March 4, 2017

Greetings My Friend, There are those moments when I struggle to think as I once did. Sometimes I go the fridge to get something and I open the door, stand stareing until I can pull up what I went the fridge for. It takes me a few more seconds than it used to, then Junior and I decided I should take over the bills. He was paying them well, he struggled with spending too much money so he gave me his credit cards and the check book so I could help him keep himself in check. No problem or so I thought, I used to do all the bill paying in my first marriage and with Junior I had a set of bills I paid with my check and he had others with his check. It worked rather well the first 10 years we were married. In retirement we went to shared accounts and I was struggling so he took over paying the bills. I picked up the plotting and planning again and learned all about bill pay and went on my merry way. Not really, I soon discovered silly mistakes like not registering what checks I was writing, not looking on line enough to stay on top of the ebb and flow of our money. It was hard but I gave Junior the checkbook back and he agreed he should handle the finances again. The good thing is this timeout gave Junior the incentive to stop spending money. We also have decided to work on what to pay together more which means I will keep my hand in on our finances. We are putting our house up for sale that we have been renting since the market went bad and we were upside down on our mortgage. The housing market has picked up so we should be able to get what we paid for the house. As we thought about this I thought it would be nice to travel up to Michigan so we could prepare the house to put it on the market and then we would need to be there for the signing. Junior has been gently telling me that I wear out to easily and he felt travel is not for my good anymore. I did not want to hear this though until we had a couple of very busy days recently. I was exhausted beyond belief which when the truth of what Junior has been telling me hit me. A phone call to our realtor assured me that we do not need to make the trip. He is asking the tenant for a walk through to get an idea of what needs to be done. He knows of people who will paint and spruce up the house to put it on the market and then he informed me that we also do not need to be in Michigan for the signing when the house sells. He can send the documents via e-mail and we can fax them back which means I won't have to struggle with my energy level being poor. Parkinson's is hard to accept at times, I am at peace for the most part although letting go of somethings is taking some adjustment. Right now, I am wondering if I will have dementia and I am a bit scared. As of yet I have not taken this concern fully to God which is what I need to do. Exhaustion has been keeping me from some of the mind games I have been playing like jigsaw puzzles or word search games. With this realization I believe I need to make an effort to play them more. I am exercising my body as much as I can and PD seems to be taking most of my focus. I am sure I will have to learn even more so I can maintain for as long as possible. As I have discovered new concerns I realize I need to begin a new set of conversations with God. I know that I know He will walk with me through this difficult disease, it is the hope I have and the peace in my heart. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet