October 29, 2016

Greetings My Friend, I must say that I am enjoying the warm days we are experiencing so far this fall. We are having several 80 degree days and they feel nice. We tend to leave the screen door open and Miss Daisy is using the open screen door to take herself outside. She cracks me up because she will now go out the doggy door but she comes in the other doggy door near the kitchen. At least she knows it is there to use and I have a feeling that come winter she will go out and not go very far coming back in asap. Daisy is also feisty these days when we get ready to go away and I tell her she needs to stay, only to be getting into the truck to see her looking up at me wanting to go. Sometimes we concede and take her while other times we tell her no because it will not be good for her to be in the truck when we are not in it. On the same vein Roscoe our rescue cat has started wandering out of the spare bedroom more. Today while I was cleaning a corner in the sitting room Roscoe came out to inspect what I was doing and another room or two. That always makes me happy when he ventures out. I have had him on the cat walkway in the dinning room but he is still not sure he likes it. He sees the dogs and gets fussy and then wants to go back to the spare bedroom. Next week I see my PCP which is 2 months since I last saw her when she said she was sending me to Vanderbilt University Hospital for them to do some diagnostics on why my gait continues to decline. I will then ask why they have not called me or what is going on. At this point I have quit being concerned and have decided I need to be patient with whatever comes my way. I have started seeing new changes in my decline so I think when I finally do go in for the tests something should show up. I also am finding myself being bewildered at the changes within my body. Recently I decided to clean a corner where my material for sewing was getting out of control. The struggle was getting up from being on the ground. I have had this problem for a while but it is usually a struggle getting back up with me grabbing onto something. With the cleaning out the corner I had to get up and down several times while I unpacked an overflowing cube, wiped out a plastic 3 drawer container and this bothered me a ton. I sit often on my chair with my legs crossed Indian style, if I hold onto something I can reach the floor with my hands stretching downward so I feel like I am flexible to some extent. It is my disability I am sure but in my mind I feel like I should be able to navigate this much easier. I need the walker as I walk around the house and I am making myself use it more rather than wandering off on my own steam. I tell myself that my decline is slowing down but I am not so sure it is. This is another growing in my struggle moment. I find that I release my concern into God's hands and remember that He is quiet aware of what is going on in my life. When I focus on this I am able to accept what is going on. I told Junior that I want us to use his truck for our outings for as long as I am able to pull myself up into the cab using the running board and handle inside the cab. I feel this is also a way to stay as mobile as long as possible. I also use my arm muscles to pull myself up and that means I should be able to push myself more in the wheelchair. Lastly learning to focus that God is walking alongside of me helps a lot and I see what I do have with my thankful prayers. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet