May 9, 2017

Greetings My Friend, I have spent my young adult years learning how to be organized. I grew up in chaos, our home had no order to it and I longed to have order in my life. When I went to work for the bank I learned rather quickly how to organize my work. I worked in commercial loan processing which required that what the work that came in on my desk had to be off my desk completed by the end of day so organization was needed to do the work. As I learned how to organize my work I found these principles helped me with organizing my home life. I have grown comfortable with a well organized life so when we moved to Virginia into a smaller house than what I have been comfortable with I struggled with keeping our home in order. A year later we bought the house we are in that has been in a state of renovation for 7 years now. In the midst of all this I was struggling with chronic fatigue and other health issues which were unknown at that time. I believe God allowed this total disruption in my life so that I would rethink all the ways I did life. He knew my health would not be what it was so when order began to come into all the craziness I wound up doing housework differently than I had always done it. I learned to do old things in new ways and I was grateful for the lessons I was given. I have spent a few years bringing order to our lives and I have been growing very comfortable with the new routines. In the last week Junior has decided to work on the fire pit area, have Howie do wiring for the car port that attached to the porch, do wiring in the kitchen and rearrange a few things in the kitchen and my old feelings of anxiety are popping up with the disorder in these areas. I know this is the way Junior needs to work with his bad back and I also know when he finishes he will put things back to a semblance of order again but I am struggling. Recently I have had conversations with women from church and the first thing out of my mouth when I was asked how I was doing was "I struggle with Junior's sloppiness." I was shocked I said this out loud and upset because I love Junior deeply. I have long decided I wanted to be with no other man but Junior and I am willing to live with his chaotic ways. I am pleased he does not do his hoarding inside the house and it is in our out buildings....a little into the yard but that is mostly his tools and such for renovating. I am praying that one day our yard will be neat. Today while we were praying and doing our Bible study we had a frank talk about our shortcomings and how it affects the other one. Junior is learning to slow down as he tries to figure out his wiring project. I admitted that I am learning how to cope with his piles and a cabinet that is parked in the middle of the floor in the kitchen. We both felt God was teaching us lessons. For me it would not take much for me to be overly dependent on routines and life does not stay the same. By God allowing me to work through these changes I am staying flexible and learning to rethink the ways I do life. Junior moves slowly but my guess is he struggles with some projects since carpentry is not something Junior knows readily. I believe God is teaching Junior to talk to Him before he does a project instead of after he flubs it up several times. By talking to God 1st Junior won't be redoing a project 5 or 6 times. Lastly the items that are out of place makes me think about where I am walking teaching me to navigate my feet. I struggle because of my Parkinson's where I trip rather easily. As the dopamine leaves my brain I am not able to comprehend like I once did. God is always looking out for our good and I find a comfort knowing He is watching out after us. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet