October 20, 2016

Greetings My Friend, As I write it is Friday, I got up this morning and did my quiet time and I was going to start a second Bible study with a group online. I read the chapter last night in the middle of the night and frankly my brain was not connecting well so I was going to read the same chapter again after my quiet time. The phone rang interrupting my plans which means I was a bit irritated, it was Brenda and we have had moments of great friendship and moments of "oh no, now what?" Right now Brenda is dealing with cancer, her tumor is not shrinking and she is upset understandably. I knew I would answer the phone and hangout with her so I answered the phone with the expectation that my plans were going astray. I had not gotten dressed so I proceeded making the bed, filling the CPAP machines etc. We talked a while longer so I decided to put lunch on. When I finally hung up I understood the importance of giving of your time some more. I found myself encouraging Brenda to minister to another person in order for her to take her mind off of all the junk that is going on right now. She mentioned a man who came in for Chemo how bad he looked and she tried to make a silly comment to him. She wanted to take away some of the sadness she saw in him. That is the moment I realized how important it is for us to reach out to others. We in the church usually call it ministring to others and it is good for us as much as it is for the people we are reaching out to. I remember the summer I was divorced, I decided to stick with my role as an adviser to teens. That particular summer we were going to help 3 different groups one a thrift store, one an abused women's shelter and I forget the last one. Anyway I was selected to work with the women's shelter painting rooms. As an adviser I worked with the teens organizing them and showing them how to work the projects and teaching them how respond to the women who were around us. It hit me more than once that summer that I should have been in a shelter during my marriage. I did not go to one because I kept thinking I was not the candidate to utilize one. I was ashamed too, I felt I should have learned how to deal with the craziness of the life I was in and a host of other things so that summer I came to terms with the need I truly had. I got through the moments though, talked with some of the women knowing their pain. I told my story, that is important at first telling the story so I shared some things. They shared and frankly that group of women wound up helping me face the struggle I had ahead of me. I helped them, they helped me and we healed a little. For a little while my problems did not seem as hard as I thought they were. It is those moments when we connect with someone else who is a little further along in the walk we have gone through. I have had cancer and Brenda knew that I could understand so she reached out to me. The more I focused on Brenda I also had little time to wonder about why I have not been called in for my diagnostic testing yet. I know it will come when it comes in the meantime though I want it to be in progress or over with and learning how to work through my disorder. I saw in our conversation that each step come when it is the right time as slow as it seems at times. After Brenda hung up I ate lunch with Junior and then I began the long process of shelling chestnuts. They are shelled and now are dehydrating so I can make flour. I am anxious to make my first batch of flour and try a few recipes. Keeping busy helps keep my thoughts quiet too. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet