February 13 2016

February 13 2016 Greetings My Friend The season of romance is here. My current marriage has taught me the importance of keeping romance alive in our marriage. We loved going to singles dances and after we married we had weddings we attended for Single Point friends and for family and friends that had young people entering into marriage. We were able to keep the dancing going. My mother was still alive and we quickly found ourselves involved with her care so those dancing days were diminishing. Settling into marriage and 2 different work shifts meant altering our date nights to venues. Within a few years our date nights changed from active nights out to a trip to the grocery store. Going later in the evening was fun. The store was emptier, it was fun to steal kisses in an empty aisle. We giggled and had fun buying groceries. About the time I had cancer I found going to the movies harder to do. I was exhausted. After recovery I maintained that tiredness so coming home Friday nights and even on Saturday nights we watched videos. We were side by side and this worked. With our move to SW Virginia our dates changed again. We were learning a new area and around here everything we do is a drive. I love alone time on a drive. We chat, we plan the renovating, our next trip and we share ourselves. I love our rides. Tonight we will go to church for a Valentine dinner put on by the teens. Adults cook the meal, the teens serve the meal in black and white outfits. They play romantic music and we share time in a nice setting. The teens earn money for retreats. Junior and I look forward to this each year. Even shopping at Lowe’s is a date for us. Junior goes off to find what he is looking for. I take a walk around the store for some exercise. When I am done I find Junior and I follow him around until he checks out. We are apart and then together and it works out rather nicely. One of the things I love about this marriage is that we are setting goals regularly. We may be plotting how we want a room to be structured for our needs. When it is finished I seek Junior’s input for decorating. I want our home to reflect both of our personalities. We need to keep a steady stream of conversations going so we both have what we need and want in this home. Through the years I learned that dinner and a movie does not have to be the only way to date. We can date taking a walk, a hike or a weekend away. Each couple has their own idea of romance. I felt for a long time that Junior and I were not a romantic couple. Later I learned what romance is to one couple may not be that romantic to another. Many women like to have their hair combed or stroked. Not me and don’t try to rub on my feet. Romance to me is making time to do something with me. I need attention not a fancy gift or vacation. Junior has learned to touch me not constantly but gently and often. Junior likes it when I affirm him, the work of his hands, the parenting of our fur children. We have learned each other’s love language. It helps us hit that right spot. If you have never read the book “Five Love Languages” I recommend it. Love Janet