we listened to him and we are retired. I was able to retire young, 54, not bad. I’m not trying to brag, but I don’t “get it.”
Relationships, again I ponder…..I was married 24 years and divorced. That’s a long time, even if it was a rough marriage. I was able to stick it out. I’ve now been married for 12 years to Junior. Total number of years married is 36. It seems to me that I learned from my mistakes. Junior and I have a very companionable relationship. I just heard where Elizabeth Taylor is on her 8th marriage and she is in her 80’s. Some people don’t seem to be able to pick a good partner to make a commitment with. I must say that I have met people who are on their 3rd marriage. They went to marriage number 2 and were divorced. They did not look at their part of the marriage break up and that marriage fell apart. After that they took a long hard look at what they did wrong and the ones I know of on the third round they also made a commitment to walk with Jesus. These marriages I see are making it. I know of one lady who is on her third marriage and she has been married over 20 years.
Again, I believe the “success” I have had in life is nothing that I’ve done. I believe it is Jesus. The dream of my life today is to learn to live how God created us. It is a process, a journey and it has been just that a process and a journey. As I settle into this journey, I begin to find that if people find me weird, so be it. I am learning to let go if I need to. I don’t cling like I used to. If I do cling, I am learning to cling to God. As I keep stating, my goal is to Agape love. If it isn’t returned, so be it. God loves me. God’s love has been so precious. In His love, I have found courage to face life. I find courage to love, to give and to bring it back to the Father for His glory. This new life is WONDERFUL!
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet