April 10, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
I’m sure you have heard the statement from women mostly, “I am a skinny person inside a fat body.” I am sort of like that with my house. “I am a neat person within a clutter lifestyle.”
My life has been strange in the aspect of cleanliness. I grew up in a cluttered and often very un-kept house. In my first marriage, I was the messy compared to my husband. After we were divorced, I often heard people at work say, what a neat person I was. That surprised me. I thought I was a slob. At home growing up I was the neat freak. My room was ALWAYS picked up. I tend to pick up after myself well. I do not know how to “manage” those in my household to be neat.
When Junior and I first were married, I pretty much kept the house clean, picked up. In fact I was working from 10-7 which meant I had time to pick up before leaving most mornings. I loved this and to be honest, it was the only time in my life that my home (this one and my previous one) felt “just” right. When Junior retired, he took over a lot of the house work. Right after he retired, I had cancer and to be honest, I have struggled the last several years with my energy level. Chronic Fatigue is something I am exploring with the doctor at this point.
As we have settled in, I have wanted to have “good” habits. I retired with the idea that writing was to be my “part-time” job. I also have dreamt that I would finally have the “picture perfect” clean house.
I quickly got my writing piece started with this blog. I have started writing a book now as well….only lately I’m trying to “do” more house work. I do a few things and Junior does a few. It works for us and he doesn’t really mind.
Through the years, Junior has commented that he likes that I am not overly neat. He lived that in another life and he doesn’t like it. I heard him and I did not hear him. I would go to different friends’ homes and I “loved” their extremely neat homes. It “felt” good way down inside of me. Part of me thought, I’ll give this “gift” to Junior.
I sent an e-mail recently to a friend stating that I did not have the “house work” piece down yet. She questioned me AND the light bulb finally went off in my head. I love
Genesis 3:16…Your desire will be for your husband…..” God was telling Eve that her heart will be for her husband….there was the problem of the great sin….still when I read this, I find myself thinking, “Yes, my heart is for my husband.”
If my heart is for my husband, then I need to give him what he is comfortable with. He is not comfortable with a picture perfect, “house and garden” beautiful house. He DOES not want it and has told me so many times. Our home is not filthy, it is a little cluttered and if we knew we were having guests, we’d be able to make it nice with an hour, maybe two hours of bust our butt’s action.
Now if I let go of thinking I need to “do more” housework, then I am free to write even more and the best part is I can quit feeling guilty that I don’t have a “house and garden” pretty home.
The question I have is……are you thinking about what your husband needs….not only what you want?
May God bless you and keep, make his face shine upon you.
Love
Janet