August 30 2014

August 30 2014 Greetings My Friend, The quietness surrounds me. I hear the rain falling outside my window as I sit another day in a chair attempting to feel better from bronchitis. Today I feel like I did last week and I am discouraged. So I sit in the quiet listening to the quiet sounds of life around me. Junior is taking his afternoon nap and Bella is curled up at my feet with Daisy on the floor next to me. In this quiet I find a contentment even in my illness. I am happy that I am able to get up to make a small meal, throw the sheets in the dryer and even push myself through making the bed again. Of course these are all done at intervals. I’ve called the doctor and have another appoint in the morning to get this thing checked out once more. The last time I remember struggling to get over bronchitis I was a child and that took me 6 weeks to get over. After that time frame I’d still get it but I usually moved through it easier. This bout of bronchitis reminds me of that time long ago. I hope it is just another round of antibiotics that will kick it but if not I’ve learned to do what I can and sit when I can’t. Doing my Bible study is a challenge to get focused. Even TV is not helping but for some reason I am able to sit and listen to the quiet sounds around me and accept the peace that this quietness seems to bring me. Prayer time took the focus off of my discomfort as I thought of people to list and ask for God to touch. A friend is struggling after her surgery and has a setback and she is down being quiet again. We both seem to be rebounding poorly with our ailments. She has checked in on me and I have checked in on her and even that moment of thinking about her has helped me keep my attitude on the positive side. I keep learning to attempt to put the focus back to God and onto another person who is hurting. For some reason I am able to let go of my illness for a bit and when I am dealing with a choking spell or my lungs feel like exploding I am able to walk through the rough moment and then refocus on others and not stay all tuned into “me.” I am praying for others, trying to do for myself as much as I can, listen to Junior as he comes and goes throughout the day. Facebook continues to let me touch the outside world. I have a laugh over a picture that is sent around. I say a prayer for someone struggling and I even feel a few “poor babies” as I comment on my struggle here and there. My major work these past few days has been my work on the computer so I still have a sense of accomplishment. My forays into the house attempting to cook, clean even if it is to sweep one floor also help me to keep engaging the world around me. I also realize that I am still serving, giving, loving and sharing the Gospel as I wade through each day of this illness and frankly that feels good too. In this deepest darkest moment of sickness I again see that God can use me anytime and all the time. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet