August 13, 2016

Greetings My Friend, Each year as I read through the Bible I find certain passages get underlined again. I have read various types of Bibles through the years so underlining the same passages seem to get underlined. Single Point used this passage which brings hope to our lives and rseminds me that God has a purpose for me. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not evil, to give you a future and a hope." Understandably divorce throws people into a tail spin with the hurt of rejection and a loss of purpose. I certainly felt this way as I faced being single for the first time in my life really since I married the first boy I met in high school. I found a sense of life as I absorbed this passage and began facing being single and a mother of young adults. I struggled with how to relate to my children and to accept that they were growing in their own lives. A relationship class I took with Junior taught me that children who were raised in abuse are often angry at the abused parent as well as the abuser. They feel the abused parent should have gotten them out of the situation and generally do not understand the strggle it is to leave, to believe you can handle life. The more my children responded to me in anger and visted me infrequently the more I found myself coming back to this passage....I reminded myself that God wants me, all of me even my broken parts. It is hard to trust and trusting God was made harder since men have hurt me a lot, I feared God's anger with me would destroy me. After I met Junior and met a tough but gentle man I started to see God's tender loving side more and feared Him a whole lot less. I love God so much because of His gentleness with me and I was learning just as Junior had a toughness God also would correct us in firmness as well. I started to understand the need for firmness and correction, that love can be in correction. God also knew that if I am pushed too hard I will come out fighting and He corrected me the way I needed to be corrected. The more I settled into my relationship I found myself having a desire to write (Was it God's plan for me?). Ironicly Judy appeared in my life and mentored me, Sandy asked me to help put out with a newsletter for our re-married's group and my desire to write kept growing. While I was growing and started writing I continued to feel the sting of unhappy children and God reminded me over and over that He has plans for me. The process of fully immersing myself into God's desires for me has been a long journey of growing, looking back and mourning, God reminding me that I am His and He is enough. Junior appeared rather quickly in my life after the divorce, he is a gift from God, I see that almost every day. As my health declined I met God's gifts along the way, the people hugs I got from Celebrate Recovery, Clintwood Baptist friends and family later from friends like Teri, Ruth, Debbie and Boogie, my Sunday school class and along the way I met my on line friends. Recently I felt the release of sorrow my lost abilities, the loss of family and I am staring into the face of God seeing that He is enough, my all in all because He has plans for me a hope and a future. Life is good in Jesus. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet