November 30 2013

November 30 2013
Greetings My Friend,
Junior hung a couple of wall hangings I had wanted hung up which prompted me to
do a bit of decorating. I moved things replaced a few things and I must admit that
the woman in me was going to town and loving it. I did not do a lot but some and
and frankly it felt real nice.
Each week we seem to be closer and closer to a finished home. The kitchen right now
is a shambles. I have to dance around things to move through the kitchen but down
deep I know in a bit I will have a full operational kitchen. This bout of Junior
renovating isn't confusing like most of it has been to this point because I have
order in over half the house.
I am able to figure out or ask Junior to plug the appliances in that I need to cook
with which helps me as well. I am gratefull that Junior doesn't mind me making food
to last a few days which means I am not constantly in the kitchen.
My niece and her family may be over at some point this weekend. When they come most of
the house looks fairly neat and put together which is how she is used to seeing my home.
When she has visited the last few years there has been no order in this house or the
house we rented. The house we rented was so much smaller than the one I had in MI that
I found it hard to make order. This house has been under renovation and has been a mess
but now....order is back and that feels real nice to me.

I am ever grateful for all the relationship classes and the marriage seminars we took when
we were first married. Slowly I began to learn things about men. Junior also learned a few
things about women and the way we are wired. Because of these classes we find we have an
understanding of each other we never knew about the opposite sex.
I find that I don't get over irritated with Junior and he does not get over irritated with
me. We let things slide where before we would have taken a stand. He is a man and thinks
like a man and I am a woman and think like a woman. I talk a lot and Junior as a man can
say thoughts in 3 words or less so to speak. These days when I see his eyes glaze over I
have a tendency to pull back and give him a breather.
Sometimes I ask him to define something more for me so I can fully grasp what he is trying
to communicate to me. He generally will oblige me and then we move on with the day. It is
refreshing. I also love that we don't need to make life about drama.
As we enter into the Christmas season this year I am finding a need for presents to be less
than I have needed in the past. I love when Junior brings me little gifts these days througout
the year. One of my favorite gifts is a flower picked from the yard. He brings it in and often
sets it near where I sit in the mornings. It is waiting there for me to discover and when I do
discover it I am delighted and can't stop thanking Junior. His face beams.
For the last while I keep coming back to the "little things in life" seem to bring more joy to me
than big things or even expensive things. That little flower says volumes to me. I know that I
was on Junior's mind and that feels precious to me.
Sometimes when I make the bed in the mornings I find Junior's side made up. I find that sweet as well.
He doesn't have to do that. I will often ask him to pull his side of the covers up if we both are
in the room. The already made part says Junior was once again thinking of me and I feel loved.
As I know that I will get gifts the ones for the holidays become less and less important to me. I
felt deprived of gifts for so long that I wanted to receive gifts for my birthday and for Christmas.
These days though I am not feeling so needy.
Junior also accepts my gifts. I like to give of myself to him so cooking many meals during the week
is a gift I give Junior. Cleaning up most days is another gift I give to Junior. In my mind I want
the house to be in order so when he stops working in the renovating rooms he can sit down in a
picked up orderly room....not super neat as well because he doesn't like that.
Sometimes when I am out shopping on my own I will bring him a small little thing and he always is
so happy that I thought of him. As I give Junior my love with little things and see him giving
me love in his little things I find that a new pair of ear rings is not so important these days.
In my prayers I find myself being thankfull for Junior just about daily. The more I thank God for
Junior I find the more I love him. I find myself not focusing on all of Junior's annoying traits
and I even like his quirky ways these days. They tend to make him unique and not a cookie cutter
mold of a man.
Junior also allows for us to have a "time out" when we tend to feel short with each other. That quiet
times tends to help me re-focus on the real issue and it helps us to move through the issue so much
faster. I am amazed at how often we are quickly friends again.
We tend to learn from those moments and frankly we don't keep repeating the same struggles over and
over again.
When we were first married I learned it was important to pray for our spouse and our marriage. I did
find it hard to pray for Junior's day at work because he told me very little about what his day was
like. I began doing my prayers asking God to be in Junior's day and teaching me to be what Junior
needed.
I also asked God to open my eyes and heart to Junior. By asking God to open my eyes and heart to my
man I found myself looking at Junior with a different set of eyes. In those moments of looking at
his heart I began to discover a man that is so tender and caring even if he sounds gruff and rough.As
I learned that soft spot I began to over look many of his annoying traits.
In our classes and retreats I also learned that Junior does not want that gushy love, the kind I find
so wonderful. I found him needing me to respect him for the man he is. Junior does not mind wearing
bright colored clothes and for me I tend to like the more muted colors. I am learning to wear a bright
colored pair of pants just for Junior. I can't do it day in and day out but every once in a while I
will put on a pair of pink pants just for him. He likes it and I find that is what matters the most.
As I quit looking at the fashion's of the day and start wearing things or even my hair more the way he
likes "me" I find myself feeling even more love. I don't have to go against my morales either. I like
that a whole lot. At one point in my life the man wanted me to be more brazen than I cared to make myself
look. These days I don't have to worry and frankly I don't mind giving Junior what he enjoys.
The Bible tends to also to open my eyes to Junior. "Men love your wives. Women respect your husbands" says
a lot to me. I also find a few versuses before that "Submit on to another" to be filled with so much
wisdom.
The more I look to God to teach me to be who He wants me to be the more contentment I feel. I am learning
to not be concerned if Junior and I are like every other person we meet. We have what we need to be
each other's best friend and that is enough.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet