March 17, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Learning to trust and obey is a constant learning of how to let go and let God. Junior and I were talking about some of the lessons we have been learning from helping others. One issue I have worked on for years is my anger. As a young child, young adult I gave into my anger, with my fists after I was married for a few years to my 1st husband I finally met my bully that was bigger than me. At first the drama of fighting and making up seemed exciting, as the years wore on, it grew tiresome, I began to seek counseling to learn how to stop being angry over everything. First I had to learn that there are other emotions besides "That made me made." I learned emotions like mad, sad, glad, happy, excited and hurt and when I started to see that being mad did not have to be the only feeling word I reacted to, I started to learn to think about why I was mad. For many years now God has allowed my anger to stay in check, I hardly fussed about much, Junior will tell anyone don't let the girl get hungry though it brings the tiger right out of her so he keeps me fed and whenever I say I am hungry when we are out, he finds me food immediately if not sooner. Recently though God has allowed my anger to service over a few things which usually put me into a fight or flight mode, I chose the flight mode. The more I ran from my anger the more angry things placed in my path so I had to learn to ask God to help me respond without anger. the other day when Brenda was here and started with her constant barrage of complaints I started singing. The next day I had heated responses to some of my conservative approaches which God has been leading to me to post. The weird thing is I responded calmly not me but the Holy Spirit seemed to be helping me respond with clear concise thoughts. I would only allow myself to respond to a point then I moved on. As I finished writing the last sentence I sighed a sigh of relief which means I am still a bit anxious and I know I have much more to learn. God has made me a strong personality now He is equipping me and I need to keep letting go and letting God. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet