February 13, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Wednesday is Valentine's Day a day where people give a gift of love to those that they love. That is what I thought about as I thought of writing this blog. Right after that thought a thought came to me about the best gift in the world is the gift of Jesus. Lately I am reflecting on the miraculous changes that have taken place in my life, some people are amazed, some not so much. My story is amazing to me because I know where I once was and where I am today. I find that people are more fascinated with Junior's transformation than mine. He states that He has broken every one of the 10 commandments before his life was turned over to Jesus. My story is not that dramatic although it has some elements of drama. Sometimes people almost wish they had a testimony like Junior's, for me I see the transformation in my own life and I am amazed. I lived 40 years with abuse starting in my youth and then marrying into even more abuse. In recent months I have started to see that I have finally settled into my own personhood, for many years I was a wild rollercoaster of emotions, trying out different ways to be me. I do know as I started feeling free of abuse I began having the ability to be sillier, to be able to talk to most anyone. I went from not being able to look people in the eye when talking to them to holding eye contact while speaking to people. Today, I will chat with just about anyone I meet. I am grateful for the long journey to living in wholeness. I am grateful when I meeting a woman who is living or has just come from an abusive relationship that I am able to relate to her, to talk with her and I have advice to give from my own life and from the many years of therapy, relationship classes and most importantly my walk of faith with in Jesus. Junior has compassion although he does not always know how to relate. For me I am not able to relate to the type of people that Junior can relate to and at the end of the day, it is not about the drama of our life but our ability to reach the people we can relate to. Since we both have been dysfunctional in our lives we also have a testimony in our ability to be happily married. We are often an inspiration to other couples who have had divorces, who are in a second marriage etc. What our lives tell the world is that Jesus loves even those  at the lowest wrung of the ladder in life, have a chance to enter into the kingdom of heaven, I believe that is what many people see in me, in our relationship and in Junior's dramatic life of a hoodlum, biker enforcer, bitter Marine life he lived. Most days in my prayers of thankfulness I am grateful that Jesus loved the lowest of society, which is where I feel I have come from. At the end of the day the important message is Jesus is the way to God, the way to eternal life in heaven and there is no other way. Jesus accepts true hearts given to Him that ask to be forgiven and then allow the Holy Spirit to change their lives just as He has done with me and continues to do. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet