January 24 2015

January 24 2015 Greetings My Friend I love watching Junior think through a project, he stops and stares at a spot in the project for long periods of time. I know he working out the idea in his mind as to what he wants to do next to make it “just right.” Yesterday we took off to Bristol for a date day. A Pro Bass store has just opened up so we took off to check it out. We wandered around, enjoyed the aquarium and the store in general. Afterwards we had dinner at the restaurant. All in all it was a very relaxing day. We talked as we drove along the road to Bristol and home again. We got silly and enjoyed each other. Junior did his tease me and then make a silly face which of course melted my heart. I said something quirky and his hand reached over to touch me. I love these little moments of love that we share. We have grown in our love, learned those sensitive areas and now we are comfortable being intimate with each other. I had always been a face watcher prior to Junior. Watching expressions allowed me to remove myself from anger quickly. When I first married Junior I was watching his face a lot, asking him if he was angry at times. He seemed bewildered by my questions but kept answering “no”. I learned that Junior is a face maker. His face is reacting to all the thoughts rolling around in his mind so it may appear he is angry but in truth he is figuring out projects, the next thing he wants to do and the like. As I learned to be at ease with all these faces I began to enjoy them. Today I am at ease and deeply in love. In the beginning when Junior got gruff with me I found I was defending myself. Through the years I learned that Junior was not attacking me but seeking a way for me to “stop”, to let me know I had hit a tender spot with him. Today if Junior is grumpy I know he is tired, in pain etc. I know to give him time and space and when he settles down he will come to me again. He is safe to me and I am safe to him. For me God taught me to pray for Junior and for our marriage. It is a habit I truly don’t want to neglect. I see moments where God tells me to back off and leave Junior alone. I learn those sensitive areas to not push those buttons. God has taught me to learn Agape love first with Junior and now it is my goal in general to Agape love all I am in relationship with. Seeking someone’s highest good to me has helped me to quit being the enabler that I was in the past. I learn to give the truth in love. I can’t beat someone up with the truth but I can in love and gentleness give the truth which in turn is Agape love. I am also learning to run as much as I can by God first. He truly is all I need and in that I am finding healthy relationships and healthy ways to relate to others. Rejection does not affect me as it has in the past because God reminds me that I am His and He is all I need. In the process God has given me people that care and enjoy me. It is a strange kind of wonderful to fall in love with God. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet