October 23 2013

October 23 2013 Greetings My Friend, I am moving through my morning rather nicely. Junior is off to Kingsport to see about his prosthetic. He has a new foot for his leg and they are putting in on today. I have blown a fuse and am not sure how to reset it so I move to another area in the house. I love that I have different areas to write and study in. I am not able to get my body out of bed for his early morning runs. As much as I try I flat out can’t get up so it is what it is. Today I’ve made a list and wrote it on the blackboard with the hopes that I can erase my list as I finish things. It was one am before sleep came to me again last night. I did my TV watching and when sleep began to seep into my being I went to bed and slept all night. At least I sleep all night these days. Gone are the sleep an hour or three then wake up for an hour or three then go back to sleep nights. Thank you Lord! I read my Bible this morning and pondered that I don’t always walk away with a deep sense of learning. I do feel safe and comfortable though as I read. I love the familiar feelings I have as I read the scripture again and that feels nice. I notice that I may not get a huge revelation but I find peace as I read the now familiar passages. Deep inside me I know that when I need to learn a deeper learning that God will place it on my heart and I feel safe in that. I have also gone to prayer again and this is now my norm most mornings. Again if I get up and have somewhere to go I may forgo prayers for that day. I do my night time/morning prayers fairly much on a nightly/daily basis. If Daisy is insistent to be taken out then I finish these prayers in my comfy chair. So I have a backup plan that works as well. My day tends to focus more and more on God. Will He like what I am thinking? If not then I ask God to help me to leave those thoughts alone. God does and it is awesome. I try to find ways to be a blessing to Junior and many times it is asking God or being open to God’s direction that I respond to Junior. Sometimes old hurts try to crowd in on my thinking and again I ask God to help me move past those thoughts unless there is a lesson I am to learn. God will take the thoughts or help direct my thoughts so that I learn a lesson. As the dogs and I go for a daily walk I marvel at God’s creation. It is amazing yet again. I also marvel at God directing us to move to this place and the beauty that is my every day. I always find a peace seeping deep into my being as I walk along and my love for God grows. I also realize yet again that my life tends to be the same day in and day out. It is rhythmical and I enjoy the gentle slow pace. It is not scary like it would have been at one time in my life. I feel Junior’s love again and marvel at God’s creation of a man and woman in marriage. Daisy pulls at my attention and I take her outside. I even find comfort in that. Daisy has to go out at night as well and I am learning to not fear the dark. I have a tendency to whole up in the house once darkness comes. I can’t see at night so trips to town are only with Junior. As I walk Daisy around the yard I find gentleness to the night time. I don’t go real far out of the light range due to the fact I am totally blind in darkness. Junior has put up a few lights that shine out into the yard a bit. I appreciate that a ton. Evenings find me watching TV most nights. Until we moved to VA I did not watch TV but now TV is part of my routines as well. I enjoy the programs and find them to give life definition in their own way. Some nights I light the candles I have set up in the fireplace on top of the stove and mantel. They bring warmth and a soothing comfort as well. I am so thankful for TV also on the nights it tends to take me a long time to fall asleep. I am big on DIY programs since we are finishing our home right now. I like getting ideas and implementing them well Junior does that but I tell Junior and he often will make it happen. Junior will also ask me from time to time if I want a certain set up or style. I like that he includes me in the decision making process. As he continues to renovate I find that a lot of thought has gone into making things work for me as well as for him. I have been thinking about our bathroom that we have now. Down the road we will add a 2nd bathroom. Our bathroom now is real small. I mentioned to Junior that he might want to put a shorter shower in and then he went on with the thought. If he shortened the shower he could move the sink and then we’d have more room. It made me happy that he entered into the puzzling through of things. This project would not happen for a few years but I was able to puzzle through this and enjoyed the process. As I am able to puzzle through things I find myself returning to the “old me” and I like that a whole bunch. I am not as quick as I once was but I do love to enter into much the same process that I have in the past. This is something I have loved and enjoy once more. Life tends to be sweet these days. Gone is the depression that tried to overtake me. I have to take medication but I am happy it took me 40 years to need medication. Having the feeling of love, being wanted and wanting to enter into another’s life is sweet. May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you. Love Janet